


Elements

by chiapslock



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Avatar the last airbender!AU, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Sheith Big Bang 2017, a lot of Voltron team feels, alternative universe, hints of Lance/Hunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 23:38:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 76,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12000321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiapslock/pseuds/chiapslock
Summary: Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.Now 100 years have passed and everyone knows the Avatar won’t save them. This is not the story of the Avatar, this is the story of six benders that overcome their differences, face their insecurities and learn that, to save the world, you don't need to master all the elements alone, just summon an ancient construct.[AKA an ATLA/TLOK Sheith!AU]





	1. Book One: Chains

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fic for Sheith Big Bang 2017.
> 
> Before letting you read this I want to clarify a couple of things: I've tried to make it readable even for people who have almost no knowledge of ATLA or TLOK. So that shouldn't be a problem!
> 
> In terms of technology it works like this: The Fire Empire had reached TLOK levels of advancement (so steampunk territory) while the rest of the nations are still mostly stuck, like in ATLA, way before that. 
> 
> The cover is from the incredible [Alyciana](http://alicyana.tumblr.com)! Plz love her  
> The dividers are made by one of my artist, please look them up!! [Moon-fossil @ tumblr ](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com)
> 
> I've put a lot of love in this crazy fic, with a crazy plot, so I hope you guys enjoy.  
> Just to be clear this all started because I wanted Shiro to earthbend his own arm.

  
  
_Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony._

_Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked._

_Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished._

 

 

 

The moment she opens her eyes, at the end of her speech, Allura already knows she has failed.

Her failure is broadcast by the fear in the faces of her audience, in the nervous shifting of their feet, in how all of them are looking at the exits, eager to flee. She has failed and thrown away a year of exhausting work.

Her father would be so angry. Or maybe not. He had never been truly angry at her—disappointed at times, yes— but mostly a supportive figure.

She misses him with every breath she takes in this new, scared world.

Allura has always known that this was a long shot. Her strength has never been public speaking; her style has always been to lead by example and hope that people realize that the right thing to do is follow her. This is a much more delicate matter.

She looks at the people watching her, at the tired souls that have answered her call, and she wonders when fear had become such a familiar sentiment that she can almost recognize it in the air, like a poisonous gas.

It might have happened the day Zarkon destroyed the last member of the Air Nation, but she fears sometimes that it had happened even before that - that their fates had been condemned by cowardice and weakness.

She knows she is being unfair, but she can’t understand why no one wants to fight, why even her plan is received with such shock and reluctance. It’s risky, of course it is, but it’s the best opportunity they have.

And probably the last.

Allura pushes, then, because if all is lost what other choice does she have if not continue until her voice is hoarse, her strength gone? “I know you are scared, but this is not the time to quiver in front of the enemy! We need the quintessence, we need the power! I have waited a year to track one shipment, to prepare this attack. If we don’t do it now… please!”

Her plea is faced with silence. For a moment she hopes, against all possibilities, but then someone shakes his head and starts to walk towards the exit. It’s the signal everyone was waiting for, apparently, and the crowd starts to disperse with some murmured “I’m sorry” or “I can’t”.

Cowards. All of them.

She will try this on her own if she has to, but she knows it would be a suicide mission.

_But what else can she do?_

A year of planning, of sacrifices, and this is what she has made of it. She’s ashamed of herself.

“Dammit,” she mutters, closing her eyes. She will not look at them all ruining what could be their best chance; she can’t or she will break.

Allura does not have the time to break.

“So, we’re not doing it?” someone asks and she opens her eyes quickly, noticing the four figures still in the room.

From what she can gather from their clothes, there are two earthbenders and one waterbender in front of her, waiting for some kind of answer. In the back there is another person, but his clothes are plain and don’t betray his bending style, if he has one. He could be a non-bender, or maybe someone that traveled enough to know that broadcasting your bending ability could be a death sentence lately. She can’t really blame him.

“I… you’re staying?” she asks, surprised. She can’t help it, even if she knows she should play it cool. Allura had already resigned herself to doing this alone. Five people still aren’t enough, but it is a step up from one, especially with the two earthbenders. She doesn’t dare to hope that maybe one of them can metalbend, that seems too much to ask for, but any help is welcomed.

“Well, we can’t certainly leave a beauty such as yourself all alone, now can we?” the young man dressed in blue says, with a quick confident smile. It feels out of place, forced, and she has to stop herself from grimacing.

The man beside him doesn’t stop himself from cringing and she can see the look of complete embarrassment in his eyes.

“Also, it’s the right thing to do,” the smaller figure says. With his slim frame, he seems to be younger than the others. Allura wonders how young for just a second, before remembering that in this world it doesn’t really matter: they have all been pushed into this war ready or not, old enough or not.

Guy-in-the-back doesn’t say anything, but he stays. She figures that says enough.

Still, Allura thinks it is only fair to say, “This won’t be easy.” Because she wants them to be prepared. She needs them to know and follow her anyway. “With only five people… it’s practically a suicide mission.”

A tense pause follows her words, and maybe this is it. Maybe they will leave now, too; but at least she won’t have their lives on her conscience.

“When do we leave?” says the cloaked figure in the back and Allura looks up, startled.

The others don’t seem to be leaving, even if the big earthbender seems ready to pass out. They are probably stupid, or they suffer from some kind of hero complex or…

Allura doesn’t really have the time to analyze them. This is already her last resort. She has a mission to plan and to complete and they, as crazy as they might be, are the only possibilities she has.

“The facility is two days from here. We will leave tomorrow morning and debrief during the trip. We don’t have time to try and see how we work together or get to know each other.” The time for insecurity is over, and she has always been better at action than planning. “I hope you’re all great team players.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe. You all just have to keep up with me,” the waterbender says, laughing. His friend huffs: a little bit embarrassed, but also fond.

“My name is Hunk,” the earthbender says, before pointing to the waterbender. “He’s Lance. He’s an idiot, but a well-meaning one.”

“I resent that,” Lance says, but doesn’t seem mad. They are good friends, it seems, and Allura envies them a little, even if she doesn’t want to. At least she’s sure that the two of them won’t have trouble working with each other.

“My name is Pidge,” the little guy interrupts, fixing his glasses. Allura smiles at him and nods, and the guy responds in kind.

“I am Allura, but you already knew that,” she says, because it seems only fair. Everyone looks at the last person, then, but their last teammate doesn’t seem to be the talkative kind.

“Keith” is the only thing he says, before huffing.

“Yay, team,” Lance mutters, and Allura does her best to contain her grimace. They don’t have time for fights; she can only hope that however silent Keith might be, he will come through in the end.

Only time will tell.

 

 

 

They have been walking for a long time already and it seems like the waterbender—Lance, Pidge amends in her head—isn’t going to stop talking anytime soon.

Pidge hasn’t really been listening for the last hour, but she can see how the constant chatter is grating on Keith’s nerves.

She gives it another hour, at most, before Keith finally snaps. Normally the situation would amuse her more than anything else, but she needs them. Allura had been right the day before: infiltrating the facility with only five people is suicidal, but doing it alone would be futile.

She doesn’t have the luxury of trying stupid useless tactics; she needs to get inside the compound and figure out if her brother and her father are there. There aren’t many firebender compounds able to contain metalbenders, and she’s running out of options.

This will be the fourth one she has raided this year and if she doesn’t find them here, she will have to travel inside Fire Empire territory. She’s not looking forward to that.

“In my village we have this game where we ride penguins down a hill, it’s the funniest thing. It’s really different from _bending_ down a hill, you see, because the penguins try to free themselves. It’s so exciting,” Lance is saying, and Pidge looks behind her to see if someone is really paying attention.

Hunk has the air of someone who’s heard this all before, Allura appears completely focused on where they are going. Keith seems to be the only one reacting in any way, and it’s mostly with annoyance.

“Can’t you just shut up for five minutes?” Keith mutters, a lot sooner that Pidge had hoped.

Lance stops and looks back at the other guy. “What did you just say to me?”

“That maybe we would be able to concentrate more if you just shut up,” Keith hissed through gritted teeth, and she can already see the fight shaping up in front of her. It’s not going to be a pretty one.

“Enough!” Allura shouts, looking back at them with a glare. “We don’t have the time for bickering. Get your head in the mission or go back.”

She’s harsh, but it’s the reason why Pidge had decided to stay. Allura might not be kind—even her words while trying to convince an entire room to participate in an absurd mission had been rude more than anything else—but she seems to be someone who gets the job done. Pidge needs someone like that.

Keith and Lance stop immediately, but she can see the tension between them. She knows it’s nothing more than a temporary fix, but the important thing is that it holds until they are done.

“He’s just scared,” Hunk tells her, and Pidge looks at him in surprise. She hadn’t sensed him and she doesn’t know when he had gotten so close. “He’s nervous and scared,” he repeats, “and just… he talks when he’s stressed. A little bit like me, but he was just going on so I didn’t have to and…”

Pidge almost sighs out loud, but she stops herself just in time. There is no need to be rude, especially because she’s using them. She doesn’t have to be a _total_ asshole.

“Then let’s talk about the mission,” she interrupts him with a smile. “That way we have something to talk about that won’t annoy anyone, and maybe it can make you feel better?”“Heh. Why not? I don’t think it can be worse than this,” Hunk concedes and they look towards the others.

Lance and Keith are still glaring at each other but Allura seems to be thinking.

“I was planning on stopping somewhere to plan a little more calmly but okay, we can do both,” Allura grants, quickly glancing at Lance and Keith, “if it can help keep everyone focused.”

“I am focused!” Lance huffs angrily, and Keith just shakes his head.

Allura had already given a short version of the plan yesterday, when she had recruited them, so everyone knew the main objective: take the quintessence that Zarkon's soldiers are transporting.

In truth, there aren't many people that really understand what quintessence is, exactly, and Pidge has never been one too in touch with the spiritual side of their world. They have a war to fight. There is no time for spirits, especially because the spirit world has been closed off for a long time.

Quintessence, however, is said to be the only thing left from when the spirits walked the earth.

To be exact, it’s concentrated spiritual energy and it's extremely rare. Apparently, Zarkon has been accumulating all the quintessence he can, but no one knew why.

Allura thinks—hopes—that by taking a sample to study, they might figure out what he's doing and how to stop him.

"We'll arrive at the edge of the compound tomorrow at dusk." Allura keeps walking and they all follow behind her. "The quintessence will be ready to be shipped the next morning at dawn, so we won't have much time to act. It's not going to be easy, and we will have to move quickly."

"Do we know where we have to go?" Hunk asks.

"More or less," Allura answers, which is not what they were expecting.

" _Uhm_ , I'm sorry, I thought you just said ‘more or less’? I thought you said you had already scouted the place!" Lance shouts, surprised.

"I...I know the layout, but...I have never been inside," Allura admits with a sigh.

Pidge grimaces inwardly. This is bad, they don’t have a margin of error if they go in the wrong direction, and they’re not sure of the right direction...

"I know where the cargo is," Keith says quietly, almost like he's not sure if he wants them to hear. Pidge can't really fault him, because this opens up a whole lot of questions.

"What do you mean, you know?" Lance exclaims, surprised. "You were there?"

Keith seems annoyed at the sudden attention and he shrugs, but it's too little too late.

"You were a prisoner?" Pidge asks, and she tries to be neutral, tries not to show how important this information is to her. If Keith had been a prisoner... maybe he knows where her brother and father are, if they were prisoners with him.

"I escaped," Keith answers, with a grave voice.

Hunk seems empathetic while Lance is muttering something under his breath, but Allura…. Allura doesn't seem convinced.

"How?" she asks, and her mistrust is almost palpable. They have stopped walking, but it's probably for the best.

"How do you think?" he bristles. Every moment he closes off more and more. Pidge doesn't like to think about what the firebenders do to the prisoners, but she wonders sometimes what state her family will be in if ( _when_ ) she saves them.

It's a scary thought that maybe, even if she frees them, they won't be the same.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking. No one has ever escaped," Allura presses again.

Keith doesn't answer for a while, his entire stance aggressive and defensive at the same time. He's like a feral cat, ready to strike.

"A friend sacrificed himself," he mutters in the end, but every word sounds painful. "He didn't make it. But he freed me. And now I want my revenge."

No one says anything for a minute. She doubts there’s anyone here who hasn't lost someone to the Fire Empire, and Keith's story brings up bad memories for everyone.

They all look at Allura, trying to understand if she’ll keep pushing or give in. They haven’t really talked much about each other, only the basics (name and bending) and it feels strange now, digging so deep. Pidge wouldn’t want to be in Keith’s place; she has her own secrets. She wants to put an end to this, but she doesn’t know how.

"Okay. I'm sorry," Allura says, in the end, and Keith relaxes marginally. "If you know the layout of the facility, it will be helpful. Come on. We’ve lost enough time"

Everyone nods and they start walking, but it takes some time before Allura speaks again, almost as if she wishes to give Keith some time to compose himself.

Pidge spends that time glancing at Keith. It's not like she doesn't believe his story, but at the same time... she wonders if, maybe, Keith’s motives to join this mission are more aligned with hers than with Allura's. Someone who knows the place, who can point her in the direction of the prisoners and where they are held is invaluable.

She needs to talk with Keith alone, tonight.

"So we go into the cargo area, being careful not to let anyone see us. Stealth will be key for the success of the mission. We retrieve the quintessence..." Allura says again, before Lance interrupts.

"And then we go back to Ba Sing Se like heroes!" he says with excitement. "The five people that have bravely faced and conquered one of the Fire Empire's prisons."

It doesn't sound bad and Pidge smiles along with Hunk, but she doesn't want to stop there.

She will free the men held prisoner in the camp, she will save her family, and then... well, she thinks they will be recognized as heroes for more than even Lance imagines.

The knowledge that she's betraying them all weighs heavy on her shoulders, but her life has been one difficult decision after another.

This won't be the last; and at this point, she's too far along to stop.

 

 

 

Keith doesn’t stop to think about what he’s doing because he knows that there’s only guilt waiting for him that way, and he’s already entirely too familiar with that emotion. Sometimes it feels like his entire existence is based on guilt alone.

They talk about the plan while they walk and they iron out the most complicated issues and all he can think about is when it will be the best time to split off from them.

He will go with them to the entrance point, direct them to the quickest way to reach the holding area, tell them where the guards are usually posted, but then he has to go his own way. He is using them, he knows it, but he has no other choice.

There is no way for him to make it inside alone. Escape is one thing, but sneaking in? That’s another thing completely.

He might be doing them a favor, or that’s what he likes to tell himself. After all, he will probably draw a lot of attention when he frees the other prisoners, diverting the attention from them, helping their effort at stealth along.

In the end they stop only because they have been walking for hours and it’s getting dark. Even the annoying waterbender doesn’t seem to have anything more to say (and that’s a miracle all in itself).

“We should eat and then sleep. Someone will have to stand guard, and we will alternate,” Allura says methodically, and he appreciates it. He’s still nervous; her earlier questions were a little too abrasive, but it’s mostly his fault.

After all, her suspicions are right, aren’t they?

“Well,” Hunk says, searching for something from his bag, “I wasn’t sure how we were set for dinner so I… I made some sandwiches for everyone. I didn’t have the best ingredients, because the bakery wasn’t open this morning so it’s bread from yesterday but…”

All Keith has is some stale proteic shit that stopped being edible probably eight years ago, so he shrugs and takes the offered sandwich. “Thanks” he says, because he might be a dick, but not that much of a dick.

He likes _Hunk_.

He also thinks the big earthbender is too soft, that this war they’re facing will destroy him because there is no place for kind-hearted people. But he likes him.

“Hunk makes the best food,” Lance says, taking his share. “He could be a chef!”

Keith doesn’t like Lance, but he knows it’s mostly because he won’t stop talking and his endless chatter is distracting. Keith doesn’t have time for distraction.

(He’s also self-aware enough to realize that some of his dislike is born from envy. Envy that Lance seems to be relaxed, untouched by all the tragic things that have happened all around them and not grateful enough for it. Keith will never have that, and he would kill to go back to being happy and unburdened.)

Allura and Pidge accept their food as well, but they don’t talk while they eat. It's good, better than anything Keith has eaten in months (though it's not as if that's a high bar, compared to what he's been able to eat living on the streets since his escape).

When they finish it’s clear that everyone is exhausted. Keith knows he won’t be able to sleep anyway so he shrugs and says, “I will take first watch.” He privately decides not to wake them up for the second watch; there is no need to have everyone sleep-deprived the next day.

“I’ll stay awake with Keith,” Pidge says, and Keith watches him suspiciously.

“There is no need for two people to stay awake, we aren’t enough and…” Allura starts, but Pidge shrugs.

“I don’t mind doing two turns. I can’t sleep,” he says, and Keith’s suspicions just get worse.

After than no one says anything and it doesn’t take much time before everyone is sleeping. He doesn’t know if Pidge realizes it as well or if he just isn’t patient enough to wait any longer, but he’s not surprised when the small earthbender sits beside him and whispers, “[I need to talk to you](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002916750/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith)”.

“Yeah,” Keith can’t help saying. “You weren’t exactly subtle about that.”

The other has the decency to look embarrassed for a second before he shakes his head and his expression turns resolute again. Keith recognizes the look: _someone ready to do anything_. It’s a dangerous look.

“You said you escaped from the camp?” Pidge asks, but he doesn’t leave him any time to answer before he continues. “I… you were a prisoner there, right? I’m looking for two people, Matt and Sam Holt”.

Keith frowns and tries to remember. He thinks he remembers someone named Holt, but he’s not really sure. He has never been good with names and he has never really taken an interest in people outside of….

“They’re both metalbenders!” Pidge continues desperately. His voice is starting to rise a little; if he doesn’t calm himself, he will wake everyone up.

Then Keith remembers. It’s mostly a flash, a _I can’t leave them here, Matt…_ whispered in an almost guilty tone.

“Matt. I think,” he says, “he was… he was friends with my friend.”

Pidge doesn’t seem to notice anything wrong with that, doesn’t ask why Matt wasn’t _his_ friend, too focused on the news and he almost jumps. “So he is there!” he says, his voice barely a whisper again, almost as if he can’t believe it.

God, Keith knows the feeling.

“It was months ago,” he feels like he has to say. “I don’t know if…” There had been an insurrection when he had escaped and he doesn’t know what happened after.

“But he was there. And maybe he still is,” Pidge says, and Keith doesn’t really want to crush his hopes. God, he doesn’t want to crush his own. It seems that he hasn’t been hiding his intentions very well anyway. “You want to free the prisoners, don’t you?” the other boy asks him, and Keith looks shocked for a second.

“How…?” he tries, but Pidge just shakes his head.

“I want the same thing, I’m here for the same thing. It wasn’t difficult spotting a kindred spirit,” Pidges says with a smile. “So I say we do it together.”

Keith looks at the others, thinks about their plan, and Pidge glances behind as well. “We’ll help them for as long as we can,” he says, almost like he can read Keith’s mind, “but I can’t give this up. Can you?”

Keith almost laughs in his face.

Every day he has to live with the guilt, the knowledge that he might be too late, that he will never be forgiven for his sins, that he doesn’t _deserve it_.

Give it up? He’s ready to _burn_ the entire world if he has to.

 

 

 

If anybody had asked Hunk—and unfortunately no one ever did—he would have told them how much of a terrible idea this was. The entire thing, really, from the meeting in the shady warehouse in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se to this suicidal mission.

Unfortunately, again, _no one_ ever asks Hunk, especially Lance, who dashes forward and drags him along for the ride. Okay, this is unfair. Hunk decides to follow of his own accord, but only because he doesn't want to leave his best friend to do these dangerous things alone.

It's not like he doesn't understand why Lance does them either. He just wishes, sometimes, that Lance could stop for a second and realize that sometimes a little strategy goes a long way into assuring their continued survival.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust the people they’re traveling with (even if they’ve been less than forthcoming on a lot of things, but he can understand trauma, and all three of them look like they’ve gone four rounds against PTSD and lost. Who doesn’t these days?) but maybe they _could_ have given it a little more thought than three minutes. He’s just saying.

“We need to do this,” Lance reminds him, and it's not like they _have_ to, but it's something Hunk won't ever say.

"I know," he replies, "but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. Lance, this is... it's not a game. This is dangerous."

"Yeah!" Lance exclaims, excited. "Exactly! And when we pull it off no one will doubt us again!"

Hunk looks at his friend and sighs a little inside. There wasn't ever any chance of Hunk abandoning Lance. He knows that. It's why he's here after all, why he always ends up involved in these kinds of things.

God, he hopes they won't get killed for this, or he will just have to haunt Lance even from the dead.

It's their second day of travel and even Lance can't muster up the energy to be a nervous chatterbox like the day before. It gives them a modicum of peace, but Hunk can feel the shivers of fear running up his spine now that he doesn't have Lance's enthusiasm to concentrate on. If he says anything, he knows Lance would start talking again, but he doesn't want to burden him (even if he would fucking deserve it).

They know the plan, know the details, know the best hours to move, when security would be thinner. Hunk still doesn’t feel at all ready.

He feels nauseated. It's his nerves, he knows that, but it's not something he can control. He doesn't want to puke in front of the scary-looking people that form this ragtag team.

Hunk has always been a good judge of character. It was the reason he had trusted Lance so easily the first time they had met, on the busy streets of Ba Sing Se. He believes that everyone who's traveling with them is at least a decent enough person, but he doesn't want to be the laughing stock.

"We still have an hour of walking," Allura tells them, looking ahead without any doubt in her face. Her stance hasn’t wavered at all since the day before. She has been standing tall and rigid and it makes him think, sometimes, that maybe she's an earthbender too, but he knows it isn't the case.

Non-bender, she had told them yesterday, and he doesn't have any reason to distrust her on this.

"How can you tell?" he asks, because he can't help himself, because he's nervous and even if the dirt underneath his foot is comforting he wouldn't be able to say where they were going in her place. And he can actually tell where buildings are. "It's not that I want to undermine you. Or don't believe you or..."

"I have gone many times to keep an eye on things, Hunk," Allura tells him, and she seems to be amused for the first time since they have known her (which, okay it hasn't been that much, but he feels powerful all the same).

No one else says anything and soon they are walking again in silence. Hunk hates silence.

They are so close to finally starting this mission and all he can think about are the things that could go wrong and the things the Fire Empire’s soldiers would do to them.

He really needs to puke.

"You're going green," Lance tells him, and Hunk nods, without saying anything. "You're not going to be sick, Hunk."

"Easy for you to say," he whispers back, a little bit annoyed. He doesn't want to be here, he's not a fighter, his earthbending is sub-par at best, terrible at worst and it always acts a little uncontrollable when he's nervous.

And he is _very_ nervous

"Everything will be fine. It's more of a stealth mission than anything else," the other reminds him, but Hunk is terrible at that, too, so there’s no comfort to be found there.

Lance seems to understand as well because he grimaces for a second and then he says, as low as possible, "Sorry.”

Hunk knows why Lance is apologizing, knows he's here only because of his disaster of a best friend, but he doesn't want to hear the apology. This is not what it is about.

So he swallows down the bile and answers. "You owe me, like, two thousand pies," he says, and Lance smiles, pleased. He can do this for Lance.

They arrive at the compound after an hour and it's bigger than what they had imagined, more imposing too. How can they do this?

"The external doors and the area where they keep the prisoners are made of platinum," Allura tells them, "so not even Pidge will be able to bend them open."

"Oh, great! You didn't tell us that!" Lance says, surprised. "How will we be able to enter??"

Surprisingly, it's Keith that answers. "The floor. Unlike the prisoner's area the floor near the cargo area is made of normal metal."

"That seems like an oversight," Pidge says, scowling, and he's right. It is a surprising weakness.

Allura's face goes dark and Keith, without an ounce of empathy in his voice, says, "Platinum is expensive. That's the reason why metalbenders were the first to be hunted down."

It's true. No one in Hunk's family had been a metalbender (not that it had helped them when it came to avoiding Zarkon’s anger) but he remembers the story of the great purges. How Zarkon had gone first to destroy the airbenders (where the Avatar should have been born) and then he had searched the earth for any metalbenders.

The fact that Pidge is still free is frankly mind-blowing.

Everyone besides Keith turns to look at their own metalbender, but if the other's blunt words have any impact on him, Pidge doesn’t want to show it. They respect his decision and look away quickly.

"So we enter from below," Allura tells them, with a brisk tone in her voice. “We should be able to resurface somewhere with less security and from there we will have to sneak around until we find the cargo bay. We take the quintessence and we flee. No more heroics than that."

Everyone nods and Hunk is a hundred percent on board with the _no heroics_ part of the plan and he hopes that they don't have to fight. He really isn't good at that.

"We will rest for an hour, look at the situation, and then we strike," Allura concludes, looking at each and every one of them for a second. "I know I didn't sell this terribly well, and I didn't... I don't know why you decided to follow me, but I want to thank you. This will be so important in making sure we not only survive this war, but come out as victors."

Hunk looks at her, surprised, and then says quickly, "I just want everyone to know that if I puke it's not anyone's fault."

Everyone stares at him with various levels of revulsion on their faces and he can't do more than grimaces. Well, he most certainly spoiled the mood.

“Sorry. Keep going. Didn’t mean to interrupt,” he says in the end, shuffling his feet a bit.

Lance is the first to laugh, which doesn’t come at a surprise. But when Pidge and Allura join in (and even Keith cracks a smile) he feels strangely proud.

It doesn’t last long, but for a moment they are more relaxed that they’ve been the whole way here. The nervousness sets in again way too soon, but it is to be expected.

They rest until the sun is nearly up and then Allura nods. Hunk and Pidge look at each other. As the only two earthbenders, it falls to them to create a tunnel to reach the right spot; a wrong move or turn and they might miss their opportunity.

So they start to dig, their bending flowing in synch. Earthbending is not the most elegant of the bendings, but it has always suited him fine, more strong and sharp than fluid and elegant. Bending the earth to your command is something that requires a strong stance; you need to be as unmovable as the rock itself.

It is strange to see Pidge do it, as slim as he is, but he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, his movements flawless and skilled.

After they’ve been going on for almost thirty minutes, Allura nods and tells them to stop. Hunk is panting, tired from the effort, but when Pidge starts metalbending he holds up the tunnel on his own. There’s nothing more he can do.

It seems they’ve stopped, miraculously, in the right place, and when Pidge finishes creating the hole to climb into they emerge in a little room. If they haven’t messed up anything they have to go right just after the door and then keep going until they reach their destination and hope no one sees them. Easy.

“Okay, Lance, Keith, you two keep point. Lance you’re the only bender who can use his bending in here, and Keith you have your knife so you should be able to fight in a pinch,” Allura starts, and Lance nods, even if he’s a little nervous, but Keith just looks at Pidge.

“Look,” Keith says after a pause, “if you want to avoid the guards you’d best go right at the door then left at the first chance. It takes a little longer, but it’s less patrolled”

“Wait. ‘You?’ Keith, aren’t you coming with us?” Allura says, and her voice is like ice. Cold and unforgiving. _Yikes_.

Keith doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t even show remorse. “No” is his response, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it does anyway. This was all going too easily.

“I’m going with Keith,” Pidge says, and well, isn’t that just the best?

“What?” Lance explodes. “Keith abandoning us doesn't surprise me! But you, Pidge?” Everyone shushes him, but Lance is on a bad combination of fear, nerves and anger. Never good.

“We brought you here!” Pidge replies. “I’ll leave the hole open so you can escape and Keith has told you the best way! I just… we just…”

“We have unfinished business,” Keith jumps in. “and people to save.”

“We had a plan,” Allura reminds them, angry and hurt. She’s not wrong, but Hunk can see that they won’t be swayed.

He can understand Keith, the torture he must have endured. In a way they should have expected this from the first time Keith had told them that he had escaped from here.

Pidge… he’s a surprise.

“I’m sorry,” Pidge says, and it’s obvious he means it. It’s obvious that it’s not something he and Keith are doing with a light heart, but something they feel they have to do.

It makes it difficult for him to hate them.

Pidge hesitates a second before standing up and nodding towards Keith. They leave quickly after that and Hunk feels the familiar grip of panic getting to him.

God, he’s really going to puke and then where will they be?

He doesn’t want to look at Allura or Lance, he doesn’t think he will be able to mask his fear. He knows that both of them will want to keep going, won’t let this stop their big plans, but he’s not like them. He hadn’t been sure they could do it with five, but three?

And also there is a part of him, the one that trusts them still, the one that always tells him to follow Lance, that he uses to judge what are terrible—but necessary—plans from _just_ terrible plans, that is telling him that they should go after them, help them.

There are people’s lives in the balance, lives that have already suffered so much. The quintessence may help them in the long run but… it’s just a possibility and faced with the choice of saving actual people?

He knows what _he_ wants to do.

 

 

 

It’s not like Lance can’t believe it. He had known since the first minute that there was something wrong about that Keith, but he can’t help being surprised about Pidge.

He looks around at Allura and Hunk, and while his friend seems to be on the fast track for a panic attack, Allura is looking at the door like she still can’t believe what has happened.

From what he remembers of their plan they don’t have a lot of time to sort themselves.

It seems that Lance has to step up, demonstrate that he can do this. Isn’t that what it has all been about?

“We need to move,” he says. “We can still do this!”

Allura looks at him and for a second she looks tired, spent. She looks like she’s lost and doesn’t know what to do.

She recovers quickly, the armor she has been wearing all this time coming up quickly around her and soon her face is like marble, determined and unmovable.

“Yes, we are past the point we needed Pidge. We can do it without them,” she says, nodding along as if to convince herself more than them. She gets up and removes some dirt from her pants.

Lance nods, encouraging her, hoping it will be enough. They have gone too far to turn back and, frankly, he needs this. He wants to go back to Ba Sing Se as a hero, he wants everyone to acknowledge that he and Hunk are not useless. It's all he wants, all he has wanted since the beginning.

"I'm..." Hunk starts then, and both he and Allura look at him. Lance recognizes quickly that Hunk is nervous, scared, but determined. It's the best Hunk, but also the worst. "I think we should help them."

Allura seems outraged by the suggestion and Lance doesn't really want to drop everything to follow the whims of _Keith_. He and Pidge didn't even seem to think before leaving them with the rotten end of the stick, why should they help them?

"We need the quintessence to understand what Zarkon is planning!" Allura says, and she's raising her voice a little, her control slipping as quickly as water through a river. It's not good.

"No one has ever escaped from one of this prisons!" Hunk continues. "There are good benders here, that don't... don't deserve what's happening to them."

Oh. _Right_.

Lance closes his eyes and just takes a second to think about what Hunk is saying. They can save a lot of people today; he might be angry at their disappearing companions, hurt by their callousness, but it's not like he can't see what his friend is talking about. They’ve lost so many people over the years, too many to keep count, really, and being able to free some of them, save them from an unknown fate… He knows both he and Hunk would give anything to be able to do it for their families.

"If we don't figure out Zarkon's plan, they will just end up here again!" Allura bristles, and she isn't being rational. Or maybe she's being too rational. Lance has never worked like that.

"But we could free them and then steal the quintessence!" Lance proposes with a triumphant smile. It's the perfect plan, they could find backup, maybe even take down some Fire Empire scum.

He touches the satchel of water he always has on his hip and thinks that he can do it. That he has to do it.

This is a trial by fire, quite literally, and Lance can't really lose.

"We don't have the time!" Allura almost screams. Lance and Hunk look at each other for a moment and they both know that their minds are set.

"We can't leave innocent people to suffer," Lance replies, with the gentlest tone he can muster. He knows it's not easy letting go, he understands better than most, but also he knows that there are people that await the return of these prisoners, that suffer every day.

Maybe it’s not a fancy spiritual stone, but it's worth a lot.

"The whole plan... We need to figure out..." Allura is mumbling and Lance doesn't know what to do, how to convince her. Maybe he can't. She had seemed ready to do this on her own in the beginning and maybe they should help her, maybe it’s a terrible choice to leave her right now. But could they live with themselves if they don’t do it?

"We’re going. If you change your mind...." Hunk tries and Allura huffs.

"You don't even know where the area they're holding the prisoners is," she tells them, unkindly. She's hurt, they both know this.

"Well, we know we have to go left. The rest will come later," Lance says, hoping that maybe it will help Allura relax. It doesn't.

"We will lose this war," she warns them, her tone low and angry.

"But if we won by leaving people to die... I don't think we would be worthy of winning," Hunk says, and Lance smiles at him. That's why this guy is his best friend, dammit.

"So we go," Lance says, nodding, "and then we go back to the city like heroes!"

"Failures, more likely," Allura mumbles, but Lances smiles anyway.

They can do it, _he can do it_.

They move out then, going left like Pidge and Keith had done and hoping to find some kind of path to follow. They don't find it but the road is pretty linear, a long corridor with a lot of laboratories. This feels more like firebenders’ quarters than anything else.

This has to be a huge compound, and it feels strange that they haven’t yet met anyone. At the same time it’s a blessing. Maybe they can do everything without attracting too much attention. Free the prisoners and then get that stone.

Lance wonders sometimes who can be considered luckier: the ones that are still alive, but doomed to live their lives in places like these, or the ones that died before it even reached this point.

Sometimes he thinks the latter, but it is a depressing thought all in all.

They catch up with Keith and Pidge in the end. They’re whispering quietly in a corner and look surprised when they spot them. Lance can’t really blame them.

"What are you doing here?" Pidge demands and Lance just shrugs.

"Winning the team player awards you refused when you betrayed us!" he replies, a little hurt. Now that he’s here, he realizes that he feels better that they are all together again, even if this plan seems to get more complicated every second. He’s scared, but he’s not alone.

"Jeopardizing the mission," is Allura's answer. It's not like it's false.

Keith and Pidge look at each other for a second—and God, when had they become such pals? The night before?

"Okay," Keith concedes in the end. "There are more guards than before. We can't sneak in by avoiding them completely."

"But we can incapacitate them for a while, right?" Hunk asks, smiling. They are in one of the deepest areas of the base and even if he doesn't normally care about this kind of thing, he can't help but stare at the platinum walls that surround them. This is the heavily secured part of the facility, and they might be way over their head.

"Lance, we’ll have to stop them with our bending,” Pidge says, looking at him. "Hunk doesn’t have anything to bend and Allura and Keith are non-benders.”

"I can take care of myself just fine," Keith tells them, removing the dagger he has as a weapon from his trousers.

"Leave the fight to the bending experts," Lance interrupts and smirks a little at Keith’s expression. He knows it might be a little petty, but at the same time they are here because _he_ betrayed them all, so he can suck it up.

Keith doesn't seem convinced, but there are no other suggestions and he smiles.

Allura hasn't said anything else but as always they don't have the time to make sure to take her feelings into consideration in this. They have a plan, one made by someone who is probably twelve, but they follow Pidge's lead and comply quickly.

Lance uncaps his flask and lets the water flow, slowly. It’s good to feel a modicum of control. It always feels strange, here in the Earth Nation, surrounded by all these rocks and not enough water. If he could he would go back to the South in a second.

He inhales and exhales, centering himself. He has to do this right or their entire plan will fail. It is almost too much, but he can’t back down now.

He brings his arms back in a fluid movement and the water follows him. It’s not the time to get nervous, he has this. He can do this.

He has to.

Lance waits for the others to nod before jumping out of the cover and pushing his arms forward, launching the water towards their enemy. He smiles, proud, but he realizes soon that the pressure isn’t enough.

The water attacks the guard on the right but it doesn’t knock him down and Lance loses his balance and control over his bending. The water flops down at the guard's’ feet and _shit_.

Keith runs past him, dagger in hand, and he has a second to see that the first guard has been hit in the face by a metal plate. Because Lance is a screw up and Pidge is perfect.

“What are you doing?” Allura yells, frustrated, and he doesn’t know what to answer her. Doesn’t know how to make it better. She launches forward, with a decisiveness he admires.

They need to incapacitate both of the guards as quickly as possible, before others join them and it becomes a fight they can’t win.

Lance looks at Keith, who dodges a burst of fire and tries to stab the guard in the stomach. Looks at Allura, who seem extremely strong and moves quickly, almost like a chi blocker. Pidge seems to be trying to bend another of the metal plates in the walls but he’s tired, after all he has been bending nonstop this entire time. Maybe they can win, but not fast enough.

So he does the only thing he can think of. He can feel the water at the guards’ feet, can sense it as if it was another part of him. He brings a foot back, and an arm forward, he raises his arm over his head and stops for a second before pressing his palms together and bringing them towards his torso.

The water freezes at the guards’ feet, following his command.

The first guard slips while he tries to jump and firebend from his feet. The second loses his footing while he tries to avoid being stabbed. They fall to the ground, surprised.

It is over quickly as Allura and Keith take full advantage of their enemies’ mistakes and strike with quick and deadly accuracy.

When both the guards are on the ground they can all breath again.

He closes his eyes, tries to calm himself. He has done it. He feels Hunk’s hand on his back, a comfort and a silent congratulation.

“Good job, Lance!” Pidge says, smiling, and Lance smiles as well.

“I…” he tries, unsure of what he’s going to say. Apologize? But before he can Allura looks at them, and she doesn’t look happy—this is still not the plan she wanted—but her expression is softer now. Lance doesn’t know how old she is, but he thinks that she looks older than she probably is with the tension and the anger that cloud her face every moment.

“You were nervous, but you recovered. That’s what’s important,” she reassures him and Lance nods, relieved. She seems to be used to comforting people after battle.

“His stupid mistake cost us time,” Keith says immediately and yep, _hackles up_ , Lance is going to fucking _murder him_. It’s not that Lance doesn’t know that he fucked up, but he doesn’t see Keith bringing much to the mix if not _betrayal_.

He wants to scream, wants to make him eat his words, show that he’s not useless, but Hunk catches his eyes and stops him. They have more important things to think about.

Okay, _right now_ Lance is going to kick ass, _later_ he’s going to yell at Mullet Head for hours. He picks up the water, lets it flow back into his flask and smiles, teasingly. “We could already be moving if you’re done with your bitching.”

He can be professional, but riling up that asshole is more fun.

Keith looks like he’s almost ready to kill him—which, to be honest, is a little unsettling, seeing he still has a bloody knife in his hand—but Pidge starts to move and it’s like a spell has been broken.

They run towards the door, moving quickly.

“Someone knows the way, right?” Lance asks, because he’s just following them. For all he knows they are going towards the cafeteria.

“Keith escaped from here, remember?” Pidge tells him and Lance makes a face. _Keith_ , right.

“But like, okay,” Hunk says, “not like it isn’t awesome that you escaped. But I… thought there would be more guards. I mean you said they have more security now but…”

It’s a valid point to make. Even with the added security, they’ve run into just two guards—and some they have avoided along the way, but still not enough. It wouldn’t seem so difficult to plan an escape, especially with the added numbers the prisoners have.

“There’s no reason. Usually the prisoners are in no shape to do anything,” Keith answers. It’s not a comforting thought, especially because they are trying to save them. If they aren’t able to walk, what will they do?

“You were,” Allura says, and he can read the accusation in her tone. They all can. Seems like someone is going to keep a grudge. Lance approves.

“Yes. But I’m a special case,” he grumbles, as they reach the end of the corridor.

There is another door there, pure platinum, but it is designed to be opened from the outside so they push a little and it opens quickly.

What they see is chilling. Lance hadn’t really thought about this before, how the firebenders kept their prisoners, but the moment they step inside the actual prison he wants to hurl. He can hear Hunk trying to control himself, and for once he doesn’t judge him.

The air is still with fear, blood, and sweat. There is an open area in the middle and little cells all over the room. It feels claustrophobic.

“You…” someone says and they all look at one of the cages, where one of the men is looking straight at Keith.

“I’m here for Shiro,” Keith says immediately. “We’ll free you all but… is Shiro here?” There is some type of quiet desperation in his tone. It’s the first time he hasn’t sounded angry or condescending. He sounds scared.

“And Matt and Sam Holt!” Pidge pipes up quickly. “They… they’re my family, are they…”

But the prisoner snarls, interrupting him. “Why should I tell you anything?” he says, and his voice is rough and angry. He looks hurt, now that he notices, and he’s hardly staying upright.

“I know you hate me, but…” Keith says, advancing. “Shiro doesn’t deserve this. I… _for Shiro._ ” He really seems desperate. It’s not difficult to see that this _Shiro_ has to be the friend that sacrificed himself for Keith, but this entire discussion is strange.

Shouldn’t the prisoner be jumping at the idea of being rescued?

“Yeah, heard it before. Even the time before. You left us here,” the prisoners almost yells.

Everyone looks at Keith now, who looks like he doesn’t know what to do. Some of the pieces are starting to make more sense, now. And even Pidge now seems to be angry.

If what this prisoner is saying it’s true, Keith had the possibility of freeing them all, maybe even Pidge’s family, and passed it up… he gets why they are angry.

“We couldn’t have made it. I would have… we would have come back. I’m back now,” Keith says, low.

“It’s useless discussing it with him,” someone else says, a woman looking at them from another cell. “He’s one of _them._ ”

Lance looks at Hunk in confusion and his friend is just as lost as him, thankfully. This whole thing seems to be going even more south than before. Allura is silent, looking around the room.

The first prisoner just shakes his head. “Matt Holt was here. He was transferred along with a lot of others when _he_ escaped,” he reveals in the end. “I don’t know your father, but Matt talked about him. Sorry.”

Pidge looks down and Lance can see the way he’s clenching his fist. It mustn’t be easy, being so close and yet so far away. He… he doesn’t know what he would do.

“And…” Keith starts, but the woman answers before he can finish.

“Upstairs,” she says, and her voice betrays a little bit of fear. “For what it’s worth... I’m sorry.”

Uh? Isn’t that good? This Shiro is here, right? And alive? Before they can really register anything else an alarm starts to sound, jarring to their ears, and two guards enter the room from the door they just entered. Lance curses and takes his hand to his flask, but he knows he won’t be fast enough.

It's at that point that Keith rushes forward and punches one of the guards. With his _flaming fist._

Oh, _shit._ Mullet Head is _a firebender_.

He sees Hunk and Pidge take a step back, Allura hunkering down for a fight, but no one does anything while Keith fights and defeats two firebenders all on his own. Two of his _comrades_.

He knew he couldn’t trust him. He _knew_.

They should all always listen to Lance.

 

 

 

Keith has known since the beginning that it was desperate. It's not like he's stupid, he knew that the chances that Shiro was safe and sound were near zero, and hoping had been more like a fool errand than anything else. And yet he hoped, and now he feels like everything has just fallen over.

Shiro is _upstairs_ and had probably been there since the day their foolish and reckless escape had failed. If only Keith had been better, if only he had stayed when Shiro had told him to go.

Maybe he would be dead as well, that’s a possibility, but maybe he could have shielded Shiro from the worst of it.

Now... well…

The alarm sounds distant to his ears. Everything that's happening around him seems unfocused, like a wall that's separating him from everything else. His ears are ringing but it's not the alarm. It's more like a scream.

When the guards enter the room he almost doesn’t notice them. Almost. Everything seems distant, hazy, like a memory, but he’s angry, furious ( ~~scared~~ ). So he looks at them, sees them and himself reflected in them and he doesn’t know what happens.

He feels his body react without even realizing he's doing it. The fire burns inside of him, inexorable, and he can’t stop it when it engulfs his fist. It feels good to let go finally, after months he had hidden in plain sight, always aware of his surrounding, always aware that if someone had found out who he was, what he was, he would have probably been killed on the spot.

The first guard doesn't expect his attack, doesn't expect to fight another firebender so he uses that to his advantage and he burns him before the other can even realize what's happening. The second one tries to react, sends a burst of flame his way, but Keith moves his hand in a circular motion, manipulating the other's fire and redirecting it back. It feels poetic when the fire burns the other's face, it feels right.

It's over quickly. He has always been better than them, his bending always more refined, stronger. He remembers them too, from shared patrols and the way they had sneered at Shiro when they saw him for the first time. He is happy he had the opportunity to make such fools pay.

He has almost forgotten about the other people in the room. His head is still ringing, his fists still wanting to fight. Every part of him wants revenge and he needs to move.

"You're a fucking firebender?" Lance screams behind him and Keith has to stop himself from attacking him. He's still too wired, too hurt.

Shiro is probably dead. And if he isn't? He has seen his fair share of people coming back from _upstairs_ a shell of themselves.

He doesn't want that to be Shiro. Doesn't even know what of the two options is the best one, if he's being honest.

"I need to find Shiro," is what he says, because Lance accusation doesn't even merit an answer. He doesn't have time to scream at him, he has to go.

No one says anything for a second and Keith counts his blessings. At least until he hears someone move behind him.

He dodges Allura's attack at the last second and almost curses. He has seen her fighting before, when they had taken down those two guards, and she's good. Trained.

Keith doesn't want to fight but he will.

Pidge had asked him how far he was willing to go, but Keith committed to this almost a year ago, when Shiro had become more than one of the prisoners to him.

If he needs to kill Allura to reach Shiro he will and he won't regret it. He abandoned him once before, he won't do it again.

He blocks one of Allura’s punches and tries, with all he has, to make her listen. "Every cell has a lock, you break that, you free them all and..." he tells her, but Allura frees herself and attacks again.

"You let me deviate from my mission. And now I discover you are a firebender? Probably one of their loyal soldiers!"

He gets how she has reached this conclusion, knows that it look suspicious, but Keith doesn't have the time to reassure her, or explain.

"One of the guards might even have the keys!" he says, dodging another attack. "I have to go," he repeats, hoping that maybe this time she will listen.

"Let him go," says the second prisoner, the woman, and he doesn't remember her name. Something with an S? "I understand, I really do, but... Shiro deserves to be out of here."

Keith agrees. It's this desire to save him that has landed them in this situation, in a way. Keith had been so focused on saving Shiro that he hadn't even prepared and the one to have paid the price of his incompetence, of his hastiness, had been Shiro. He needs to make it right now, in whatever way he can. He owes Shiro at least that much.

Allura hesitates a second but it's Pidge that makes everything move along, breaking one of the locks.

He hasn't looked straight at Keith since he showed his true form, and Keith doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t blame any of them for their reactions.

"I'm sorry, we're just going to let him go? He might be a spy!" Lance sputters, outraged than no one seemed to be willing to stop him now. Keith is glad, he doesn't want to hurt them.

When it seems like no one will stop him, Keith starts running. There is a second door at the end of the prisoners’ area, one that leads to a stairwell and the infamous _upstairs_ , the place where Haggar makes her little experiments.

There are some guards waiting for him, on the other side of the door, but Keith feels like his body is moving on its own, freely and deadly. Rage and desperation fueling his flames, making them as strong as he needs. He disposes of them quickly, without too much noise.

Even in tragedy there seems to be something to look forward to.

He reaches the second floor quickly and after that he looks into every single room: they are all empty and he doesn’t want to stop and analyze everything that he’s seeing but at the same time he can’t help himself: there are rooms, like cells, but without bars, no light in sight. They feel like torture chambers more than anything else, and the slabs in the middle of them have chains, heavy and in platinum. Even when he had been a guard he had never been able to come up here, never in the inner circle. He guesses they were right in not trusting him.

When he reaches the last one he doesn’t know what to expect. He opens it carefully and it is immediately clear that it’s not empty. There is someone strapped to the table and for a second, for a mere second, he hopes.

It’s a stupid thing to do, but he can’t stop himself and he lets himself feel, for a second. He relaxes and advances, trying to see who it is. It’s clear that it’s Shiro, Keith could recognize him everywhere, but at the same time he’s different.

Shiro is held to the table by some cuffs on his wrists and on his feet. He looks paler, smaller, that the last time they had seen each other. He also looks more tired. Keith notices immediately that he's not as strong as he used to be, and his hair has a little patch of white where before it had been only black. His stump is still there, of course, and Keith almost reaches for it.

“Shiro,” he whispers, moving quickly to his side. His chest is moving slowly, too slowly, and Keith tries not to think about it too hard. He’s alive, he’s breathing. For now it has to be enough.

He tries to memorize every change, every detail he can in the two seconds he allows himself. He doesn't know this Shiro, doesn’t know what has happened to him, how it has changed him, but it doesn’t really matter. He melts the metal on the other's cuff, making sure to be gentle and burn Shiro’s skin as little as possible.

He hoists him up, passing Shiro’s only arm over his shoulders, so that he can drag him around and still be functional.

From where he is he can’t hear any sound and it’s impossible to know if the others are still freeing the prisoners or if they have gone ahead. He wonders if he can find a way to make them help him, help Shiro. They have to find somewhere where Shiro can recuperate, maybe with a Healer that can do something for his injuries. He doesn’t care if they leave him here, at this point taking Shiro to safety is his priority.

He can only think of Shiro and the way he has trouble breathing, the way he's not responding even when Keith is manhandling him back down the all.

Keith doesn't know what they have done to him, doesn't really want to think about what could be wrong with him. He's scared, but for the first time in months he thinks that maybe he has the power to fix his mistakes.

He might have left Shiro here, to be tortured for months, but he's saving him. At least this he can do.

Thankfully no one intercepts them on the way back to the prison and, when they arrive, only a couple of prisoners are still in their cells and the rest have amassed at the door, keeping it locked.

On the other side of the corridor a little army has probably formed, to block the only way out of the prison. The strategy will probably be to stay on the other side of the corridor and launch fire attacks at them. In the tight space it will be an easy victory for them. It's a strategy he has listened to many times in his days as a guard.

But they don't know he's here.

When he reaches the others, everyone looks at Shiro. He can see the way they are assessing him, trying to understand why Keith has done so much, what's special about him. He almost wants to laugh, but he doesn't want to explain.

"There will be hell on the other side of that door," he says, because he needs their help and the only way he can think of obtaining it is to help them first.

"Well, thank you, traitor, we would have never realized it without your help," Lance says, sarcasm dripping out of his every word. Keith sighs, because he knows he can't use logic with Lance, and at the same time he knows that he has lost Allura. She had fought him with rage in her blows and it’s not something he can work with in the five minutes they have.

So right now the only chances he has are Pidge and Hunk. Pidge is the one that uses logic more of the two, but at the same time, his family has been kidnapped by firebenders. He probably has a healthy dislike for his kind.

That leaves Hunk.

He likes Hunk, but he seems to be more controlled by his emotion than anything else and Keith has never been good at _emotions_. Hell, Shiro is probably the perfect example for this.

At the same time he realizes that he doesn't have any other choice and he has already fucked this up enough.

"I can help," he says, looking Hunk in the eye. "I can absorb their attacks, for a little while, create a barrier."

"Or maybe you can give us up the moment we step out of there!" Lance says, and he positions himself between Keith and Hunk, as if to shield his friend.

"I've been helping you all this time!" Keith explodes, because every minute they waste arguing it gives Zarkon's soldier more time to regroup and think of a solid strategy to keep them here.

They have numbers on their side, but only if they manage to go beyond the platinum corridor and the only ones that can really help are Keith and Lance (and Lance's bending doesn't seem to be reliable enough).

"No. You've been looking out for your own interests," Allura pipes up and she advances slowly, dangerously. Keith makes sure he has a good handle on Shiro, ensuring he can shield him if it comes to that.

He doesn't think that the other prisoners will let them _hurt_ Shiro, but he can't know. He doesn't want to risk it.

"You would sell us all out to save your friend. You've already done it from what I understand."

She... she isn't wrong. It's not something Keith has a way to refute, after all the prisoners around them can corroborate that story. But right now there is no other way to get out of here than having them trust him.

He has to do it, not for himself, but for Shiro. It's the only thing that matters.

"I.... he needs help. I wouldn't even know where to bring him," he says, looking at Hunk again, hoping that maybe he can make him understand. "That's the only way to get out of here. Even if I wanted to bargain, they wouldn't let me take him away. He... he was experimented on. I don't know what those do, but no one ever comes back from that the same."

He can see everyone looking at each other, Allura trying to understand if he's telling the truth. Shay, one of the two prisoners they have talked with before, nods in his direction. He doesn't know if some of her friends have been taken away. They usually take the strongest, the ones that seem to be able to withstand the most.

Shiro had been on their radar long before their failure of an escape.

"We need to find a way out and we don't have a better idea," Hunk intercedes. He doesn't sound completely on board, but all Keith needs is a chance, nothing more than that.

"And he’s killed like three guards since we've been here," Pidge says as well, with a little sigh.

Keith can tell that he's not going to win any popularity contests with anyone of them, but he doesn't care.

"Shiro wouldn't leave you here," he hisses to the prisoners, because they all looked up to Shiro at one point. He had been respected among them, and Keith will use every single weapon he has. He doesn't care.

Allura and Lance don't seem to be wavering, but at this point it's clear they are outnumbered. And Keith can breathe a little easier.

He advances towards Hunk, but before he can take two steps both Allura and Lance stop him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lance asks, his face mere inches from Keith's.

"I want Hunk to take care of Shiro. He's the one I trust the most here," he says, because he's sure that at least Shiro will be taken care of. Hunk doesn't seem the type to leave someone behind.

Hunk looks surprised for a moment, and when Lance doesn't seem to want to move, it's Hunk that takes a step forward.

"Okay. I'll make sure nothing happens to him," he says and Keith nods, transferring Shiro (who is still unconscious, this isn't good) to Hunk's shoulders.

"I'm coming with you," Lance says, looking at him with distrust. Keith doesn't care. Honestly, having Lance as a back-up might be good. Even if the waterbender hasn't shown the best control.

So they push past the prisoners and towards the corridor. Keith tries to avoid the others' eyes, because he knows what he will see there, and he doesn't have the time to care or to face them.

He isn't proud of what he has done in his life and, in the end, the excuse that he had known nothing else seems flimsy even to his own ears.

Right now he can't think about any of that, however, he has a mission to complete. He doesn't know what they will do once they are out of here. Maybe he could convince them to take care of Shiro, but he isn't sure that they would let Keith follow them.

The right thing _would_ be to leave Shiro with them, probably, but the moment the thought crosses his mind he also feels the need to go back to the unconscious body and flee.

Before anything they need to get away from this place and then he will think of a way out of this mess. It won't be easy, but he is nothing if not a survivor.

"I'm keeping an eye on you," Lance informs him, like Keith has missed the memo. He hasn't.

"Just don't get in my way," he replies angrily.

The moment they step outside the door Keith can feel the way the entire room heats and he pushes his arms in front of him, moving them in a circular motion, slowly but steadily, forming a circle in front of them.

The first flame gets absorbed easily and Keith moves a step at a time. It's obvious that there is more than one bender on the other side of the corridor and it takes a while but Keith can feel his force leave him bit after bit, step after step.

He has never been particularly good at blocking fire, his style veering more towards combat and attack. But there is no other way and he has to do it. _He has to_.

Keith is panting, he can feel it, and his arms are getting tired too fast. They won't make it to the end of the tunnel, he knows.

"Go back," he tells Lance, because he might hate the prick, but it's mostly envy and annoyance. He doesn't want to be the reason why this little kid dies, in the end. He has to feel guilty for too many things.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Lance huffs, and Keith almost growls at him.

"I can't do this. They’re stronger than I thought," he says, and he hopes it's enough. He doesn't have the strength to bring them back, the only thing he can do is stay here and keep it up until Lance is safe.

The other stays silent for a second before sighing. "That's the reason why you bring down the whole team dynamic. By being a firebender, a traitor, and an idiot.” If he had the strength Keith would tell him to fuck off, but all he can do is grind his teeth.

Then Lance looks down the path and back at Keith. "Just. Give me one minute. You can do that?" he asks and Keith nods. He gives it more or less a minute before he collapses.

Lance turns back but Keith keeps it up.

Now that he's alone he could push forward and try and eliminate as much as he can. Not many, since he thinks he's almost out of strength, but enough to maybe make it better for the others.

That's when he hears the step returning. He looks back and Pidge and Lance are running towards him.

"What the hell are you doing?" he can't help but ask and Lance just arches an eyebrow.

"Saving the situation," he answers before uncapping his flask.

"I can feel it. Not much but... enough," Pidge tells them and Keith has a moment of confusion before he figures it out.

The entire corridor is made of platinum, as well as the door on either side, but outside of it there is metal. And if Pidge is near enough to sense it, he can bend it.

"See?" Lance tells them with a grin. "Saving the mission. Team Lance is rocking this secret spy thing."

"Calm down, secret dork," Pidge replies, but he's smiling and he plants his feet firmly into the ground. His stance is rigid, and he's focusing.

"I have to be a little closer to really do anything," he tells them and both he and Lance nod.

Keith pushes a little forward, a step, two, three, and when he thinks he might be giving out Pidge shouts "Now!" and he can feel the pressure from the heat ease on his shield.

He drops it and Lance, who has uncapped his flask at some point, sends a burst of water from behind him.

Keith looks up and they are near the end of the corridor: there are three firebenders that are imprisoned in the walls by metal chords and another two, drenched in water.

He pushes forward in an instant, drawing his knife and taking down the two guards before they can recover from Lance's attack.

When it's over he looks down at his former colleagues and sighs.

Only five? Where is everyone?

"Okay, call everyone," Pidge tells Lance, before joining Keith in the room. He looks around and makes sure that the guards he has imprisoned aren't going to escape.

For a second Keith wonders if he should say something, if maybe Pidge is waiting for him to tell him something, but at the same time there is nothing that Keith could say that it would make this better.

He stays silent.

 

 

 

Allura can't believe how much of a mess this mission has become.

She can admit that, in the end, she's glad she let herself be convinced to help the prisoners, that she feels a little bit more human now. But this is not a war to be fought with a handful of prisoners that look so skinny that a violent burst of wind might send them flying.

They are letting them get away with the quintessence, she knows, and the defeat weighs heavily on her shoulder, like another proof that she's not going to be able to do this.

There are too many expectations she has to meet and she won't be able to.

She can't believe she has traveled with a firebender for two days. She can't believe she had let herself be fooled, be so trusting when she had thought that a common trauma and hatred had united them.

Allura looks at the man on Hunk's shoulder and wonders who he is and why he is important enough to have a firebender risk so much for him. She's not sure she wants to know.

Fear and hatred are part of her now, consuming her like a poison from the inside out. They have planted the seed, gave it water to grow and fester, and now she doesn't know how else to live.

Lance returns, all smiles, and tells them the way is clear. She can see the apprehension on everyone's faces and she can't fault them. It feels wrong following a firebender, whatever the circumstances.

So she does what she can and she moves first, and hopes everyone else will just follow.

When she looks back she sees them behind her, a little farther that she would have liked, but it's something.

In the next room Keith and Pidge are standing silently. The moment they see them Keith passes them all to reach Hunk and take Shiro from him.

"I can help you, if you want," Hunk tells the other but Keith just shakes his head and holds Shiro as firmly as he can.

"I can do it," he says and Allura has to look away, because she still doesn't know what to feel about this. Can't get her head around it. In her experience all the firebenders she has encountered have been evil, mindless machines marching to Zarkon’s drum. She doesn’t know what to do with Keith.

"I think it would be better to exit from around here," Pidge tells them. "There are more of us and maybe if someone can help me..."

"I'm going to see if I can retrieve some quintessence," Allura interrupts them, because she has to try, even if it's hopeless. Even if....

"They probably secured it the moment they understood there was somewhere here, it's...." Pidge starts but Allura just shakes her head. She has to try, why can't anyone understand at least that?

"I know it was important, but..." Lance tries but Allura doesn't want to listen to them. Doesn't care about logic or reason. If she doesn't even make an attempt, what does it say about her resolve?

"There will be more quintessence," Hunk says. His voice is kind, but it grates on her nerves even more.

It had taken a year to track a transfer correctly, one year to find people she could trust enough to believe their information. They _don't understand_.

"I can help you." It's Keith this time, and he looks resolute. "I know a little bit about how the transport works. I've read some of the reports. I don't have updated information, but I have friends. And I can find information easily."

Allura looks at him and she hopes her distrust and hatred is clear enough in her face. She can't even think about letting a firebender help, trust him with something as important as this.

"Shut up! We don't trust you," Lance says, advancing towards Keith.

He's right, she doesn't, but at the same time... she's not naive enough to think that she will find something if she goes to the cargo bay now. It's probably the reason why there aren't as many guards as there should be. All of them are busy making sure the quintessence is safe.

She doesn't trust Keith, obviously, but at the same time she knows a desperate man when she sees one and in all this time the only thing she has been able to pick up from Keith is that he _is_ desperate. And the key is the unconscious man on his shoulder.

Still, can she really give up so easily?

The answer comes quickly, and not from her, but from the sound of soldiers approaching their location. There are too many of them and they don't have the numbers or the strength to fight them. Even if she was to fight at her full potential.

"Fine, let's go," she says and all the metalbender surround Pidge to help him create a tunnel. They all go inside when it's ready and the metalbenders close it behind them. They are safe.

Keith and some of the weaker prisoners are in the rear while they travel ahead as far as they can, but there shouldn't be any risks.

They have freed at least fifty people and it should be enough to make her guilt silent, to give her a little bit of peace. But it isn't.

"What will we do once we're out of here?" someone asks and she looks behind her, curious as to who spoke. There are a lot of people that have spent almost all of their life incarcerated, that had no family and no one to get back to.

She wonders if maybe they will get back to Ba Sing Se and decide to have nothing to do with the resistance, but she hopes they decide to fight. Do something.

"I'm sure there will be a place for you if you reach Ba Sing Se. The Earth Kingdom is the only one that has resisted Zarkon. It's a place where you can be free," she tells them, and she knows she is exaggerating. Since the invasion Ba Sing Se has been a place of chaos, sadness and fear.

She has said the truth, it’s the only place where they can go, but it won't be easy.

Her answer seems to appease everyone and she's glad that she could at least do this for them.

"We'll go home, I think," Hunk says, looking at Lance. "If it's still standing."

Pidge doesn't say anything, but it's Keith that breaks the silence from the back.

"I need to find someone to look at Shiro," he says. His voice is strained with fatigue, but he hasn't slowed down once.

Now that he mentions it, it's not a good thing the unconscious man hasn't moved at all in all this time. He's probably still breathing, or Keith would be freaking out, but he's not okay.

There is a second of hesitation before Lance says, "I can do a little bit of healing. When we get out of here I can take a look."

It surprises almost everyone and Lance grits his teeth. "Look I'm not doing it for you," he explains. "I recognize him. Takashi Shirogane, he's a legend. One of the best the resistance had to offer," he says, shrugging.

Allura doesn't know him, but she can see recognition in the eyes of many of the others.

"I..." Keith starts, but then he stops and just exhales. "Thanks."

"Yeah, whatever," Lance replies in a huff and everyone starts walking again. She can't let Keith disappear, she needs him. Right now he's the only lead she has to intercept another wave of quintessence.

And, as terrible as it may sound, this Shiro is the first person to withstand one of Zarkon's experiments and survive and he might be the piece of the puzzle she missed.

She has to keep an eye on them.

"I have somewhere we can stop. It's nearer than Ba Sing Se. It's small so not everyone will be able to come but..." She sighs and looks at the team she had assembled so hastily. "You could come. Let Shiro recuperate there."

They think about it for a second and she fears they might refuse, but each one of them nods and Allura responds in kind.

Well, there's that.

 

 

 

Consciousness comes slowly and for a second Shiro isn't sure if he even wants to wake up.

Will he be in Haggar's laboratory? Or maybe in his cell? Lately he doesn't think he has been anywhere else. He's not even sure when the last time he has eaten was.

He feels tired and even though he's just woken up, he would love to go back to sleep. Ignore everything for a little while longer.

The first thing that makes him think that there's something wrong is the sound of wind. He hasn't heard wind in well over a year. There aren't many drafts in a secure platinum prison.

He's not sure he wants to open his eyes; he knows he's not lying on the cold slab of Haggar's laboratory, but he's not even on the cot in his cell. It is entirely too comfortable for that.

It speaks volumes about his life that when he realizes that he's probably in some different location it doesn't make him relax but just tense further.

Has Haggar brought him somewhere else? Has she finally found the way to reverse what she has done? He doesn't know.

Shiro hasn't used his bending in so long, hasn't felt the pull of earth in such a long time, that he feels he's probably justified for not noticing—after all, he had almost started to forget how it felt—but he's surrounded by earth, he can feel it outside, just a little bit out of reach, in a little rock near him. If he wanted he could reach and just _pull_.

He's tempted, just to see how it feels, like an itch in your muscles, but it would be irresponsible since he's not really sure where he is.

It's at that point that he hears voices that are getting more and more agitated by the second. There are people fighting, that is obvious, but he doesn't know why or who it is.

He wants to think that maybe they could be allies, but he stopped hoping for rescue months ago.

"And whose fault was that?" one of the voices says, with such ire that for a second he almost grimaces.

"If there was even one chance I could find my family I was going to take it!" someone else screams, and this voice sounds less angry, more hysterical. Mostly disappointed.

"I'm not trying to blame someone, I just..." someone, a woman, says, her voice a little quieter than the others, like she's trying to remain calm even in these circumstances.

"Well _I_ am! And I say it's his fault!" the first voices pipes in again. Shiro can't understand what's happening.

He doesn't know where he is, if he can trust these strange voices. Something is wrong, it is clear, but he doesn't know what.

And then someone says, "I got you out of there!" and Shiro opens his eyes in a second, too shocked to remember that letting his guard down isn't the best idea. He _knows_ that voice.

He can't forget that voice.

Shiro moves and he's on his feet in a second, instincts taking over and he would have gone for the door if his legs hadn't given out under him immediately.

He realizes now that he's tired, incredibly tired, and that his muscles are screaming in pain. He hasn't walked in a month, his muscles are stiff with disuse, but he's sure it should be even worse. Someone has healed him with some healbending; there must be a waterbender near.

At that moment the door of the room opens and what he sees is a ragged Keith, tired and worried, probably called by the noise he made when he fell to the floor.

Shiro doesn't care.

He hadn't really thought he would see Keith again, not after that disastrous escape. He had been sure he wouldn't have seen anyone ever again, dead as a result of one of Haggar’s experiments.

He takes a second to drink Keith in: he hasn't changed much in these months. He's thinner, if that's even possible, and his clothes are rumpled and ruined, unlike the uniform he had always worn in the camp.

He looks good, but, most importantly, he looks _alive_.

"[Keith?](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002862530/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith)" he says, because he still can't believe this, doesn't really know how to react. Should he say something? Should he...

Before he can do anything, however, there are other people entering the room behind Keith and one of them rushes to his side, alarmed.

"You tried to get up? No, dude, your muscles are absolutely not ready for that. Hunk, give me a hand," one says, crouching in front of him. Another one, Hunk, rushes forward and tries to make him rise. Shiro would like to help, but he still feels like he has woken up in an alternative reality so he might need a second.

"Okay, uhm, a little bit of help would be welcome. You're heavy," Hunk says, and Shiro grimaces for a second and nods, trying to put as much pressure as he can on his own legs.

It's a bit of a struggle but soon he's seated on the bed—and it _is_ a bed, with a pillow and everything—and he can finally focus on Keith again.

"What...?" he tries, but there are so many questions swarming his mind. So many things that don't make sense and he doesn't know where to start.

"I've healed some of your injuries," the first boy says, looking at him, "but not everything. I would need some spiritual water to do a complete job because, man, you were messed up."

"Lance!" Hunk hisses, looking between Shiro and the waterbender, _Lance,_ with a mixture of exasperation and... fondness?

"What? It's the truth! I don't think he doesn't know that he was tortured!" The waterbender replies and it is... refreshing in a way. He's right, after all, he remembers every second and he won't ever forget.

He wants to listen to what Lance is saying, and he should, but at the same time his eyes wander without him even realizing and, when he looks up, Keith is still looking at him.

Their eyes meet and they don't avert them.

Keith has bags under his eyes, but they are still as vibrant as he remembered. He had thought of them in these months, as a way to keep himself sane. When the pain had been too much, when he had thought of just giving up, he had thought of the guard that had been ready to give up his life for him. And it had made it a little bit better.

"How?" is the only thing he can ask in the end, trying to understand. The last thing he remembers is the same thing he remembers for the last month or so: Haggar in front of him and pain. He has no idea how he got out of the prison, how Keith even managed.

"I told you I would come back," Keith says, like he's hurt that Shiro hadn't believed him. Which... he hadn't. Not because he hadn't believed Keith would have wanted to, but what were the possibilities?

"Yeah, screwing up the whole plan," Lance mutters and Shiro looks at him, confused, while Keith almost hisses like a cat.

"Shut up, Lance," he says but Shiro is intrigued. He looks around finally, at the whole room but mostly at the others around. Beside Keith, Lance, and Hunk, there is a woman, standing tall behind them all, keeping her distance, but interested in what's happening and then there is a guy, _probably_ , that looks... familiar.

He doesn't know why, but while he can tell this isn't the first time he has seen him, he can't remember who he is. His memory has been scrambled lately, but it feels like he should know this, like it's just a little out of reach, but still in his grasp.

And then it clicks. "Matt!" he says, surprised. But no, it's not Matt. He's smaller, he looks better than Matt ever did. Matt and he had been in adjacent cells and sometimes they had gone the whole night talking about anything they could, when the nightmares were too much and nothing else seemed important.

So it takes him a second to understand who he has in front of him, but he knows for certain, remembers the stories, the fond look on Matt's face.

"No," he corrects himself. "Katie, right?" he asks, because maybe he's wrong, maybe this person just resembles Matt out of coincidence and he's just making this awkward. Maybe he just wants to see his friend again and he's imagining everything.

But then the other nods, and then nods again and then it's like she—because it's a she, Matt had always talked about his sister—can't stop.

"You really knew him. You..." she starts, and he can recognize the panic in her voice, the high pitch it takes just before someone falls completely. He wants to reach out to her, give whatever comfort he can, but he's not sure he can really move.

"Okay, what's going on?" Lance asks, looking between Shiro and Katie. "You said your name was Pidge!"

He sees Katie grimace and then nod, rebuilding whatever walls she has erected.

"Yes. Because that's my name. Now." she replies, looking at Shiro and then at everyone else. "When my father and brother were captured I tried enlisting in some expeditions but they didn't want a kid with them, especially a girl. Pricks," she mutters, under her breath. "I come from a village in the eastern part of the Earth Kingdom. There was a lot of patriarchal shit going on, okay? And I... I needed to search for them!"

Everyone is looking at Katie... Pidge now, and Shiro is too tired to try and understand what everyone is thinking. It feels strange, having people to talk to again. His voice used for nothing but screams for the longest time.

"So I cut my hair," Pidge continues, "and then chose a fake name. When the last expedition was a failure I continued on my own. So yeah. Pidge _is_ my name." It's the finality and certainty in her tone that makes everyone nod, afraid to contradict her.

Matt had never been like that. He was intelligent and a strong bender, but he had been more frail in a way. It feels like Pidge is forged in metal.

"I..." He tries to remember, but it's all hazy in his mind, "I don't remember what happened to Matt. Is he here, too?" he asks, but he already knows the answer by looking at Pidge's reaction.

"He wasn't with the other prisoners," Keith says, and he would seem distant to anyone who didn't really know him, like he didn't really care. Shiro can see all his guilt, all his regret, as plain as snow. "They said he was transferred after.... yeah"

_Oh_. He tries to remember, but he can't. He honestly doesn't know if he even saw Matt again or if Haggar had brought him directly to her laboratory, it feels like it.

"I'm sorry. I don't remember," he says, honestly, and Pidge nods, but it's obvious she's disappointed. He would like to give her more, but he just can't.

"Do you remember what they were doing to you?" someone says and Shiro looks up at the woman in the back, the only one he doesn't know the name of. She's stern, but her stance feels rigid more out of fear than anything else.

"He just woke up!" Keith snarls, outraged on his behalf, but Shiro knows that he's important now. The first person to see Haggar's torture and survive to tell the tale. He doesn't know if he could consider himself lucky.

"I do," he says, anyway, because it's important, because someone has to try and stop them. "They're... removing bending from people."

He knows that he's saying something horrible. He can see the shock and fear in the other's eyes, mixed with disbelief. Shiro wouldn't have believed it either if he hadn't been there to see, to feel.

"What do you mean?" the woman asks, advancing a little, almost without realizing it. It's important to her, even if he's not sure why.

"I... I don't know the specifics. I just know that they're trying to find a way to remove someone’s bending and then... reverse it, I think?" he says, frowning. It makes no sense when he says it like that, but it is what she had been doing. Every day.

"Reverse it?" Hunk asks and his voice is hoarse, scared. Who can blame him?

"Reopen the connection. I... it's what she was working on recently," he whispers, because he knows it's a confession more than anything else. Haggar had been working on him, on a way to reverse it. It's not difficult adding it up.

"She took away your bending?" Keith asks, and his voice is angry, angrier Shiro has ever seen him.

Shiro only nods. "I can't metalbend anymore," he says. It had been a gruesome discovery, he remembers clearly, the moment she had put a chunk of metal in the room and then dared him to overpower her, to escape.

He had tried so hard to make the metal move, but every position he had known, every trick he had learned in his years had been useless. The metal had stayed there, mocking him and his pain.

Haggar's laugh will haunt him to his dying day.

"I don't think she has perfected it. She hasn't taken my earthbending, just... just a technique," he says, because those are the only thoughts that have been on his mind in the rare moment of clarity between pain and sleep.

"And now she was trying to give it back to you?" Pidge asks, curious and fascinated. Yeah, just like Matt.

"From what I could understand?" he replies, looking at his only hand. "I'm sorry I... I'm not really sure? It has been..." _hard_ couldn't even begin to describe it. It hurt, every moment, everything she had done.

Every time it had been like she was reaching into the deepest part of him and tearing everything apart, trying to make it work, trying to make him work as she wanted, as she needed.

Shiro shudders now at the memories.

"That's it" Keith barks, looking at everyone with ire. "He needs to rest. He can't even stand!"

"As much as I loathe to admit it, I am with Fireboy. I can't do much else for you, but maybe a little more healing would make it easier for you to move around?" Lance tries, with a smile, and Shiro can only nod.

He looks at Keith again, but the other is ushering Pidge and the woman out of the room. For a second Shiro thinks about calling him, asking him to stay.

He doesn't.

 

 

 

Pidge closes the door behind her and she has to breathe for a second. She can see Allura storming off, probably to think about what Shiro has told them. Keith stays behind, just a little to her left, and he looks shaken, fragile.

She still doesn't know how to feel about this, all of this, if she has to be completely honest: a firebender? She might have collaborated with him before she knew what he was, but right now even being beside him strikes her as a betrayal.

How many of her people are suffering right now because of _his_ people? What are they doing to her family?

Pidge sighs and thinks about Shiro's words and tries to take comfort in the knowledge that at least she has news now. At least she knows that her brother was still alive not that many months ago and, after years of nothingness, it’s like a breath of fresh air.

He had also talked about her, enough that Shiro had been able to recognize her immediately, and this makes her happy and sad at the same time. She misses the simple life she used to have, and while she doesn't think her father and brother had been wrong in deciding to fight the Empire, she can harbor a sane dose of resentment towards the situation in general.

And right now Keith is the thing in her vicinity that can be used as a stress relief. She's not proud but this is what war does to people.

Pidge tries to think about what she can say, how she can cut and make him bleed with just words, when Allura resurfaces at the end of the corridor and tells them to follow her.

They both take a second too long before moving and Allura gestures again to make them hurry up.

They move then, with some reticence, and Pidge decides the moment has passed. It wouldn't make sense to try and say something now. They need Keith, after all, and she might not trust him as far as she can throw him with her bending (and she is curious to try and see how far that is), but he's the only connection they have to the Fire Empire.

Allura accompanies them to the living room where Coran is already waiting for them.

Coran had been one of the surprises that this remote villa in the woods had in store for them, beside the house itself. They don't know where it came from and how Allura possesses such a nice place, who she is exactly, but the fact that she isn't a firebender automatically promotes her to trustworthy, at least more than Keith.

"Is your friend well?" Coran asks them, and Keith looks surprised for a moment before scowling, as if the question has pissed him off.

"He's fine. He will be fine," Keith replies curtly and then goes to sit on one of the chairs. Pidge looks at him and then follows, seating herself beside Allura.

"What your friend has told us," Allura starts, "is concerning to say the least. If Zarkon obtains the power to just shut down everyone else's bending at will, there would be no one that could face him. No opposition."

Keith doesn't say anything (but she doesn't expect him to; after all, Zarkon is still his king) and Pidge nods.

"But it's not only that. What could he want with giving the bending back?" Because that's the part that doesn't make sense. She can understand a strategy that focuses on taking away the enemy's advantage, but giving it back? What could be the purpose of that?

"He was confused," Allura tells her, with a serious face. "We can't take everything he says as real." She's right, of course, but there is something strange in this situation, something that continues to run inside of her head just out of reach, and she's not fast enough to catch it.

The silence stretches for a second too long before Keith says, low and almost ashamed, "I never had clearance to know what Haggar’s experiment were.” She doesn't know what Keith wants now, if it's some kind of absolution, but he won't find it here.

"I don't care. You should have checked." She is ready to attack. She feels like a snake now, ready to uncoil and strike. "Just because you saved the prisoners doesn't mean you're forgiven.”

Keith looks taken aback for a second, surprised. Maybe he had probably thought that criticisms would come only from Allura. He doesn't know her well enough to understand her, however, how much her family means to her.

He doesn't know how many sacrifices she has gone through to arrive where she is and, looking at him, knowing that he could have stopped it, saved at least her brother, she's filled with so much anger.

He doesn't say anything, doesn't repeat that he's sorry and she appreciates that he knows it would be useless. Maybe they could have been friends, but the rift between them is too deep for her to try and mend.

"Now, now. I understand you Knickle Knackers are having kind of a rough moment, but it is not the time to lash out in anger," Coran says, playing with his mustache, and they all look at him, surprised.

"Knickle Knackers?" Pidge repeats, because she's not sure that's even a word and Coran smiles.

"Yes. It was a term of endearment that was used on the young apprentices at the temple!" he explains, like it would be obvious.

It hits them then that they don't really know much about Coran. When Allura had brought them here she had only told them that Coran was a friend and that this was her home and they had been too preoccupied with Shiro and then with yelling at Keith to really stop and ask some questions. "The temple?"

"Yeah, hasn't Allura told you..." he stops and looks at her, but she just shakes her head and it seems to be enough to convey whatever she wants him to understand. "Well. I am an Air Acolyte, I believe you can say."

Both Pidge and Keith look surprised at that. They can't really believe what he's saying. It has been so much time since anyone has even heard anything about the Air Nation and it feels even stranger hearing someone admit it so freely. Especially considering what Keith is.

"You're an airbender?" she asks, because she can't really fathom the enormity of it. An airbender? Alive?

But Coran immediately shakes his head and laughs. "Oh, Avatar no. I'm an Air Acolyte, we have unfortunately no bending capacity but we devote our lives to the Air Nation, understanding its customs and learning the principle to spiritual clarity."

Pidge deflates and she sees Keith doing so as well. She wonders what he would have thought had Coran really been an airbender, the last remnant of a civilization his leader had destroyed with terrible effectiveness.

"I'm sorry, I..." but Coran laughs and waves her off.

"You young things have probably never heard about anything regarding the Air Nation since your birth. A grave tragedy, the food of the Air Temples is a prime delicacy and..." he starts and a strange sound brings hers and Keith's attention to Allura, who is making a disgusted face, soon replaced by her usual mask of indifference and anger.

"Do not say that Prin- Allura," Coran says, looking at her. "You always finish the delicacy I make for you," he tells her and Allura sighs, defeated.

It feels light, in the face of all they have seen today, all that they have heard and experienced, and she wants to enjoy it for a second more, before letting reality catch up.

"I..." Keith starts and Pidge looks at him. He seems uncomfortable, but he has always looked that way (a mix between constipated and ready to kill someone) so she doesn't know how to correctly interpret his hesitation. "How can you still be an Air Acolyte? The Air Nation...

"You have some guts asking that!" Allura says, scooting to the edge of her seat, a flash of anger clear in her eyes. Pidge understands her very well, but she's not sure how useful it would be to start a fight right now.

But then Coran puts a hand on Allura's shoulder and she stops, relaxes in almost a second. It's kind of eerie to see. "It's a legitimate question. My family was tasked with a sacred duty long ago and we've been carrying it out since then. Everyone thought the temples were empty, so it was easy laying low after a while.”

Keith stops and then nods. He might have other questions, but it's obvious he's not going to risk it and ask them, not with Allura's reaction.

Pidge asks the only thing she wants to know, the only thing that's making her nervous about this whole thing. "How can you not be angry?" she asks, and her tone is low. She tries not to look at Keith, but it's impossible to resist the urge "What the firebenders have done to your people to... everyone..."

Keith doesn't move, not overtly, but she can see the way his hands clench, the knuckles turning white. He's shaken, even if he doesn't want to show it. _Good_ , she thinks and the most vindictive part of her sneers.

"I have been angry for a long time," Coran says in the end, "and let me tell you, I was a mighty rebel in my youth, even punched a couple of Firey in their faces—no offense. But the teachings of the Air Nation talk about a world in balance, where the four elements live together and it's the only way to keep the peace. Keith here has obviously seen the light in some way. I find that a sign that maybe we may be finally able to kick Zarkon's flaming butt."

They all stop, and the air feels heavy; his words feel like something that an Avatar would say. Balance hasn't been in anyone's mind for such a long time, but it had always been the Air Nation's domain, not only between the elements but also between the spirits and the physical world. The Air Nation and the Avatar, obviously.

Pidge doesn't want to say anything, doesn't want to say what she really thinks. _Fuck balance_ , she whispers in the safe space of her mind, _fuck them._

"And in that regard I might have an idea about what you could do about the... well, the problem your friend talked about," Coran continues, nodding towards Keith. "It is sometimes of a long shot, just a possibility but..."

"There were rumors in the old scripts about a kind of bending that could potentially cut off the connection to the element from other people. It was shaky, nothing substantial," Allura cuts in, standing up. She starts to pace around the room. "And obviously most of the ancient tomes have been burned," she whispers with a little glance towards Keith. "But if we manage to acquire enough information maybe we could reverse it. Understand what their plan is."

"But how?" Pidge asks, because it sound good in theory, but they don't have any clue about where to start, really.

"We go to the source!" Coran exclaims, excited. "Of course I haven't been there, but there should be someone who can help us! The energy shouldn't have dissipated at all and I don't think Zarkon has been there in a long time..."

"Where?" Keith cuts in, with a little of an impatient tone.

"Arus! The spiritual forest!" Coran says with a smile and Pidge's eyes widen on their own accord. 

 

 

 

Hunk stays to help Lance mostly because he's not sure he could survive in a room with just Allura, Pidge and Keith. He still doesn't know what to think about Keith’s revelation, about Pidge, about any of this.

He's scared of what this all means, of what they've gotten themselves into, but being with Lance makes him remember that it could be worse. He could be alone in this.

Or he could be without an arm, that would be bad, too.

He really hopes he's not staring too much at Shiro's stump, but he thinks that maybe he is. It's just that earthbending is quite a physical style and he can't imagine bending without one of his hands and doesn't want to think about how it would be without the entire arm.

Lance is working slowly, focusing on where Shiro had been most hurt when he had been freed, and by the looks of Shiro's little posture shifts it's obvious it's working, but it's also uncomfortable.

"You're moving a lot," Lance mutters, and he isn't annoyed, but it's obvious it's making his job a little more difficult.

"I'm sorry." Shiro sounds contrite, but also tired, maybe a little unsure. They should remember that this man had closed his eyes on a creepy torture laboratory and woken up with complete strangers and... whatever Keith is for him.

"So," Hunk starts, trying to find something to say to maybe distract him, something innocuous, and light. "How does it feel to metalbend?" Yep. That's not it. "I mean..." he says, panicking in a flash, "it's just that I've never been able to? Not that I've tried very much I guess? Maybe a little. Or a lot. But mostly it was just... I didn't want to make you think about, you know, because I'm sure that was terrible. I mean it's called torture so..."

"Hunk," Shiro interrupts him, and he says his name like a question, as if maybe he's not sure he got it right. Have they even tried to introduce themselves to him? Probably not, they are terrible rescuers. He nods and keeps his mouth shut, because right now they are obviously in _Hunk, shut up_ territory. "I don't mind. It doesn't feel that different from earthbending, you have to focus more. Earth is all around you, sometimes you have to focus to keep it still, but with metal you have to reach out to it, to the little pieces of earth inside it. It's a lot of precision work."

Hunk nods, and then nods again and still keeps his mouth shut. It's not a surprise that Hunk has never been able to metalbend if that's what one has to do. Focus is not his strong suit, he's more of an exploding ball of anxiety and stress himself.

"I never understand all this talk about the other styles," Lance says, leaving the right shoulder and focusing on Shiro's side. "Water is... is more like something you have no control over. You have to let it use you. It flows and you just have to guide it," Lance says before muttering, low, "or that's what I've been told.”

Neither he nor Shiro say anything to that and he's grateful that the other is quick enough to understand he shouldn't ask for clarification, instinctively knowing that he should let it go.

"I wanted to thank you. Especially you, Lance," Shiro says, with a tired smile. "I wouldn't probably even be able to talk if not for you.”

It's not a completely wrong statement and he can see Lance preen under the compliments. Hunk doesn't really know who this guy is, but Lance had told them that Takashi Shirogane was a hero and even if he doesn't know what he's talking about it's obvious it's important to Lance.

"It's... it's no problem. I mean, it's the least I could do," he says and he's a little red. "You... you tried to retake the South Water tribe, I know. So. You know."

Oh. That explains it.

The other man seems surprised for a second before he sighs and looks down. "We should have succeeded. A lot of people died that day and then... well..."

"A lot of people got out!" Lance immediately tells him, "and sure, I'm not trying to say that everything went well. But no one had ever even suggested going to the south before. It means a lot."

Shiro considers Lance’s words for a moment and then smiles "I'm glad then."

Hunk knows that Lance's family still hasn't made it out. They might be fine, but they're still there under the Fire Empire's rule.

A few minutes pass before Lance asks, low and a a little bit angry. "I... I don't know what the story is but... you do know he's a firebender, right?"

Again the man looks surprised before nodding "Yes. He was one of the guards in charge of the cells."

Hunk nods, not really all that much surprised. Every other prisoner had recognized Keith on sight; it would have been difficult for him to keep his identity hidden from Shiro. "He tried very hard to get to you," he feels compelled to add, even if it gains him a dark look from Lance.

What does his friend want him to say? Tell the injured amputee hero that the one person that had gone to the trouble of saving him from torture and experimentation was a bad person?

Even if he believed that (and he doesn't, which is another problem) he wouldn't have the heart.

Shiro doesn't say anything at first and it seems he's thinking carefully about what he's saying. "I know it's a lot to ask. I understand. But don't judge him too harshly." There is a little wistful smile on his mouth. He looks sad but fond at the same time.

God, he looks like someone in love 

"He has made mistakes and I won't say that I don't understand you anger, but he's not all bad. He helped me a great deal," he tells them. He seems older, tired.

"He's a firebender," Lance mutters, darkly. "His people are the reason we are in this mess. He..."

"I know," Shiro intercedes, "but it's not his fault how he was born."

"He was a guard! It's not like he deserted when he was five!" Lance says and he's starting to get angry. Hunk can see it clearly and he doesn't stop him. He doesn't know where to stand in this situation, if he should try to comprehend Keith, if maybe Keith deserves to have him in his corner, defending him. At the same time Lance isn't the only one who has suffered at the hands of the firebenders and, his gut feeling aside, he doesn't owe Keith anything.

"I know. But he did the right thing in the end. Doesn't that mean something?" It seems that even if Hunk hasn't made his choice yet there is someone firmly seated on Keith's side. Shiro seems unmovable in his belief.

Lance doesn't say anything, but Hunk knows that it's not a confirmation. He thinks Shiro knows it, too.

"I understand, it's too much to ask," he says, with a little smile. "For now I'm just grateful you guys saved me."

At that Hunk nods and smiles as well, feeling like they are returning to safer waters. "Well, it didn't seem like the best accommodations."

"Yeah, I'm not going to recommend it to anyone," Shiro replies, with mirth in his eyes. It floors him that he can joke about it so freely. He's not sure he would be able to.

Lance nods then and gets up, making sure not to spill the water and sending it back to the container by the bed.

"Well, there's nothing else I can do for you," he says. "I mean you're lucky I was there. I'm good, believe me, but without some spiritual water you're just going to have to heal on your own."

Shiro nods and looks gratefully at Lance. "This is already more than enough. I don't think I can do something to repay you, unless you want a pet rock?"

Lance laughs and shrugs his shoulders. "Man, no need. Just a normal day in the life of a hero, right?" It's supposed to come out cocky and sure, Hunk can tell, but there is something under the surface, something he knows way too well, but he's not sure Shiro can pick up on it.

Hunk isn't sure he wants Shiro to.

Shiro just smiles, completely unaware, or maybe deciding to ignore it (Hunk is grateful either way) and then he tries to stand up.

They both rush to him, trying to make him sit back and the man looks at them, taken aback and maybe a little annoyed.

"What are you doing?" Hunk asks, because he's sure Lance told him that moving was a bad idea.

"I'm sure they're talking about what to do in the other room," Shiro explains to them, but it's clear he doesn't understand why he has to. "I want to go and listen."

"Have you already forgotten the fact that the last time you tried to stand up you ended up with your butt on the floor? I didn't. Did you, Hunk?" Lance looks at him and Hunk shakes his head accordingly and Lance points at him, just to prove his point further.

"I was just caught by surprise," Shiro explains, with a shrug. "It won't happen again."

"Yeah, because you aren't going to move!" Lance repeats, with a manic look in his eyes.

Hunk just nods behind him, because he really doesn't think Shiro is ready for walking yet. He doesn't even seem to be ready for sitting if his pale complexion is any indication (of course he probably hasn't seen sunlight in over a year so it might not be a decisive factor).

Shiro doesn't seem to be happy about any of this and he looks more and more like a pissed-off dog so Hunk does the only thing he can think of and just takes Lance and runs out of the room, locking the door with a key.

"Did you just lock in the ex-prisoner we just saved from an year of imprisonment?" Lance asks him, surprised, and Hunk concedes that when you say it like that it doesn't sound good.

"I panicked," he admits, looking at him. "I didn't want him falling again and then Keith coming here all avenging death on fire."

"You know I can still hear you, right?" Shiro's voice comes from inside the room and Hunk winces.

"It's for you own good?" Hunk tries and he can almost physically hear Shiro roll his eyes.

"At least it beats my cell," the other grumbles and okay, Hunk feels kind of bad. But he recognizes emotional manipulation when he hears it and bringing up actual torture is a low blow.

"I'll bring you muffins!" he tries in the end, and he's not even sure if he has the ingredients to make them, but hell, who doesn't love muffins?

Lance looks at him with hope in his eyes and now he will have to make them in any case, won't he 

"Make them with chocolate chips and you've got a deal. I haven't eaten chocolate in..." he stops there and Hunk doesn't really want to dig up that hole.

"You won't regret it! Hunk makes the best muffins. Also you really have to sleep, your muscles will thank us!" Lance says, excited, and they move away from the door, happy to have resolved the situation with as little people falling on the floor as possible.

"Also you're going to bake the muffins and we aren't giving them to Fire Mullet. Not even one," Lance tells him conspiratorially.

Hunk smiles and nods, all in all if Lance’s nefarious plan to get back at Keith is to make him suffer for lack of muffins they are probably going to be okay.

 

 

 

When night comes Keith knows that he won't be able to fall asleep, and staying awake for two nights isn't going to be the worst choice in his life. There is already too much competition for that particular prize.

Everyone has gone to bed quickly, tired from their ordeal, but also to clear their minds a little. Keith understands that. He tries to move silently to go and sit outside in the little patio.

He doesn't know what he wants to do, doesn't know what he _should_ do, but at the same time he doesn't think he has much of a choice. He has promised Allura and Pidge help with their missions and whatever Zarkon is planning is worrisome enough that he can't just let it go.

And yet he wants to.

There is a part of him—and it's the worst part, the one that had led him to become a soldier under Zarkon's army—that wants nothing to do with any of this. He wanted to rescue Shiro and he has, he's sleeping it off in the other room, and it feels like Keith has accomplished what he wanted, what he needed.

He knows Shiro will want to fight. He knows that there is no other way forward for them, but at the same time he has been angry for so long, so uncaring of everything but himself, and it's difficult to avoid reverting back to old habits.

There is no need to explain himself to the others. He doesn't want to tell them his life story, but the need to burn down the world that had left him alone is still strong inside of him. Why should he help save anyone when no one had ever done anything for him?

Except Shiro, obviously, and Keith has saved him, has done everything he could.

He sighs and puts his head between his legs, trying to take a breath, and then another. It all feels too much.

Keith's life was never supposed to go this way, never supposed to take this turn and now, in front of the mess that is his future, he regrets it a little. Not much, but a little.

When he feels something creaking behind him he stands up, creates two little fire blades inside his fists and gets into battle position, ready to hit whoever has managed to almost sneak up on him. [He looks up and Shiro is looking at him, amused](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002885345/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith).

"The first time we meet without bars in between and you already get violent," Shiro says with a smile that always felt out of place in the prison, a reminder of something long gone. He looks better under the light of the moon, but at the same time it's impossible to ignore, even now that he's not dying or unconscious, how much Shiro has changed.

The scar on his nose, the white in his hair, and the haunted look in his eyes. Keith put them all there.

Maybe his blade had not physically made the scar, but he was still the one that had dealt the blow. He wants to say he's sorry, but he wouldn't know where to start or how to finish.

He relaxes, disperses the fire and looks at Shiro.

There had never been that many opportunities to just look and all he remembers from the time in the prison are stolen moments, dangerous looks. Never enough and too much already.

This, being able to talk normally, having a moment to just exist in the same space, feels like a gift he has done nothing to earn.

Shiro sits down on the porch where Keith had been just a moment before and pats his hand beside him, encouraging him to sit with him. He hesitates only a second before complying.

They don't say anything for a few minutes, enough that the air is getting uncomfortable, but not enough that Keith would move (he doesn’t think there is much that could convince him to move now).

"I think I need to thank you," Shiro says in the end and Keith shakes his head, incapable of saying anything. "You got me out. Heard you dragged me around like a proper damsel in distress."

"You weigh a lot," Keith says, and yet he doesn't weigh enough. He has lost muscle mass, and he hasn't properly eaten in more than a year and it shows, but Keith will never tell him that. Never put such an uncomfortable truth in front of this man.

He's glad Hunk didn’t give him any muffins if at least one more was given to Shiro.

Shiro laughs at Keith's response, like he used to do in the prison when Keith would get a little sassy. He likes that laugh.

"It's not my fault you're so slender." It’s a gentle rib, done with a little smirk "earthbending requires strength."

Keith huffs in amusement and looks up again, trying not to stare too much at Shiro. He feels like it's a titanic endeavor.

"You don't need to thank me," he says in the end, because it's the truth, because Keith is so indebted to Shiro that even rescuing him over and over in the course of their lives doesn't feel like it would even the score. "I..." he tries, but he feels Shiro’s hand on his shoulder and he stops.

It's warm, too warm. It's probably Keith's imagination, because he knows that no human hand could ever burn as much, not even a firebender’s hand. It feels like he's marking him.

"I do need to thank you. For the first time, too." Keith recoils from his touch. It's a cold shower, a dive in a frozen lake and he can't stand to feel the warmth of Shiro's touch. Not like this.

"I left you there to..." he starts, but he has to stop, can't even pronounce the words "You were supposed to be the one getting out."

The other doesn't say anything to that and to Keith it feels like a confirmation, like Keith is just voicing Shiro's thoughts out loud.

He wonders how much Shiro had screamed; had he ever called Keith's name? He doesn't ever want to know.

Silence falls between them again, and it feels like it's too much. Keith can't breathe and he doesn't understand how this all got so broken. His talks with Shiro had been the only things he could have counted on, the only things that got him through the day sometimes, but now the words are like glass in his throat.

They say fire is the most aggressive of the elements, and it's not the first time that Keith thinks that destroying everything is the only thing a firebender will ever be good at.

"I'm glad it worked out the way it did," Shiro says, in the end. He talks slowly, measuring each word, like Keith is a feral animal he has to be careful with. He feels exactly that way. "I mean, I would have preferred both of us getting out then. But I'm glad I stayed behind."

"Why?" Keith asks and his voice is croaking, like he's close to crying. He will not do anything like that, he won't show such a weakness. Not even for Shiro.

"They would have done something worse to you." Shiro’s response is immediate and the fire in Keith wants to burn again with anger and shame. He doesn't want to hit Shiro, not really, but he also wants to burn him, make him take it back. He wants Shiro to be angry at him, the same way everyone else is, the way he is.

"How can you even say that? You... they took away your bending, Shiro. You..." He can't even think what that means, how stressing it is. Having a part of you removed so suddenly from you?

The earth moves under his feet, and under his shoes a little pillar of dirt grows, making him elevate his foot. Then the other one.

"They didn't take it all away" Shiro replies, with a devious smirk, in contrast with the terrible thing they are talking about. "And even if they had, at least I would still be alive. They would have killed you immediately. At least I'm here."

Keith doesn't say what he wants to say, doesn't scream that it's an exchange he would have made gladly, that his life doesn't feel as important as what Shiro has just sacrificed. He already knows those aren't things Shiro would accept.

He stays silent instead, and hopes that maybe Shiro will decide to read whatever he wants into it. He should know it's a useless thing to wish, that Shiro will never let it go until he's sure he has convinced Keith.

The problem is: he doesn't want to be convinced.

"I forgave you long ago, Keith," Shiro tells him, like it's a confession, something secret and maybe a little shameful. Probably it is.

He wouldn't be able to do the same if their role were reversed—he doesn't think so, at least—but he has never been a good person like Shiro. If they had met earlier in life, maybe... but there are too many mistakes on his shoulders for Keith to hope for a clean slate.

"You shouldn't have," is the only thing he can say, the only thing that makes sense. The only true thing.

He gets to his feet, and he wants to run away. Shiro is safe, everyone else has his mission, and he could just slip away now, vanish into the night and never return. No one would really miss him.

Shiro's hand touches his wrist briefly, more like a caress than anything else. "You can't tell me what to do, Keith," he says, his tone light. "I'm a free man now."

It's a terrible thing to say, considering their history, and yet Keith laughs, because he can't do anything else.

Can he really have this? Can they really put everything behind them? He looks at Shiro, looks at his new scar, his white hair, the scars that are hidden under his clothes but that he had seen when Lance had cured him.

No. He doesn't deserve it.

So he walks away, just out of reach. "I'm glad you're safe," he says, because it feels important that he knows, that whatever terrible things Keith has done in his life at least this, this one thing, he's proud of.

"I'm glad you saved me," Shiro replies, a kindness that almost hurts, "but before you go, I kept you one of these"

Keith looks back and a single muffin sits where Keith was before. Lance had eaten them with gusto in front of his face, exaggerating every single bite, almost moaning. He hadn't asked for one, had known what it was about, and had accepted the punishment.

He had thought that it was okay if Shiro had eaten his share too, and now he doesn't know what to do with this. Doesn't know what to feel. "Hunk made it for _you_.”

"Yeah, so I get to decide what I do with it," Shiro answers simply, standing up as well. "I want you to have it."

It's a simple thing, but Keith is floored by it. Who would have thought that a muffin would fuck him up this bad?

Shiro starts to retire to his room, but he stops one foot into the house and says, quietly enough that Keith has to focus to hear it, "You deserve good things too, Keith".

He's gone after that and Keith stays outside, looking at the place where he disappeared for entirely too long. When he eats, the muffin is good, but it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

He knows it's not really the muffin.


	2. Book Two: Bonds

 

 

When they tell them that the plan is to go to a magical forest that may or may not still exist because ancient tales of Air Nomads talked about this place where spirits roamed the physical world, Lance looks at Hunk and tries to convey the fact that this is crazy. Hunk looks at him and he feels like his friend tries to convey the feeling that they should get out of here.

Hunk isn't wrong. They have done what they needed to, they have saved the prisoners and helped one of the heroes of the resistance; Takashi Shirogane is free because of them.

It's enough that, if they return to Ba Sing Se now, they're probably going to be considered heroes as well. They might even be able to scrape enough food to go on without having to steal it and that feels like a miracle all in itself.

So they go back to the room Allura assigned to them that night and they don't say anything, but they know they are thinking this through.

"If we stay here," Hunk says at one point, "it's going to be dangerous. Even more... I think they’re headed into a full scale war."

Lance thinks about the strangers sleeping in the same house: Allura, the rigid and bull-headed leader; Pidge, the strange kid that had given up her identity to save her family; Shiro, the soldier who withstood a full year of torture and tried to get up immediately to go plan; even Keith, the firebender who has left his post and is now fighting against his own people.

When he says them like this they feel like a group of heroes, the stuff people talk about in history books: how can he and Hunk compete?

"I know. I mean I wanted..." he says, looking at his hands, trying to remember why he even thought joining in this mission was a good idea. He had wanted to prove himself, prove that he could fight, that they made an error when they had told him to go away. He had done it for selfish reasons, he thinks, and now they seem incredibly stupid.

"I know," Hunk says, beside him. Hunk had been there, after all, he _does_ know and the complete support, the lack of judgement Lance always receives is the best thing that has ever happened to him in this terrible, terrible world. "But I don't think we're cut out for this! I'm just a baker’s son from a little village in the north! I can't go and fight firebenders, Lance! They have fire!"

He knows what Hunk is saying, he can hear the _don't make me do it_ , because if Lance choses to stay Hunk will, too.

He loves his friend, knows that his loyalty is the best part of him, but at the same time he doesn't know what he has done to deserve it. Doesn't really remember doing anything special.

"Two street rats defeating the Fire Empire. How stupid is that?" he asks, because it does sound stupid. Lance isn't even that good at waterbending, he can admit that, at least in the safe space of his head. Those are trained fighters, skilled soldiers, merciless killers.

They are just a pair of friends in way over their heads.

"So we leave tomorrow? Do we agree, Lance?" Hunk asks him and he only nods because it's the right choice. He knows it is and for once he can be responsible.

They don't talk for a while, enough that Lance thinks maybe Hunk is sleeping. Lance would too if he could, but everything dances in his head and doesn't stop. His mind is a hurricane and Lance is getting swept away by the current.

"You want to stay." Hunk's words are a surprise in the dark. He doesn't move, doesn't even breathe for a second.

Oh shit, he _does_ want to.

"Lance, why?" his friend asks him, and for the first time since they have known each other, it’s like Hunk doesn't really get it. "This is not a game. I know you need... you have this thing about proving yourself but-"

It's not a _thing_ , and Hunk knows that. He's just scared and lashing out. The problem is that Lance is scared, too.

"What if we can make a difference?" he asks instead, his voice a little shaky. "What if they really find a way? They don't have someone to heal them and you... don't sell yourself short. You're good. Just because I'm not doesn't mean you can't fight."

"Stop it," Hunk says, sitting up on his bed. "This is not about... this is war, Lance. It's not just the bully on the street or the people we steal from. They can and will kill us." He looks back at his hands. "They've killed everyone else."

There are no words to make Hunk feel better; he knows that, because he feels the same gaping hole too. He wonders sometimes, even if they manage to defeat the Fire Empire someday, will they still be whole enough to appreciate it?

"We're made of stronger stuff," he tries to say, but it falls flat. They've lost so much, and gained so little.

"They want to go to a magical forest to find a spirit they can talk to, Lance! This is... next thing they're going to look for Unicorns! Or maybe Werewolves. Do _those_ exist now?" It's possible Hunk is going to panic very soon, so Lance sits up as well.

 "Wouldn't be cool if they did?"

"I mean, yes of course, but that's not the point!" Hunk interjects and Lance laughs.

"But don't you want to see this place? If it exists?" He knows he sounds enthralled, but it's a magical spiritual forest. Hunk can't understand, earthbending isn't as spiritually connected as waterbending, but Lance had grown up with stories of spirits, of a time long past when humans and spirits lived together. It feels incredible thinking that maybe he can meet one.

"If it exists! Exactly, thank you for proving my point!" Hunk only responds, looking at him, "which is that you're all crazy and if I die I'm going to haunt you for all eternity."

Lance smiles, because he knows he has won. He didn't really have any doubts and he is sorry he's taking advantage of the loyalty Hunk gives him. But he thinks this is important, this is something he would always regret.

"If you die, I'll probably be dead as well," he tries. "We can be the coolest ghosts around. You and me together."

"Why do I even let myself be dragged out to these things?" his friend mutters, but he's not really all that angry. He hasn't even protested as much as Lance would have thought.

"You love me, buddy, no need to deny it," he sing-songs and when Hunk actually doesn't deny it, he laughs.

The next day it seems they are the last to wake up, and when they reach everyone else, they are seated while Coran brings to the table some strange grey thing.

"Oh hello! You've finally woken up! Just in time for breakfast!" Coran says with a smile and Lance can't really stop himself from cringing.

"That's breakfast?" he asks, unable to keep the disbelief from his voice, and he can see the disgusted expression on Pidge's face. Shiro is looking at his mostly full plate like it might be the worst thing he has seen in his life, and they freed him from prison yesterday.

Keith isn't even looking at his plate from where he sits on the side, away from everyone else. _Good_ , he doesn't even know why he's still here.

"Are there more muffins?" he asks Hunk, who looks like someone murdered his family. So the answer is probably no.

"We don't have time for breakfast" Allura says, and she looks a bit manic. "We have much to do. A lot of ground to cover!"

"What? But Pri-Allura, I'm sure the others would like to feast upon this..." he starts but before he can finish both Pidge and Keith stand up suddenly.

"I agree with Allura," Pidge says. "I... we really have to do. A lot. I mean we need to find a way to travel and..."

"The Fire Empire is probably looking for us right now," Keith says, nodding. "We need to keep moving, we already stayed here too long."

Coran looks defeated and sad for a second, but it seems he understands. Lance doesn't like having to thank Keith, so he's going to thank Pidge and Allura’s quick thinking.

"We can bring it with us for a late snack," Shiro says with a smile to placate the other man and everyone else looks at him, betrayed.

"That's a marvelous idea!" Coran exclaims, going into the kitchen to pack their breakfast for the road.

Shiro raises a hand and then, as low as possible, "The plan is to dump that thing as soon as possible," he tells them, with the look of someone going into a mortal mission. "And then keep him as far away from anything we want to eat."

"We could have just left!" Lance says, and Shiro looks sheepish.

"He was sad," he defends himself and Keith rolls his eyes, so it's probably something pretty typical.

"Okay, we will... but what I said was half an excuse and half truth. Arus is far away, we need a means of travel..." Pidge reflects, fixing her glasses. "I mean, I might be able to repair one of the Mobiles if we manage to find one, but..."

They all know that Mobiles are practically impossible to come by outside of the Fire Empire and if they don't find a way to move quickly, the journey could take them too long.

"I..." Allura says, fixing her hair behind her ear. "We have a flying bison." Everyone looks at her at the same time, surprised, and she just shrugs her shoulders.

Flying bisons are almost a mythological beast at this point. The stories say that no one had seen one ever since the genocide of the Air Nomads. Are they going to fly with a flying bison? Lance can hardly contain his glee and, looking at everyone else, it seems he's not the only one.

"Oh yes, we're going to take Mousey then?" Coran asks, coming back in the room with a little packed lunch.

"His name is Plachulatt," Allura mutters, but Lance already likes Mousey a lot better.

"That big fellow sounds like a mouse, you should see it. Was like that since he was a little wee bison," Coran tells them with a smile. "We don't really know why. But it gives him personality."

"Where is he? Why haven't we seen him?" Hunk asks, surprised and looking around like they have just missed a giant flying bison in the room.

"I told him to hide... I didn't..." Allura stops, but everyone knows what she was going to say next. Everyone else can see the way Keith's shoulders go a little more rigid, the way Shiro leans a little forward, almost like he wants to touch Keith. Lance almost bristles at that.

He understands that maybe these two have some kind of history, but he hasn't forgiven him yet and Allura is well within her right. Years of war and oppression can't be forgotten in a night and he's not even that sure Keith deserves to be forgiven anyway.

"Well, let's go," Keith says in the end, closing the argument and just walking outside. They don't have much on them, and right now they don't have time to pack more than what they did for the mission, which is a whole lot of nothing.

"We'll need to stop somewhere along the way. We can't go around with the same clothes every day," he says, because Lance has standards and these are not them.

"We don't have the time," Pidge says, shaking her head, and Lance looks at her. She really doesn't seem like a girl, which is probably deliberate since she had tricked them for two whole days. But not only girls appreciate good clothes, or being clean.

"I'm not going to be travelling with you all on a flying bison without proper hygiene etiquette," he says, because it sounds only fair.

"You do know flying bisons stink, right?" Keith mutters and Lance almost growls at him, the little shit.

"Enough. Why don't we get started, cover as much ground as we can, and then stop to sleep near a village? The next day we can find what we need and then be on our way," Shiro intercedes, trying to mediate and, when no one else says anything, he just nods.

They exit and reach a clearing near the house that no one had really noticed before. They look at Allura who gets a whistle out of her pocket and blows on it. It doesn't take long for a shadow to appear over them and a squeaking sound comes down.

It really sounds like the squeaking of a mouse and the massive animal that flops down in front of them is completely different than anything that sound might have presaged.

"Hey, Plachulatt," Allura says, with a little smile, going to stroke the bison's fur while everyone else just looks at them, surprised and fascinated at the same time.

Lance has never seen a bison before, only in books, fairy tales and old legends, and he thinks they didn't do them justice. Also they are fucking adorable, so there was that.

"Can I touch him?" he asks and he hears Pidge say the exact same thing at the same time. They look at each other, surprised, before Allura nods and takes a step back.

"Just be careful, he's not used to strangers," she warns them, but they are already beside Mousey and looking at him with wonder.

Lance doesn't even hesitate to stroke the fur on the side of the creature's face and he huffs, maybe annoyed, maybe startled. Pidge looks at him with a raised eyebrow and then offers her hand to the animal to sniff, like a peace offering.

Mousey sniffs at it and then he relaxes and offers his head to pet. Lance might be dying of jealousy.

"You just have to be patient," Pidge says, with an annoying little smirk. "You have to be gentle with him, after all."

He looks at her, annoyed, and then copies her previous movement, letting Mousey sniff at him and offer his head freely for petting.

"He's so fluffy. Hunk, come and see how fluffy he is," he says with a smile, looking back at his friend, but Hunk is just looking at them.

"I prefer to stay alive. That thing is big enough to kill all of us with a friendly boop," he says and Allura huffs.

"He's better trained than that," she informs him, like Hunk's fear has morally offended her and her pet. Lance knows it's just how Hunk is, he needs a second to just acclimatize to new things.

After a few seconds Shiro and Keith come forward as well, and they let Mousey sniff them too. They seem perfectly calm, but Lance can see they are a little awestruck. Ah, take this, Fire Mullet!

Hunk is the last one to come forward and when he does, Mousey looks at him and moves forward, taking a long sniff.

"Oh god. He wants to eat me," Hunk says, terrified, and Lance is already moving forward, even if he's not sure what he could do, when Mousey just sniffs again and then starts to headbutt lightly at Hunk's pocket.

"Wait... what?" Hunk asks and then his eyes go wide and he says, "OH, you're..." He gets something out from his pocket and Lance recognizes one of the muffins that Hunk had sworn were finished the night before. The little weasel.

"I call betrayal! Hunk! I thought we had eaten them all!" he says, while Mousey munches on the last muffin, "and now you're giving it to the cow!"

"It's a flying bison," Pidge says, looking at him, "and he will carry us all over the place, it only feels fair."

It's not untrue, but at the same time... that was Lance's muffin.

"I can understand," Keith says with a smirk, and for a second Lance is so surprised that Keith is actually siding with him that he's not ready when the other shoes drop. "Mine was delicious yesterday."

"What? Hunk! We had an agreement! No muffins for the Fire Mullet!" he says, rounding upon his best friend.

"It wasn't me. Well, it's me with the bison, but I didn't give any to Keith," Hunk says, while Mousey keeps sniffing him in search of other treats. He doesn't think Pidge would have given Keith anything better than a kick in the shin—he likes her for that—so he looks at the only one left: Shiro.

"I thought we bonded," he tells him. "I cured your wounds! Touched your chest! That was a bonding moment"

Shiro laughs a little, apologetic, but doesn't say anything else while Allura tells them to stop wasting time and makes them hop on Mousey. It's obvious they are a little heavy for the animal, but Allura strokes his fur and he seems to be ready to fly.

"You know," Pidge tells him conspiratorially, "maybe Keith has touched his chest, too." Her voice is low, barely a whisper, but Lance appreciates the good humor.

"I don't think I can beat Keith if that's the game," he tells her, but then tries to make his best flirting face. "But maybe for the sake of the Revolution..."

"You could lie back and think about Ba Sing Se?" Pidge continues and they both laugh, while everyone else looks at them surprised.

It still feels strange, being here, when he and Hunk have nothing to contribute beside a little bit of carelessness and some luck, but at the same time he doesn't regret his choice.

While they fly Hunk hunches over the seat on Mousey's back, saying he's going to be sick and Lance goes to him and tries to soothe him a bit. They are going to explore the world; they are going to do incredible things, he knows it. And for once he has a first row seat for the show. He won't just be to the side.

"I hate you," Hunk tells him, and he does look a little greener than usual.

"I know buddy, I know," he replies, even if he doesn't sound as sorry as he should be. "But I promise, this will be worth it," and he looks on, smiling.

 

 

 

Even with Plachulatt's help, it takes three days to travel all the way to the forest and, as promised, they stop near a small village deep inside the Earth Nation to pick up some clothes and some food.

Coran is distraught when he finds his food gone, but Allura looks at Shiro with a nod.

She doesn't know what to think of this newcomer. On one hand she understands he is a soldier and one that is highly renowned, but at the same time she can't forget that it was Keith that bought him in. She hasn't asked for their story, doesn't really want to know, but how can she trust someone who has such deep ties to a firebender?

Him and Keith seem to have a strange relationship, where they gravitate towards each other almost without realizing before Keith notices and puts some distance between them. Shiro does nothing more than look, glances that speak volumes, but it always stops there.

They reach the forest during the night of the fourth day, when Allura would have suggested they stopped to let Plachulatt rest. It's a happy coincidence and they start to descend slowly.

"Do we know what to expect?" Pidge asks, looking downward while the forest gets closer and closer every second.

Allura has never visited Arus in her life. She had heard of it, knows her father had once in his youth, but Allura has never been one to commute with spirits.

"Not really. But we must be alert," Coran says, looking very serious. "There is a reason why spirits don’t usually live in the human world and we have to respect them, and their home. Never forget that we are guests."

"And that they can eat us," Hunk pipes up, and over the days of travel it seems he has gotten used to flying, but he still looks a little green around the edges.

"If we don't give them reason to attack us," Allura tells them, hoping to sound confident and reassuring, "they will leave us alone. There aren't that many violent spirits."

"That's not what the stories say," Lance corrects her, and Allura almost tell him that there is no way that any of them could know better than her, but she stops and adjusts the reins on Plachulatt.

"We just have to follow the teachings of the sages," Coran tells them, "and everything will be okay."

"You two are the only Air Acolytes around here. We don't know the rules!" Hunk almost screams "if any of your sages was wise he would have told people to just go home."

Shiro puts a hand on Hunk's shoulder and squeezes lightly. "We're here together, there is strength in numbers."

Hunk doesn't seem at all convinced, but he relaxes slightly. She can't inspire that type of calmness. She knows she's not as good with her followers and she envies that man for a second. Her struggle with leadership, with believing in herself, has been such a big part of her that she can't do anything but admire him.

They reach the ground slowly and what had seemed like a big, but navigable, forest from the sky looms over them, with very little light passing through the leaves.

"Shall we move forward?" Coran asks with a smile. Hunk shakes his head as strongly as he can.

"Someone has to stay with Mousey, right? I'm going to stay with Mousey, we have a special bond. We'll just fly over the forest. Stay there, safe," Hunk tries, but she doesn't really give him any attention. She knows that Lance or maybe Shiro will deal with him.

She feels Coran stand beside her and his presence is a comfort with the sea raging inside her.

"I know this must be difficult, Princess," he says, "but you're doing your father proud."

Allura wants to smile at him, wants to make sure he knows how much she appreciate his efforts, but it all feels too much.

"From what I know spiritual energy reacts to one person’s feelings," Pidge informs them, fixing her glasses on her nose. "So maybe this is all your fault."

She looks back at the strange team she has found and doesn't really know if her father would really be proud, but she doesn't have the time to ask herself that question anymore.

"We have to move," she tells them and starts walking. "Plachulatt, wait for us. I'll call you when we need to leave."

Plachulatt squeaks, and flies away while Hunk asks him to just take him with him.

"Well, now that we are here and we don't have a way to leave... how exactly do we find a spirit?" Lance asks, looking around with a slightly worried expression.

Everyone looks at Coran for guidance and he looks at Allura and she... she has no idea.

"We... we walk around. This is a place with a high spiritual force. We will have to find someone sooner or later, right?" she says, but she doesn’t know, not really. But what can she say?

She's supposed to know these things. They should be her birthright, but she's as useless now as she was before.

"Well, that seems a bad plan," someone mutters and when she looks back to see who has said it no one reacts, almost as if they haven't heard anything. She shivers a little bit, but pushes the feeling away.

"Are we even sure there are spirits here?" Pidge asks again, looking around. "The two words have been separated for ages, really. No one has seen a spirit in a long, long time."

"There is no certainty, obviously, but there is a very strong spiritual force here," Coran says, looking at them.

"And we don't have another plan," Shiro says, nodding. "Wandering about is the only thing we can do for now."

"Not for too long, you should still be resting," Lance tells him and Allura notices how, at the words, Keith just shifts closer to Shiro, as if ready to catch him.

"I've been worse," Shiro says, putting his hand on Lance's shoulder and then looking at her and Coran. "I'd say you should be leading the way."

God, her father would have liked him, she thinks. Certainly he is a better leader than she is. But she doesn't say anything; she just nods and then starts walking. Any direction is the same, really, and it's not like she can see any visible changes in any part of the forest. It all looks dark and oppressing.

They start walking and walking and _walking_. There is no way to tell how much time has passed, no sun to peek at, and even the feeble ight that passes through the tree's leaves isn't enough for them to say how much time they've been wandering. It feels like hours at least.

"May I say this plan isn't working?" Lance says at one point and Allura ignores him and just keeps going.

"I don't mind. I don't really want to meet a spirit that will probably want to eat us," Hunk says. "I'd say we gave it our best, let's just call Mousey and yep-yep our way out of here."

"I think that's the third time we've passed that same rock," Keith also adds, unhelpfully, and Allura just grinds her teeth.

"Okay, now I just want to keep going. Agreeing with you might actually make me sick," Lance comments, before looking at the rock, critically, "and it's just a normal rock."

"It's not," Keith says simply, without really explaining.

"Well, excuse me, Mr. Rock Expert!" Lance huffs and Hunk tries to placate them both.

"It's the same," he says to Lance. "I mean I can feel it. It has the same... feeling?" he tries to explain and Lance just looks at Keith, pointing at him.

"You can't be an earthbender too, so you're just talking out of your ass," he accuses the firebender and Keith looks at him, annoyed.

"I don't need to be an earthbender. I have _eyes_ ," he says with a huff. Lance is ready to say something back, she can already feel it, but she isn't sure she can take it, honestly.

"Oh, shut up! I don't know where I'm going! I'm sorry we're going in circles, okay? But what do I know? I've never been here before and I'm not my father!" she screams, letting go of her composure, "and I'm making it up as I go too! It's not like I can just ask a spirit to appear!"

"Well, you could have," someone says, with an excited tone. "Asking adds at least a ten per cent to your probability of success!"

She stops and then looks behind her where there is a... a... she wouldn't really know how to describe it.

An animal with eight arms and a very strange expression? She doesn't think she has ever seen an animal like th— and then it clicks. It's like her brain is delayed for a second, but everyone comes to the same conclusion at the same time and she can hear the intakes of breath around her.

This, this strange creature in front of her, is a spirit.

It looks less holy and magical that she'd have thought from what she has heard all her life, but it's not important now.

"[Oh dear Avatar, it's a spirit!" Hunk screeches behind her, but she doesn't even look at him.](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002916750/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith)

"Yes. And you're humans, funny. No human has entered this forest in a long, long while," the spirit says, looking curiously at them. "Also there was a probability of twenty-three percent that you would get eaten in the first ten minutes of your stay. So congratulations!"

She can see Hunk almost faint, but she doesn't have the time for him, really. She advances and tries to remember what her father had taught her, all his words of advice, but her mind is blank.

"Great spirit, please, we've come here to seek your help and guidance," she tries, wondering if she should bow, would it be too much? Maybe just a little bit. "Please, help us."

It looks at her for a second, and then at the others, and then he just says, "No," and starts to walk away. Wait, what?

"What?" she hears the other says, almost in perfect synch.

"The possibility that you would be able to do anything even if I did help you is too small," it explains. "It's nothing personal. But you have a sixty-nine per cent chance of dying before you even face Zarkon. So no."

"You know about Zarkon!" Shiro says, advancing and coming almost beside her. "So you know how important it is that we find a way to stop whatever he's doing!"

The spirit glances at them and then nods. "Yes, but the probabilities of you all dying a horrible and gruesome death are too high. You should fix your garments," he says then, looking at Coran. "Then you have just a sixty-eight-point-nine percent probability of dying."

Everyone looks at their clothes for a second, surprised, before Allura looks back at the spirit. She's not going to be taken for a fool here.

"You have to tell us. We've traveled so far and... and... " she stops. She wonders how the spirit would react if she told it who her father was. But then she looks back at the others and she's not sure she's ready for this.

"Just because we could fail," Shiro says as well, looking at the spirit with determination, "doesn't mean we shouldn't try at all. We only ask for help, then we can go die alone."

Hunk gulps, a little sound of fear, but no one else says anything beside that. Allura nods, weakly, and tries to think of something else to say.

The spirit looks at Shiro, and then at the others, and then finally at her. "If I don't tell you, you're going to just do it on your own, and your chances of survival decrease to zero point two per cent. I can only tell you a story, however."

Allura nods and almost smiles, relieved. The other are looking at the spirit, listening.

"What?" the spirit says, looking at them in surprise. "Not here! What are you talking about? Do you see that root?" he asks, pointing at the root of one of the trees in the distance.

They all look, but nothing seems to be different about it.

"It's shaped wrong. It's wrong. It has an irregular curve. We can't be here. Come on," he says and then scurries away.

The all stands still for a second, too surprised to move, before Lance says, confused, "We should follow him, right?"

"Of course! If you don't follow me this whole thing will have been pointless," the spirit says, appearing on Shiro's shoulder out of nowhere and the earthbender almost falls under the sudden pressure.

Keith looks ready to kill, with little flames appearing out of his hands.

"Calm down!" the spirit says, annoyed. "There is a puddle in front of us. I don't want to step into it. Your waterbender has to remove it," he says, looking at Lance.

"I'm sorry, a puddle?" Lance asks and the spirit nods enthusiastically.

"Yes. It's very dangerous. I should know," he says. "I will stand here. You have the lowest probability out of the group to die right now. I find that comforting."

Everyone looks at Shiro, and then at the spirit, and they don't really know what to say. "Well? Chop chop. We don't have a lot of time!"

 

 

 

What Shiro can't really understand about all this, if he's being honest right now, is why exactly he's the one carrying the spirit around. Slav, he said his name was, now that he has decided to talk to them, has decided to never stop yapping.

Only not about anything they actually care about.

Even with the help of Lance’s healing ability, his muscles feels still sore and every step he takes with the added weight feels like hell. He wants to stop for a while, but he knows that they can't.

"Can't we just talk here?" he asks, anyway, because at this point he's ready to just sit down on the ground and call it a day. Aren't spirits supposed to be incorporeal?

"Here? Are you crazy?" Slav asks, looking around them.

"Why? Why is he crazy? What’s there?" Hunk asks, terrified and sticking closer to Lance.

"It's a terrible place," Slav says, nodding gravely. "It just has too much green."

Shiro stops, looks around them, and thinks for a second of not doing what he wants to do. Then he remembers that he has been tortured for a year and you know what? Fuck this.

"No," he says, stopping. "You're telling us where we have to go. It's going to be a place around here, and we're going to stop there and you're going to talk, is that understood?" he asks, his voice raising with every single word.

Slav looks at him, surprised, and everyone else just seems stunned. It's probably the first time he has appeared angry in front of them, but they have known each other for less than a day. They'll get over it.

"This is not the right place," Slav insists and Shiro looks at him, ready to explode, when it's Keith, unsurprisingly, that comes to his aid.

"We are stopping here," he announces, looking around and walking to a set of big roots. "We are going to sit here and you're going to talk."

"I..." Slav starts, but Keith just looks at it.

"I could rest," Pidge admits as well, "we've been walking for a long time..."

Everyone else nods, quietly, and Slav just looks at them before sighing. "I'm not touching any leaf," he announces, which probably means he has decided to do the whole thing on Shiro’s shoulders but... okay. At least he can sit somewhere.

Shiro goes and sits beside Keith and when the firebender twitches, almost like he wants to get up, he moves his leg and just puts it against the other's. Keith moves his leg, as expected, but doesn't try to get up anymore.

"So. What do you know of the era of Rava?" Slav asks, when they are all seated. Shiro looks around, trying to see if someone knows something about what the spirit is talking about, but the only ones that don’t seem lost are Allura and Coran.

"Rava, the spirit of order and light and the spirit that makes the Avatar cycle possible," Coran starts, ready to launch into a complex retelling of the whole story, but Slav nods and stops him.

"Yes, yes, but that’s not what we need right now," it says, and then moves from Shiro's shoulder to perch at the top of his head. "What you need to know is that, at that time, spirits and humans lived together, the humans protected by the Lionturtles, living in the cities on their backs, while the spirits ran wild. The Lionturtles gave the humans the power of bending when they ventured into the wilds, to protect themselves.

“Each city had a Lionturtle, and each Lionturtle could give the power of one element. There is a story, a legend and a myth, about a group of humans, all from different Lionturtles' cities that were captured by an evil spirit. I don't know what kind of spirit, but I don't think it's important right now. What matters is that they all had one of the five different styles of bending and there was a 0.03% possibility of them getting out alive. In any universe, really.

“But they fought, and when they understood that their powers alone weren’t enough they joined forces. They created a construct, a being of incredible power, to defeat the terrible spirit and escape with their lives. This mythical being was called Voltron," Slav says and Shiro feels him move on top of his head.

They all stay silent for a moment and then Hunk says, looking confused, "What? Lionturtles? Humans living on their backs? What does that even mean?"

Slav ‘s voice is surprised when he asks "You don't know about Lionturtles?"

"What? No!" Lance says, surprised. "Why would we?"

Shiro can feel him moving and looking at Allura. "Not even you? I could swear they were around. Maybe. It has been some time."

"Nothing you were saying makes any sense!" Pidge says, massaging her temple. "I mean. People and spirits lived in the same plane and humans living protected by Lionturtles?" she asks, and she looks confused, but determined.

"Well, yes. Where would they live? Spirits would have eaten them had they not," Slav simply states, like it’s normal.

Shiro looks at Keith, who has stiffened at the proclamation, and at Hunk, who suddenly looks afraid again. "Eat. Yes. You're not going to kill us, right?"

Slav thinks for a second, like he's actually contemplating this, before just shrugging. "Not in this reality," which doesn't really make any sense.

"This doesn't matter," Allura interrupts them out of the blue, looking at Slav. "This Voltron. You think it can defeat Zarkon?"

"Probably," Slav answers, patting with one hand Shiro's head.

"And you think we can make it!" Lance speaks up, interested.

"No," the spirit answers immediately. Lance deflates and Shiro can see Keith just rolling his eyes.

"We don't even have an airbender. He said we need all the elements," Keith says, with a little huff, and he's right. Even if they could find Voltron, they don't have an airbender. They are missing one of the key components and they aren't really sure if any airbenders even exists right now.

They are probably all dead and, even if someone had survived the genocide, they would be hiding and it wouldn't be easy finding them. They are stuck.

"But..." Slav starts and Shiro can feel one of his hands touching his shoulder, a little nervously. He wants to push him away, but Allura speaks before he can.

"That doesn't matter. Why don't you think we can form Voltron?" she asks, and her eyes are dark and angry. Shiro knows her look, can recognize the dark seed of revenge.

A lot of people have lost so many things because of the Fire Empire and he can't even start to imagine what she could have lost.

"What do you mean it doesn't-" Pidge starts, but Allura silences her swiftly with a look.

"Well. I think that you would probably need to find some Lionturtles. After all they are the only ones who know how to form Voltron. And you don't even know what a Lionturtle looks like," Slav tells them, bluntly, looking a little confused. "Also you don't seem very strong."

Shiro looks surprised at that, while Keith looks mildly offended. "You've let him carry you around!" he says, gesturing towards Shiro like that personally offended him, too.

"Well yes," Slav says, "but that doesn't mean you can defeat Zarkon!"

"Do you know where we can find a Lionturtle?" Shiro asks, trying to stop the inevitable fight that's going to happen soon, and Slav just turns towards him.

"I don't know. It has been quite a while," he says, but it is a little something, right? Maybe he could give them a place to start?

"But you know where one could be," he presses. Everyone else looks hopeful but confused at the same time. He understands them, he really does. The story Slav has told them has done nothing to soothe his nerves, and it seems like it's an impossible task, but at the same time, what other choice do they have?

They still don't know what's going on, what Zarkon's plan is, and this is the only thing that will give them a chance if what this spirit is saying is right.

Shiro feels powerless now, has been feeling powerless for a long long time, and he's just trying to find solid footing in a world where his bending could be taken away like nothing.

"Well, I can... feel the presence of a great spirit in the land. The Earth’s Lionturtle has always been fond of the Si Wong desert, but it's a big desert. And if he doesn't want to be found..." Slav informs them, but Shiro already feels like it's enough. The desert is not a place where adventurers go freely. There are too many tales of lost souls never returning, swallowed by the sand, but it's a place they know, not too far from here.

"We can go there," Pidge says, as if she's reading his mind. "We have Mousey, we can fly over it and maybe try and see if we can spot it."

Allura is nodding along, too deep in thought to even protest the bison’s nickname, while Coran brightens with excitement. Hunk is the one that is most skeptical. "I don't want to be the voice of reason, as always, but if this Lionturtle doesn't want to be found I don't think just flying around could help us?"

He's not wrong. If that was all that it took someone else would have been able to see the spirit long before now. Slav is also nodding on his head.

"But there must be a way!" Coran protests.

If they can't even find the first Lionturtle, if they can't find a way to defeat Zarkon, all of his sacrifices, all of his hurt, everything they have given up along the way... Shiro looks at Keith but the other isn't looking at him. They're out of synch and as much as Shiro wants to fix this, it's something else out of his hands.

"Well, you could try and use the quintessence," Slav informs them, like it’s supposed to be obvious.

"Wait, the quintessence can be used to find Lionturtles?" Coran asks. "That was never in the books!"

Slav answers immediately. "The quintessence can be used for many things, to block the Chi of someone, like Zarkon has done to your earthbender,” he explains, patting Shiro on the head again. "But it is a spiritual stone. It reacts to spirits.

"Block my chi?" Shiro asks, confused. Is that what has happened to him?

"Well, yes. Don't tell me you didn't know" Slav says, confused. "You humans really are blind."

"Is there a way to reverse it?" Keith asks, immediately, as angry and focused as he always is. It brings him a little warmth to see him like this, but it's just a spark of fire in the cold ice that is his mind now.

He has a blocked Chi? His connection to that little part of his aura that made him able to reach deeply into metal, to the earth inside of it... is blocked? Why not all his bending ability? Why just that?

"I can't," Slav responds immediately. "In another reality, maybe. As an avatar I most certainly could."

"Why only his metalbending?" Keith asks, bewildered. "Why not all?"

Shiro can't really see Slav's face clearly, but he can feel him. "How would I know?" he asks, and it's not unkind, just disinterested.

He wonders what their lives must look like to spirits that live forever, unchanged by the passing of time. Shiro hasn't even been born for that long and he feels so old already.

"It doesn't matter," Allura says, getting on her feet. "We can steal some quintessence, maybe use some of the contacts you said you had, Keith, and find this Lionturtle."

"Of course it matters!" Keith barks, angry and defensive on Shiro's behalf and he should intervene, touch him and calm him, but he doesn't think he can.

Allura seems to notice what she has said and she falters, slightly. Coran stands up as well, coming to her rescue. "Of course it matters, but maybe if we can find this Lionturtle we can also find a way to help with Shiro’s'... predicament."

It doesn't placate Keith, not even in the slightest, but they are right. He knows that his trauma isn't as important, he can still fight, he can still do something, even without his metalbending. He should be grateful.

"Why would you need to steal the quintessence? Just take some," Slav tells them, puzzled.

"Take some?" Lance asks, surprised, and Slav just nods.

"Of course. This is a spiritual forest, the fact that you are here inside means you can take it," he says, finally moving from Shiro's head. "I mean any human that normally comes inside the forest gets lost forever, usually, so I’d say you can get the quintessence and leave without any problems.” He looks at Allura and Coran. "I'd say there's a seventy-eight per cent chance of not being swallowed by the forest. Good luck!"

And then Shiro doesn't feel any weight on his shoulders anymore, and he realizes that the spirit has disappeared.

"Wait!" Pidge says, jumping to her feet. "You didn't tell us where we should go!"

"Right" Slav says, reappearing on one of the trees above them. "go right that way. Don't think about getting lost, the forest likes that. You should find the quintessence soon. Then thank the forest and go away." With that he's gone again.

They stay silent for a second, almost wondering if it's worth something to speak.

"Can I just say something?" Lance says, out of the blue. "I really don't like spirits."

"Me neither," Keith says as well, and, well, at least he and Lance have found something in common.

They start walking after that and Shiro feels better after having rested for a little. Keith's presence is comforting at his side and Shiro doesn't even draw attention to the fact that Keith doesn't need to walk beside him, that Shiro won't fall.

It's too nice to ruin it.

 

 

 

“Is anyone else thinking about getting lost?” Hunk asks, a little afraid, looking around “because I can’t seem to think about anything else.”

Pidge looks back at him and then faces forward again. They have been walking for what feels like an eternity after leaving Slav, but nothing is appearing in front of them. She’s almost ready to call it quits.

“Then you should stop” Lance says, looking back “didn’t you hear the spirit?”

“I did! That’s why I can’t stop. It’s like when they tell you to don’t think about an elephant koi and you can’t stop thinking about that elephant koi!” Hunk is almost screaming at this point, a little hysterical. Pidge is close to just telling him to shut up.

No one has actually talked much, she can see the way Shiro is closing off in his own world, probably acknowledging what Slav had told them and the way Keith keeps looking at him, worried, before shaking his head and averting his eyes, only to look back again after a few seconds. It’s almost comical.

“We probably aren’t thinking about it enough” Coran tells them, with a sigh “oh great forest of Arus, please show us the way! Please give us your sage guide and…”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s working” Lance informs them, with a huff. Allura looks tired, but it’s obvious she agrees with Lance.

“Maybe I could… meditate. Try and connect with the forest” she proposes, but it’s obvious she doesn’t really thing it would help.

She looks around, tries to see if there’s something that can help them, maybe something they have missed, when she sees the bright plants that are almost glowing. She stares for a second, thinking she’s probably imagining it all. The glow gets stronger.

“We can also try to follow the glowing plants,” she suggests then. Everyone stops, looks at her like she’s crazy but she just points to the little road that has formed to their side, glowing with a bright yellow now.

“Oh thank you, great forest! Thank you great spirits!” Coran announces to the air, and Pidge looks around surprised.

Lance shrugs and points out “Slav had told us that asking made our chances better”.

No one says anything else, but they follow the little road without talking, all too fearful of what they are going to find at the end. The answer is: something beautiful.

She doesn’t know how they have missed this tree when they were flying over the forest. It’s bigger than the others, older and in a way she knows there’s something more about it. At its root there are stones, purple and glowing as well.

“Is that…” Lance says, but Allura has just moved forward. It has to be the quintessence, they all know it, and it feels surreal to see so many all in one place. What would Zarkon do with so much at his disposal?

Allura reaches down to take one of the stones but stops at the last second, looking at the tree. She stares for a second before bowing her head “May I?” she asks.

Nothing happens for a second before a gust of wind passes between them, caresses their hairs. It feels like permission.

Only then Allura takes the stone and stands up.  

They leave the forest behind with a little sample of quintessence and it feels strange still, surreal. They've just encountered a spirit, an actual living spirit, and they're trying to find some other mythological beasts to receive some kind of special power. It feels too strange, too absurd, and Pidge has always been too rooted in reality, in science, to accept it all.

She knows it's strange, in a world so full of spiritual connections, of energy, to be so interested in science, but she has always found comfort in it.

In the years after Zarkon’s conquest of almost every part of the civilized world, the only thing that had kept them from falling too far behind in the war had been science. The creation of cars, bunkers under the earth thanks to metalbending... she knows science, she can count on it.

Spirits? Voltron? She has no idea if she can.

"We'll stop in a little village just outside the desert," Coran says, looking at the map. "It is a very charming place, really. I encountered some travelling merchants that have given me some splendid recommendations."

"Just enough time to find something to eat and then we're out again," Allura reminds him, as strict as she always is. Or at least as she pretends to be.

Pidge doesn't know if the others have noticed anything—they don't seem to be the brightest bunch when it comes to feelings—but Allura has been acting weird ever since Slav had talked about Voltron. It could be, maybe, the desire to finally have a tangible weapon against Zarkon, but it feels like something more.

She doesn't know if she wants to push; in a way it doesn't feel like her place. Who's she to Allura? They are together out of convenience more than anything else. Pidge needs Keith to save Matt and that's all she really cares about.

Finding a way to defeat Zarkon and finally have her revenge feels more like a treat than anything else.

Travelling by Flying Bison is far more uncomfortable that she had ever thought and, most of all, it leaves no privacy.

She can see Lance and Hunk, talking quietly between themselves. There’s Keith, trying to stay as far away and as close as possible to Shiro, who's mostly looking at his only hand with an expression she can't really understand. She sees Coran glancing nervously at Allura, like he would like to say _something_ but he's not sure what.

They are all too focused on their problems to notice Pidge watching them. They're travelling together, but they are still far away from being a team.

She doesn't mind; she has never been a team kind of person.

They travel for two hours before Mousey squeaks and they can see the village on the horizon. Pidge extends her arm and pats the bison for a second. He must be tired, and she doesn't mind animals all in all, even if she does prefer to be on the ground.

"I don't think we should get closer," Shiro says, looking up. "Too much risk of being discovered."

Allura nods her agreement and instructs Mousey to land quietly.

They dismount quickly, with Hunk jumping away with a relieved sigh. Shiro also smiles a little when he touches the ground, and she understands both of them. She doesn't think anyone else could.

"Someone has to remain here, while the others will go and retrieve what we need," Coran says, looking at his map, "in case of emergency it’s better to have some back up with Mousey."

"His name is not..." Allura starts before sighing and just letting it go.

No one really says anything but, without really noticing, everyone looks at Shiro, expecting him to stay behind.

He's one of the most prominent members of the resistance and, if that wasn't enough, he doesn't have his arm anymore. He's also still recuperating, it just makes sense.

Shiro notices everyone's gazes on him and seems surprised for a moment, before his face hardens in one of the most annoyed faces Pidge has ever seen.

"No," he says, "I'm not going to stay here. What? I can go."

"Of course you can, but..." Lance starts, and maybe as their resident healbending expert the argument would carry more weight from him, but Shiro just _looks_ in his direction and the waterbender falls silent immediately.

Keith sighs and just shakes his head, like he already knows it's too late. Judging by Shiro's obstinate face, it probably is.

"I can stay," Hunk says, in the end. "I don't really mind. Also my stomach is still a little messed up from the journey so... I’ll set up camp."

Pidge looks at Hunk and tries to forget the retching noises she thinks she has heard before.

"Well, thank you, Hunk," Coran says with a smile. "If there is something we can get for you, do not hesitate to ask. I've heard there are some delicious snails here."

"Snails?" Keith asks, his face distorted in disgust. Coran doesn't seem to notice, or doesn't really care, and he just nods happily.

"Yes, they're quite the delicacy around here," the older man enthuses. "We should all try it!"

"No," Shiro says. "Just. No. I've been tortured for a year, eating snails is where I draw the line."

Everyone nods in solidarity and gratitude (after all, there is nothing Coran can say to top the tortured for a year card) and they start moving.

The village is an hour on foot from where they've landed and the road is silent. Even Lance doesn't seem to be in a talkative mood.

She wonders if everyone is thinking about what Slav had said, about this Voltron. They don't have an airbender and, from what she has understood, they need all the elements. But if they manage to find a Lionturtle specializing in airbending they can just ask him to teach it to Allura or Coran, just like he did in the past—if Slav's story is to be believed.

It still feels more like a fairytale, but at this point she can only hope.

The village is small, just a bundle of houses near the central square, and it feels like a place out of a century ago, without any of the technology that most of the Earth Kingdom possesses nowadays. She stretches her senses and she can't find any sign of metal. It's odd, in a way, for a place to be so behind.

At the same time it probably means that it's safe to stay here, that Zarkon's men have never reached this far near the desert and the chances of Shiro—or Keith—being recognized are minimal. She feels relieved.

She needs a little bit of normality, just a moment.

The only shop they find is small and not really stocked well, but they manage to find something to eat anyway, and they buy enough food and water to four days last, with some creativity. It's not enough, but had they taken more they would have probably left the village without enough to sustain themselves.

"I really wish we could have tried some of those snails," Coran says, while they're walking in the central square and Pidge tries to contain her gagging.

"We're already lucky we got this much," Keith says, shrugging, and he is right. Seeing the state of the shop it does feel lucky.

"Yeah, I mean, I know that we're pretty far away from civilization, but I'd never thought it would be this brutal," Lance agrees, looking around in concern.

"Almost a little too much," Shiro mumbles, looking at the bag of food they have bought and furrowing his brow.

"What is it?" Allura asks him, noticing the shift in his demeanor and immediately everyone stops, looking at Shiro.

"It's... maybe it's nothing. I might be a little..." he starts, before deciding that hesitating is stupid. "Ba Sing Se might be one of the last cities openly siding against Zarkon but a lot of little villages have made pacts with the Fire Empire. They give them food and money to be left alone."

For a second no one says anything and Keith looks around, trying to be discreet. "I don't remember this village but, yeah, there are some places that have that kind of deal. They would send me sometimes to collect things from villages near the base."

Lance looks at Keith, ready to say something along the lines of _Fire Empire traitor scum_ , probably, but if what Shiro and Keith are saying is true, they have to leave the village as soon as possible.

It's still unlikely that anyone could recognize them, but it's better if they don't tempt fate.

Everyone reaches the same conclusion at the same time and they start walking a little faster towards the outside of town. They have an hour of walking and then they can rest before resuming their journey.

When they've almost reached the outskirts of the village, a crash stops them and they look back to see someone being thrown out of a house. It's not difficult to see that the one that doing the throwing is a firebender; his flashy red clothes speak for themselves.

"You think this is enough?" the firebender is saying, full of contempt. Was it too much to ask to have this one thing go smoothly? Just for once Pidge would like for something to go her way.

"We have to move," Allura whispers and Pidge and Keith nod in agreement. Shiro and Lance look back, however, and Pidge can already see where this is going.

"No, we can't risk it," she says, hoping it will be enough. Hoping it's not too late to just make them _think_. They don't even know if this Voltron thing is going to work; they don't know if they have any chance of actually defeating Zarkon, or at least discovering his plans; and they can't just blow the entire thing to help a single village. Right?

"If we don't help them now," Lance says, "then this entire thing doesn't make sense!"

"Of course it does! We want to defeat Zarkon! It will help them all in the long run," Allura whispers, a little forcefully, going for Lance's arm.

He takes a step back. "No. This is just like in the prison, we can't just do nothing!"

Pidge knows the moment Lance says it that his voice is a little too loud and when she looks behind them she sees the firebender looking in their direction. _Shit_.

"I don't think we have much of a choice now," she says, positioning herself so she can bend some of the ground in front of her.

"What are you saying?" the firebender says, getting closer. Another one exits the house and now that she paying attention, she sees a little convoy with another firebender on the other side of the road. They're fucked. "I have never seen you around here and you don't look local, who..."

They can't be recognized and she can already see Keith reaching for his knife and Allura getting into a fighting stance.

She doesn't know about Coran and she's not sure how much Shiro can fight without his arm, but at the least they are four versus three. They just have to defeat them and then run as fast as they can.

Pidge advances, feels the ground move a little, almost following her in her concentration and she feels ready, focused.

"We're just travelers," Shiro says then, advancing. Pidge almost reaches out to stop him, but Keith is deadly calm where he stands and he’s usually the most jumpy when it comes to Shiro.

Yet Pidge doesn’t understand. As a rule earthbending usually is a style better suited for distant combat, so she doesn't know what Shiro is doing. Does he think he can convince them to forget about this encounter? That's probably impossible.

"Travelers? So close to the desert?" the firebender asks. "And where are you Fire Empire permits?"

"I have them in my bag," Shiro says, taking the bag of food and dropping to the ground. "Just let me get it" he says, kneeling down.

They don't have a permit and soon the firebenders will realize it, too. It will be a vicious fight so she readies herself, concentrates.

In the end she doesn't have to move a muscle.

Shiro kneels, but instead of going for the bag he earthbends the ground under the second firebender, launching him in the air and, at the same time, something happens to the ground. Rocks engulf Shiro's stump and shift themselves to become Shiro's second arm.

The firebender goes for a fire attack, but Shiro just encloses the other's hand with his rock arm and punches him, hard. The third firebender seems ready to join the action but Shiro stomps his foot on the ground and the third enemy gets completely devoured by rock. It's a gruesome spectacle, but at the same time she knows she enjoys it a little too.

Shiro punches the first firebender, the one still caught into the rock of Shiro's makeshift arm, and he goes limp, clearly knocked out.

It's over in a matter of seconds, really, and Pidge feels like she hasn't been breathing this whole time.

"Dude," Lance says behind her, "what the hell?"

Keith snorts, amused. "Good to see you can still use that. I was wondering"

Shiro simply smiles, letting go of the soldier, and the rock shifts again, forming a perfectly functional arm, with a rocky hand at the end, attached to Shiro's stump.

"I thought it would be less suspicious," he explains, looking at the groups of citizens that have stopped to watch them. "They're yours to do with what you want. We only ask for discretion. If someone asks, we were never here."

No one speaks for a second and then the one that had been thrown to the ground by the first firebender says, almost brought to tears, "I... thank you... we won't say anything, but can we know who you are?"

Pidge looks around but it’s clear no one really knows what to say. How should they respond? Is it too risky telling their names? Probably.

Then Lance smiles, a little cocky, and advances, standing on Shiro's left. "You can call us the Paladins of Voltron."

They have never discussed anything about that, and _paladins?_ Where did Lance get that from?

The villagers nod and thank them, and Pidge looks around.

She has to admit that _Paladins of Voltron_ has a nice ring to it.

 

 

 

The desert stretches in front of them for miles and miles and Lance is telling Hunk of their fight for the third time, more or less, and even he has to admit that this might be a little too much.

Hunk looks at the others, who are listening good-naturedly to the tale, and then he looks at Shiro's arm. It's impressive, that's for sure.

He doesn't know how he does it; Hunk uses both of his arms to fight, and it would feel strange to not have that support. But what does he know is he's certainly not a hero like Shiro is.

"And then," Lance says, with a shit-eating grin, and Hunk already knows what he's going to say, really, but he just smiles.

"Oh my God, Lance," Keith says from the other side of Mousey, "we were all there. Hunk has heard it enough times that he probably believes he was there."

Lance looks back at the other, annoyed. "I just want to make sure he doesn't feel excluded. And we're literally sitting on the other end of the bison. No listening."

"It's a flying bison! I can hear everything," Keith replies immediately and Hunk sighs. In their defense, they almost went two hours without fighting. It did feel a bit strange.

"Have we been here already?" Coran asks, peeking over the edge. "I think I've already seen that sand."

Hunk looks as well, but then looks at Coran, confused. "It looks just like any other sand."

"No, no, you see, I might not be a spiffy sandbender, but even I can tell there is something in the sand around here," Coran says. "The Lionturtle must be close!"

"The quintessence hasn't changed at all," Pidge informs them, looking at the stone in concentration. Allura looks back but then just looks forward again.

"We don't really know what it's supposed to do," she reasons. "Maybe it doesn't even glow. We can't really trust it."

"Slav told us it would react," Shiro says, looking at the stone from behind Pidge, "but nothing more."

Pidge shakes it a little and then tries to concentrate on it. "I can't bend it," she informs them and Hunk takes the damn stone away.

"Of course you can't bend it. Why are you even trying?" he says, looking at it. "Maybe it just gets hotter?" he tries, looking around, "or maybe we should use it to point around and see if it starts to vibrate!"

"It's not a stick to search for water," Keith grumbles, but Hunk doesn't even listen to him. They don't really know anything about what they are doing and it doesn't seem productive to just be negative. He looks back at the quintessence and touches it with one of his fingers.

It's purple and sparkly and it feels almost alive in his hands. He can't really explain it, but it's like there is a force here, something that is longing to get out.

He looks for a second and then furrows his brow. What is this sound? Hunk looks around, surprised. "Do you hear that?" he asks Lance. His friend looks confused for a second before shaking his head.

["](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002916750/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith)[I don't hear anything but wind and sand, really,](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002937640/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith)" he says. But the noise is getting stronger and...

Hunk looks back at the quintessence and just brings the stone to his ear. When the noise becomes louder he pushes the stone away quickly, so quickly that he almost loses his grip.

"Careful!" Keith hisses.

"The quintessence talks!" he replies, because what the _fuck_?

"What?" Pidge says, scrambling towards him, taking the stone from him and putting it against her ear as well. She stays silent for a second before her eyes widen. "It's not talking. It's... like sea shells?" she tries, but then she looks confused. "But I really couldn't hear anything before..."

"Maybe we're getting closer," Shiro says, looking ahead. "Allura, try changing course. If the noise changes we'll know we're on the right track”.

Allura nods and signals to Mousey to turn right. Hunk moves to sit beside Pidge and puts an ear to the quintessence, too.

The sound quiets a little and Hunk almost does a victory dance. Finally, something they have figured out.

"Turn back," he tells Allura, and when she does the stone sings again.

"Hunk, you're a genius!" Lance says, patting him on his back and Hunk smiles, happy. Even Keith is almost smiling, pleased.

Allura makes Mousey fly a little faster and the indefinite noise they have been hearing until now gets stronger and stronger until what he can hear is a thundering roar.

Now he can stand back and he keeps hearing it. The volume is so strong that he thinks even Keith can hear it now.

"We're getting super close," he tells Allura who, in turn, looks around frantically. Hunk does so as well, but all they can see is sand, sand and more sand.

There doesn't seem to be anything special about it. It certainly doesn't look like an ancient spirit, which is a bummer.

"What do you say, Coran?" Lance says, raising one eyebrow. "Some kind of wisdom from the sandbender?"

The older man squints his eyes, looking around. "I don't understand, I've studied spirits all my life. I should be able to tell what is real sand and what is a Lionturtle."

"You don't even know what a Lionturtle is," Allura reminds him and Coran looks at her, appalled by the (true) accusation.

It's a funny scene and Hunk almost laughs, but the volume of the roar goes up so much that he has to cover his ears to protect himself.

"How do we make it stop?" Lance asks, yelling to be heard over the noise. He can see everyone else covering their ears just like them and Hunk grimaces.

"I don't know," Hunk says, before Mousey starts descending at full speed. Covering up their ears while trying to keep themselves from falling from a Flying Bison is even more difficult than it sounds.

"It's hurting Mousey, too," Pidge screams unnecessarily.

When they hit the ground it's much softer than what Hunk had feared. He gets thrown off Mousey, but the sand breaks his fall nicely and it only hurts a little, instead of the certain death he had been expecting. He's trying to stay positive.

Still, he really needs to puke.

"This is why I don't like flying!" he screams, because he really needs to make a note. It takes a second to realize that the sound has stopped.

He blinks twice, just to be sure, and then he looks up, surprised.

There is nothing around them for miles and miles. He would know; they have been flying for at least six hours.

"Why has it stopped?" Lance asks, after a while, but no one seems to have the answer.

Allura, the only one that managed to remain on Mousey, is stroking his fur and comforting him. Pidge adjusts her glasses and then looks at the stone. "There are two possibilities: the Lionturtle moved or... or we're exactly where we should be."

Everyone looks around too, then, and they seem to arrive at the same conclusion Hunk has: there is nothing here.

"This is impossible," Keith spits, jumping up. "Hunting magical creatures in deserts is not how we will win this war," he continues and he's angry, it's palpable. It's almost eerie seeing the flames sparking around him, as if he doesn’t even notice.

"It's the only thing we can do," Allura reminds him, stern.

"No! We can fight!" Keith gesticulates wildly in his fervor. "Look around you. Don't tell me this doesn't look like a fucking impossible mission! You have the quintessence you wanted, let's do things like you wanted to do them."

No one talks for a second, too stunned to say anything, and then Coran sighs and stands up as well. "Okay, yes, why don't we just calm down a second? It would do everyone—" he starts, but has to stop when the sand beneath their feet starts to shake. "Is this the terrible worm of the sand here to feast on our flesh?"

"The what now? No one talked about this worm!" Hunk screams, looking around. It's the only reason why he registers the fact that they are moving, really and he's too stunned to say anything for six whole seconds.

"Hunk, don't worry, there is no—" Shiro starts (and it's a lie, it's evident) but Hunk finally makes his head start again.

"We're moving!" he says, because he's pretty sure quicksand doesn't work this way.

Again everyone looks immediately around them, trying to see if he's telling the truth. He is and they are moving, if he looks to the horizon he can see it shifting slightly to the right. The sand they're standing on, it's moving. It takes a second for them to figure it out and when Pidge looks at their feet and says, quietly, "The Lionturtle of Earth," they all know what it means.

"Well, at least our quintessence isn't broken," Lance says with a confused smile. It's true, but at the same time they don't know how to catch the Lionturtle's attention.

From what Slav had told them, a Lionturtle had to be massive enough to have entire cities on its back. They could be far, far away from the head.

"No one here can sandbend, right?" Hunk asks, even if he already knows the answer. When everyone stays silent, he's still disappointed.

Allura falls to her knees and tries to get as deep as possible. Her hands are deep into the sand before she grimaces. "Still nothing," she says when she's elbow deep.

Why can't anything ever go right with them? He asks himself the question, a little bitterly.

They stay silent for a second before Shiro advances and takes the quintessence. "Do you think we can make it go crazy again?" he asks, looking at them. "It was enough to disturb Mousey, maybe it might be enough to get his attention.”

It's not a bad idea, but Hunk isn't even sure how he activated it in the first place.

"Walk forward," the stone says from Shiro’s hand and it's his grip that slips this time, too

surprised to do anything else.

"Did the spiritual stone that almost deafened us just talk?" Lance asks, with a little bit of hysteria in his voice.

Can this day get any weirder?

"Should we do as it says?" Coran asks, looking around for confirmation.

"I do love taking advices from rocks," Shiro says, with a confused but still optimistic smile.

No one says out loud what everyone is thinking, how this could all be some kind of trap or a waste of time.

"We don't have anything else to go on," Allura reasons after a second and then she starts walking forward, looking back at Pidge. "Forward we go."

Everyone else nods with a little bit of hesitancy, but she doesn't seem to notice and she keeps looking forward, without glancing at them even once.

So they follow her, because what else can they do, stranded in the middle of a desert?

 

 

 

The thing is, Lance feels excited. It's like he can't stop twitching, but at the same time he knows this could be a bad thing; he's not stupid. How can they know that it's really safe for them to follow this voice? They're not even sure they can trust Slav, if he's being honest. But it's what they have chosen, it's what he had in mind when he had asked Hunk to accompany him and he can't just stop here.

He looks around and he sees that everyone else is as tense as he is. Normally he would try to lighten up the mood, maybe make a little joke, but he doesn't feel like it's the right time. He doesn't really know what he should say anyway.

"Stop," a voice says at one point and they all look at the rock, surprised. They look around but nothing seems different about this patch of sand and the ground beneath their feet isn't moving anymore.

"What?" Lance says, standing beside Pidge. "Is this thing broken? There's nothing here!".

Pidge shrugs but she doesn't say anything, probably as confused as he is. It's true that they don't know much more than he does, but he feels like someone should be able to give them some kind of guidance, someone better than a difficult spirit that doesn't even believe they can do it.

"You just don't know how to look.” The ground trembles and Lance almost loses his footing. He reaches out and finds Hunk's arm and just tries to stay upright. The others seems to be in the same position and he sees Shiro reaching for Pidge, stopping her from falling with the rock in tow. Coran tries to help Allura but she shakes her head and stays put.

He doesn't know what Keith is doing because the moment he starts to turn towards him he finally sees the reason why the ground is shaking. A terrifying face is emerging from the sand. The face of a lion, severe and unflinching, stares at them and Lance is really proud of himself for not screaming, really.

 _Is this the Lionturtle?_ he wonders, is this what they have been searching for?

It feels humbling in a way. The head of the spirit is even bigger than Mousey's entire body and looking in the eyes of the beast it really sinks in how far out of their league they are.

"I might be fainting." Hunk looks a little pale but Lance can't really focus on him beyond squeezing his arm in sympathy. Lance might be fainting too, if he's being honest.

"Are you the Lionturtle of Earth?" Allura asks, advancing slightly. "Slav sent us!"

The beast turns its head and it stops rising. There is a mountain on its back, like a mini sand mountain, and now he can understand what Slav meant when he said that humans lived on Lionturtles’ backs.

The Lionturtle's head is yellow and it has the face of a lion but the body of a turtle, with the mountain on its back serving as the shell.

"I am," the beast roars—or says, but it sounds more like a roar to them. "And I do know why you are here. The spirit stone told me."

"The what now?" Pidge asks, looking at the quintessence and holding it out to the spirit. "You mean the quintessence?"

The beast nods, its enormous head moving slowly but with conviction. "Yes. The spirit stone." It seems it's not really interested into explaining further, and Lance can see Pidge is dying for answers. Lance understands her, this all feels so strange, so alien, and he wonders how is it possible that this is his life.

"Great Lionturtle," Coran interrupts, moving forward. "Oh great spirit, great and sage being, listen to our prayer and our questions and give us your immortal power!"

No one talks for a second before Keith asks, confused, "What are you doing?"

"I'm talking to a great spirit with the respect he deserves." He grinds his teeth and just looks back to the spirit. "We want to show you our respect and our-"

It's Allura that interrupts him, surprising almost no one. "We need your help, we need to know how to form Voltron and defeat Zarkon."

"Does he even know who Zarkon is?" Lance whispers to Hunk, confused and is surprised when the bellowing voice of the beast thunders again.

"I do know who the Zarkon you speak of is. He has hunted my kind, trying to find my remaining brothers and sisters," it says, with a profound sorrow in its voice. "There aren't many more remaining."

"Good!" Pidge chimes in. "I mean, not good, but you can help us, right? You can make this right!"

"However, what you ask me is something I can't give freely," the breast continues, without reacting to Pidge's plea. "It is a power too great to give to humans."

"But we have to try!" Allura pushes, almost screams. "We have to! It's... please"

The Lionturtle doesn't say anything for a second, and it seems it's not really interested in Allura's plea either. Is it really useless? Was this all for nothing? "I understand," Shiro says, from behind. "you don't know us. The last person you've probably interacted with has hunted your kind but we... what can we do to make you believe us?

"We have all lost so much," he continues, "and we've all known first hand the cruelty he's capable of. You might not want to give the power to humans, but I don't think you have any choice."

"Whoa, Shiro, buddy, don't antagonize the millennial spirit," Lance tries before Keith joins in because _of course he does_.

"If you don't give us what you want you'll only be a coward," he screams, full of rage and indignation.

"You're threatening me, when I could just leave you here to fend for yourself?"

"If you wanted that," Shiro says, shrugging, "you wouldn't have shown up in the first place."

Lance blinks, surprised for a second and then realizes Shiro is right. The beast had no real reason for showing up. They would have never found it under the sand. They aren't sandbenders and they would have just flown in circles for days before giving up. There was no real reason for the Lionturtle to arrive.

"You want to tell us all your spiritual secrets!" Lance exclaims, pointing to the spirit. "You're just trying to see if we're motivated enough or some kind of bullshit! Dude, we've just flown over a shitload of sand!"

No one says anything for a second before Pidge says, with a little hysteria in her voice, "Do you even know how much I hate sand?"

"I... I don't think that's the point," Coran tries, coughing slightly. "We should be a little more-"

It’s Hunk’s turn and he prepares himself. “We might be scared, terrified really, but if we don't do this... If you don't tell us what we have to do... I don't think anyone else will."

The beast stays silent for a second before it raises a paw, as big as an entire building (okay, maybe Lance is exaggerating a little, but he's a little freaked out) and just points one of its clawed fingers at them. It’s an action that makes him go for his flask, ready to attack, even if he's not sure he could even touch the thing.

"You're very stupid, but very bright," it says, and Lance might be imagining things but it looks like it's laughing. "I will not judge you all, I will not speak for the others, but I will give you what you need from me. The three children of the earth, move forward. I will give you the blessing of the ground."

Lance looks surprised for a second and then looks at his three companions. It makes sense, he thinks, that the Lionturtle wants to talk with the representatives of his element, but at the same time they aren't still sure that they can really trust it.

"I will go first," Shiro declares, moving quickly. Lance sees Keith starting to move as well, but aborting his stride immediately, as if ashamed.

"Wait," Pidge says, frowning. "What does this blessing mean?"

The Lionturtle stays silent for only a second before nodding. "To form Voltron, your bending does not suffice. Your power is the result of years and years of the divine blessing being passed on from human to human, but it has lost most of his power. You've been limited by time and physical restrictions. The blessing will free you, and your powers."

Everyone adjust to the new information and Lance looks down at his flask with a heavy rock on his chest. Is this the reason, he wonders. When his turn comes, will he finally be a full-fledged Bender?

"Can you restore my connection to metalbending?" Shiro's voice is grave, serious, but doesn't betray any emotion. It hurts even more like this.

The Lion extends its paw again and one of its massive fingers lands gently on Shiro's forehead. "What has been done to you is not something that is in my power to reverse," it says, and it sounds almost apologetic. "What I can do is make you stronger with the connection you still have. The potential that you have."

Shiro looks on and just nods, as if the revelation leaves him unmoved. How would it feel to have the power to control metal at his fingertips and then have it suddenly vanish? It's like one day Lance wakes up and finds out he can't healbend. It feels terrible, the very idea paralyzes him.

Something then shines on the tip of the beast's claw and it's done as soon as it starts, not even twenty seconds.

"Next" the lion calls, and Pidge scrambles up, pushing Shiro away.

"Me!" she declares. "I need the power to save my family. My brother and my father. I need it."

The spirit nods and gravely recites, "I give you the blessing of the earth." The same light shines over her for five seconds max and disappears as well.

"Just one remaining," the Lion tells them, before looking straight at Hunk.

"Do I... do I really need to?" his friend asks. "I don't really want to form this Voltron? We're not even sure how anyway, are three earthbenders really necessary? That feels a little bit like overkill."

Everyone looks at him and then back to the Lion. It's a fair question, do they need more people to form Voltron? Will Lance and Keith suffice as waterbender and firebender? They can't find another firebender, but maybe they can recruit a waterbender?

"Is it not fate that has brought you here in front of me?" the spirit asks then. "Is it not fate that has caused you to meet? Voltron isn't just a feat of skill. If you only use your head or your Bending you will not be able to call forth his glory."

"That... seems arbitrary," Lance comments, frowning, "and way vague. What does that even mean? What do we need?"

"That is something only you can answer. Now come forward, child of the ground, I have no time to waste." Hunk hesitates a second before moving, slowly.

The Lionturtle must have been losing its patience and the sand beneath their feet moves, propelling Hunk in front of the spirit.

"I give you the blessing of the earth," the beast says and again it touches its claw to Hunk's forehead. "You have hidden potential not yet shown, child. The molten rock and the scorching heat burn inside you."

"The what and the who?" Hunk asks, but the Lion retracts its paw and doesn't answer.

"You've all been blessed. I won't give you all the other powers, for a human is supposed to have only one blessing at his disposal."

"But... what about the Avatar?" Allura asks, surprising everyone.

The Lion turns towards her and remains silent for a second. "There is no Avatar anymore."

"What?" Has Lance just screamed that? Oh. Well, it doesn't matter, it's not like someone still believes that the Avatar would wake up to save them, not really, but at the same time hearing it said so bluntly is a shock. Many people have hypothesized that Zarkon did something to the preceding Avatar to break the Avatar cycle, but no one has ever been sure.

It feels terrible to know for sure now, to be certain that the whole world really falls on their shoulders alone.

"I know that," Allura says, however, shocking almost everyone. "But wouldn't it be better to make another Avatar?"

"What made an Avatar special was not the ability to master the four elements," the Lion reprimands her, "but their will."

"I have will!" Allura screams. There something wrong, Lance thinks, looking between them. This whole conversation seems off and strange, but what can it mean?

"But you are no Avatar," the Lionturtle says and it doesn’t say it to hurt, even if it's obvious this is the effect it makes. Allura is almost trembling, and she seems closed off, enraged. Does she want to be the next Avatar? This much? Why? "I will tell you, now, where to find the rest of my kind. We are disseminated in the four nations. One in the great sky near the Eastern Air Temple, one in the deep sea of the North Water Pole and the last one in the lava of the volcano in the west side of the Fire territory," the lion says. "You will need all the blessings to form Voltron. A mix of spiritual and physical, of strength and weakness. Every part of you will form the base for the final result."

"That still doesn't make any sense!" Lance is getting really tired of cryptic bullshit.

"It will," is all the beast says, before starting to descend into the sand again. "I have nothing more to give you. And it will be night soon. Run along, now."

And before they can really stop it there is no more trace of it, swallowed by the sand sea.

"Does someone even know what all of that was?" Lance wonders out loud. The silence is probably answer enough.

 

 

 

"So," Lance asks when they're back on Mousey, "how does it feel to have _the blessing_?" He tries to imitate the spirit’s voice.

The three earthbenders look at each other for a second, trying to see what anyone else feels about the whole ordeal, and it seems they reach a consensus.

"I can't feel any difference, really," Hunk admits, a little guiltily. "Maybe it didn't work?"

"That's impossible, that was one of the ancient spirits. I could almost feel his power," Coran reprimands them.

Keith shakes his head, and looks at Shiro. He doesn't care much about all this nonsense if he's being honest. He still thinks that maybe they could have walked away, but what the spirit has told them, the knowledge that Shiro will never get his Bending back, will never be whole again, sits heavily on his stomach.

 _See?_ it seems to say. _You don't deserve him. Whatever it is you're feeling you should stay away_.

The first memory he has of Shiro, now that he thinks about it, is nothing special. Just another prisoner, just someone walking by, being transferred from cell to cell. He doesn't even know why he remembers it. He just has this image of Shiro walking by, back straight and never straying.

He can't help but feel like he has taken him and destroyed him, little by little, a slow degradation. The fact that Shiro seems to have come out even stronger than before isn't a real reason not to feel guilty for the fact.

"But it really doesn't feel any different," Pidge tells them. "I mean it's not like I can feel the whole earth now. And I certainly can't sandbend."

"Maybe you should try and use it when we stop somewhere?" Lance tries, but he looks unsure as well.

"We don't have time for stopping. The closest other Lionturtle should be in the Air Nomad temple. We have to get there as soon as possible," Allura informs them, seated in the guiding seat.

"We don't even know if this thing works," Hunk says, looking at his own hand, "and I mean what did you think he meant with all that... thing..."

No one talks for a moment, unsure, and, as he had seen him do with prisoners falling into desperation, Shiro takes command.

"I think we should stop before reaching the temple," he says in a serious tone. "We need to understand how this works before requesting another blessing. Especially if it's the Air Spirit." He sounds sure, but Keith knows him well enough to see that this has affected him more than he likes to admit.

It's strange for Keith, being this attuned to someone. It comes from nights with no sort of light, trying to read the other's mood by voice and little movements alone. As terrible as it is, he misses those moment sometimes, everything had seemed clearer then.

"We don't..." Allura starts, but she pauses when Coran just puts a hand on her back. He doesn't say anything, but it seems to be enough for her to stop.

"Our Mousey can't do the whole journey in one single swoop anyway. Taking a little bit more time to make him rest doesn't seem to be a bad idea. A good leader takes care of his people." Keith looks at Allura as she deflates, almost as if Coran's words had drained her of all her strength.

Mousey squeaks under them in encouragement. Allura bends a little and pats the bison lightly and she whispers something into his ears that Keith doesn't get. "She's not bad," Shiro whispers to him, his voice low into his ears. "Just a little bit too focused."

Keith stills, trying not to show how Shiro's voice, having him so close, is affecting him. He doesn't know if it even helps. The other had always been better at reading people than him. No one else is looking at them and it's a small comfort, a moment of privacy.

"She's too hard on everyone," he huffs and Shiro nods. His smile is a little forced, but it's there.

"It's not easy feeling like you have to be in charge," he simply states, as if their conversation is over. Normally Keith would let him have it, but right now he just doesn't want this to be over.

"How are you?" he asks, and he doesn't know what he's asking exactly. Is he asking if his muscles are still sore? If he's still shocked by the knowledge that he has lost a part of him, probably forever? Is he asking if he meant what he had said days ago in the garden by moonlight?

Maybe a little bit of everything.

Shiro takes his time before answering, looking at his hand and then at Keith himself. He's not rushing his answer and this is enough to make Keith on edge.

"I feel fine." It doesn't seem to be what he actually wants to say, but he doesn't let Keith prod him and just goes to talk with Pidge.

It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, like he has missed something, a clue that just flew him by.

It's at that time that they start to descend, just at the edge of the desert. It doesn't feel like it has just been two days since they've set forward on this journey. Four days in total since he has met these people.

How has his entire life become such a mess? "We'll stop here for the night. Hopefully we're far enough from the village that we won't have to worry about Fire Empire troops," Allura proclaims when they touch ground. Mousey lets out a satisfied squeak and everyone starts descending immediately.

"Oh God, I have missed you, ground," Hunk says, a little dramatically.

"We need to set up camp," Coran says with a little nod towards him and Lance. "Why don't we do that while they figure out this whole blessing thing?"

Keith looks at Lance and just shrugs. "I'm going to pick up wood for a fire."

"Fire! Great idea, Keith!" Coran tells him while Keith ignores him and just goes to try and find some things to burn. He looks back and sees Shiro and Hunk talking. He feels the need to stop, look for a little while longer, but he fights it and just keeps moving.

It takes more time than he thought to gather a good amount of usable wood, and when he goes back he's not surprised to see the three earthbenders side by side, trying out their Bending.

Keith goes to where Allura, Lance, and Coran are setting up the camp and just lets go of the wood. He wants to ask what's going on, if they have made any progress, but he knows Allura and Lance aren't his biggest fans. He understands why; he finds their actions a lot more comprehensible than Shiro’s or Coran’s.

"Thank you, Keith! With this we should be able to avoid freezing to death tonight!" Coran says when he sees the amount of wood he has brought, even if it's mostly a collection of twigs and already fallen pieces of trees. "We can use what we have bought at the village to eat. But I fear there isn't much we can do for sleeping."

Keith has slept in worse places, but when he opens his mouth to say something it's Lance that beats him to the punch. "I'm sorry if it offends your Fire Empire sensibility."

"I slept with you on the ground the first night," he can't help but point out, even if maybe he should just let it go.

"Yeah, well, you were still acting then," Lance spits out to his face and Keith rages for a second. He can feel the licks of flame, the comfortable feelings of energy being burned and transformed, and it would be _so easy_ to just attack now.

He stops and walks away without saying anything.

It's true that, in the end, he has chosen this. There has never been any doubt in his mind that people will never accept him knowing who he is, but it still feels a little unfair. He hasn't chosen to be born like this, and he hasn't always made the best decisions, maybe, but he’s trying now.

It doesn't really seem to matter.

"I did it!" Hunk screams, out of the blue, and Keith looks back, surprised, [to see a jet of lava go up from the ground](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002967525/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith). Molten rock and heat fly everywhere.

Right. The blessing.

"Hunk! That's incredible!" someone screams, excited and then Lance is running and hugging his friend "lavabenders are incredibly rare!"

"I don't.... how is this possible?" Hunk asks, surprised, looking at the ground like it's going to swallow it.

"How does it feel? How is it?" Pidge presses on, moving towards the two, and it seems like she fits. Looking at them, they have an easy friendship. They don't hate each other based solely on birth.

"I don't know! Shiro just told me to focus on the heat and..." Hunk starts to explain, looking at Shiro with wonder.

"I didn't... It works a little like metalbending, I was told, so I just tried..." he explains, and shrugs when Pidge asks if he can teach her, too.

He gets why Shiro was immediately accepted into the group. After all he was taken by the man immediately himself, but it does still feel strange, being the outsider looking in.

Shiro looks up at that moment and catches his eye. It's fleeting because Keith looks away immediately, a little ashamed of being caught.

He looks at Allura, also a little apart from the others, watching them but not joining in. He doesn't know what her problem is, why she is like this, so aggressive and angry all the time. Maybe in other circumstances they could have been friends. They certainly do seem to have a lot in common.

"That is incredible, young earthbender. Just like one of the Avatars, yes. I do believe it is an incredible accomplishment! To be honored by eating my cooking!" Coran says, content. "I will try to make something appropriate out of what we have bought!"

"Wait, no!" Hunk blocks him immediately. "I can cook. I love to cook. Keith can give me a hand! Right?"

Keith blinks, surprised to be called upon, but nods anyway. "Yeah, sure. If it helps," he says, and just follows the other.

He doesn't miss the strange looks on Lance and Pidge's faces, but there is nothing he can do and soon they get distracted by Shiro.

"Thank you!" Hunk says immediately, smiling. "We might be literally saving everyone's life"

"Are you sure you want my help?" Keith can't help but ask, a little confused. "I mean..." and then, for lack of anything to say, he just lights some wood on fire, so that they can cook.

Hunk looks at the little fire and then, with a smile, starts taking some of their provisions from the bag. "That's exactly why I want your help. We need the fire." Keith concedes the point and just nods, ready to help control the flame and nothing else, when Hunk continues, "And... I know you're not a bad person, you know?"

His voice is feeble, like he's a little embarrassed, and Keith has to strain itself to hear it. He looks at the other, surprised, and remembers why he had thought that Hunk was the one he liked more in the group.

"I don't think Lance agrees with you," he tells him, not unkindly, and Hunk doesn't even try to defend his friend, knowing it's not really something one can deny.

"He just doesn't have the best experience with firebenders," he explains, working quietly and dutifully. "I'm not trying to say you have to forgive him, but... I know he can act overconfident and a little annoying, but he's a better guy than he seems."

Keith stays silent for a second and tries to understand how to best reply to this. He has never been good with words or other people, but maybe he can make an effort here. It seems to be worth it.

"I don't blame him," he decides to say, in the end. "I know that my people have done a lot of bad things and I can’t say I’m surprised when people are... wary of me.”

"But being judged solely on what other people have done must be frustrating after a while." Hunk’s voice is kind while he says it and Keith is grateful for him. He's also right.

He knows that he can't really blame Lance or Allura, that maybe he too would be so hateful in their regards should the situation be reversed, but at the same time knowing something and accepting them are different things.

"I'm trying," is what he says, in the end, but he's not even sure why he's saying all of this.

"I know, I just wanted to say it's not going unnoticed by _everyone,_ ” Hunk interjects with a laugh and Keith finds himself smiling back.

"Only by some, people less bright than others." He tries to tease a little and Hunk laughs harder.

"Dude, you're even trying to be funny. We're having all kinds of bonding moments here," and yeah, they are. The smile on his face is small, but it's there and it feels almost out of place.

They keep cooking mostly in silence, but it's okay. Keith doesn't need much else.

 

 

 

The night passes without too much of a stir. They leave early the next morning, only to stop again before night comes.

The temple is three days away from where they are and besides Hunk learning to lavabend it doesn't seem like the _blessing_ has had any real impact on their capabilities. Shiro wonders what that means, were they made fun of? Or was there something else? Is there something they are lacking?

"We'll stop in the Western Air Temple," Coran is saying, looking at the map. "It should be abandoned, and then we'll start the search from there, following the first Lionturtle's indications."

"We still haven’t talked about what we will do with this one," Pidge says, glancing around. "I mean, no one is an airbender here, and the first Lionturtle didn't really give us any ideas on what we really need to form Voltron. Do we need like more people for all the Bendings? Or just one suffices? And..." it seems she won't stop talking anytime soon and Shiro puts a hand on her shoulder, placating her.

"I think we will have to ask this spirit for clarification. We've been trying to think about it for three days. It's useless." And they have been thinking about it, day and night, without really stopping. It seems to be too complicated for them.

"And regarding the airbending..." Coran starts, but then doesn't continue, almost as if he's afraid of something.

"What is it, old man?" Lance asks, curious, and Coran is almost ready to scream _he's not an old man_ when Allura looks back.

"We have an airbender," she states bluntly, her voice as cold as ice (no, not ice, steel: dangerous and deadly).

Shiro digests the news as best as he can and wonders if there is really something to say about it. He has never seen her fight, but in a way it seems to be fate that has brought them together with what probably is the last airbender alive.

"Who?" Hunk asks, confused, and Shiro would almost laugh if it wasn't so out of place.

"She means her, Hunk," Keith says, quickly, without any inflection in his voice. He's trying to stay calm, controlled, and it usually means he's anything but.

Shiro sneaks a glance at him, trying to be inconspicuous. They have never talked about the genocide of the Air Nomads, but, knowing Keith, is difficult to imagine that it doesn’t weigh heavily on his shoulders, a burden of guilt not of his making.

"What?" Lance and Pidge scream almost at the exact time, loudly.

Shiro wonders if they hadn't noticed the strange way Allura has been acting the past several days, and if they had, how this revelation could be this surprising.

Shiro had been wondering, maybe he hadn't been really thinking that Allura was already an airbender, but surely she wanted to be one. He wonders if this is the reasons why she seems to be the one that can't even look at Keith.

"Well, yes, Princess Allura is the last airbender. At least that I know of," Coran confirms, and he keeps looking at Allura, like he doesn't really know what to say or what to do.

There might be even more to the story, although Shiro can't really understand what more could there be.

"That's! That's!" Lance blabbers, still too surprised to really say anything, and it seems that Hunk is so surprised he can't even make a noise. "You told us you had no bending abilities!"

Allura doesn't look back, squaring her shoulders. "I know."

"Why?" This time is Pidge that seems confused and surprised. "A lot of people would have liked to know! You could have convinced everyone at the meeting had you just told them that you were an airbender!"

Shiro knows bits and pieces of how they all met, just some stories picked up here and there, and he can understand Pidge's confusion in a way, but he knows what it means to fear for his life. To feel like you have no one.

"Sometimes you don't have a choice," Keith murmurs behind him. Keith too knows it well, how dangerous it could be to reveal who you really are. That sometimes lying is the only right thing to do.

"You lied to save your own skin, because you're Fire Empire scum" Lance rounds back on Keith, fuming. "Allura is nothing like you."

"I'm not," the newly-revealed airbender confirms, "but I couldn't trust you. I'm sorry I deceived you, but it was necessary."

Shiro nods, but the apology isn’t for him; he knows that well. He thinks that it's funny how everyone in this team seems to be lying about something.

Pidge about her gender and her name, Keith and Allura about their abilities, and Shiro about how much his ordeal is weighing on his mind. Only Hunk and Lance seem to have been always honest. He's almost sorry for them.

"I can't believe this!" Lance exclaims, looking around and unknowingly echoing Shiro’s thoughts. "Are any of you even real? Is you name really Allura at least?"

"Of course her name is Allura, the princess would not lie about that," Coran responds, a little bit offended.

"And what's with the _Princess_?" Pidge presses, her brow furrowed.

This seems to be going more into interrogation territory and Shiro doesn't think Allura is ready for that. "Okay, stop. Do you really need to know?" he asks, trying to keep his voice gentle but firm. "She has her reasons, but you didn't want to reveal yours either, right?"

Pidge starts to answer but in the end she deflates, conceding the point. Hunk and Lance seems to be whispering between themselves, but at least they're not bothering Allura.

Shiro pushes back, his shoulders touching the seat and just tries to breath for a second. He feels Keith leg pressing lightly on his side and he doesn't move, afraid to bring Keith's attention to it.

He doesn't know what this touch means, his relationship with Keith is ambiguous as best right now, and sometimes he feels like Keith is a little scared animal he has to be very careful of.

They don't move for the rest of the trip and when they arrive at the Eastern Air Temple they are slow to dismount.

Pidge, Lance, and Hunk scatter around immediately, fascinated by the relics of a lost world. Keith hangs back, far away from Allura, being sure to give her a wide berth. Coran seems to be incredibly excited, talking about the incredible pieces of the Air Nomads’ history.

Allura is alone, petting Mousey and looking lost and afraid. Shiro moves before he has even realized it. He had promised himself to leave it alone, but he can't in the end.

"No one really blames you," Shiro says, in the end. "Your family must have been hiding for a long, long time. Sometimes it becomes incredibly difficult to stop."

Allura doesn't react, doesn't even acknowledge his presence, even when Mousey sniffs towards him in greeting.

She's angry and probably scared, and Shiro is the most alien to her. They haven't really talked that much. He has bonded with Hunk thanks to their shared bending, Pidge for Matt, and Lance because of his healing abilities, but Allura had always kept herself distant from them. He now knows why, he supposes.

"I'm sorry this all happened to you," he says in the end, even if they feel like empty words. If someone had said it to him he would have laughed in their face.

"That doesn't make it better," Allura replies, anger and fire in her voice. She seems to be barely controlling herself and maybe what he had identified as sadness was just barely contained ire.

“No, it doesn’t,” he agrees, because what else can he say? He knows they have been dealt the worst hand, all of them, and they are just trying to do the best with what they’ve got.

Allura keeps petting Mousey, without looking at him, and Shiro wonders if he should just go now when she speaks again. “It was already a risk asking a group of people I didn’t know to join on that mission.” She looks ahead, as if she’s ready for Shiro to tell her off. “And I was right, it doesn’t matter how much you trust him, Keith is a firebender. If he was here anyone could have been. And telling them who I am…”

Shiro understands, has understood even before she had said it, but he thinks she needs someone to forgive her. He’s not her first choice probably, but he will give her all the support that he can.

“I understand. Keith does too,” he adds, because even if she wants to pretend she doesn’t care, he can see that it’s all a farce, a way to protect herself. He wonders if she has ever really relaxed around them, or ever.

Allura looks back at him for the first time and there is something vulnerable in her eyes. “I didn’t want to save you, you know? The mission… it was too important.”

He’s not exactly surprised, he has heard Lance and Keith bicker enough that it isn’t news, but he nods, acknowledging what she’s trying to say. How old is she? She seems clumsy in her role now that she’s not focused on marching forward without thinking about the consequences.

“I’m sorry for that. I never said it. And I’m sorry if I was ever too strict. I’m…” she stops, as if she doesn’t know what to say.

“You’re doing the best you can,” is what he supplies her in the end, taking her hand. “It’s what we are all doing. And no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but we’re doing our best”.

She looks at their hands and for a second Shiro wonders if she’s going to remove hers, a silent rejection of the companionship he’s offering. Their suffering can’t be compared, but it has never been a race. They’re all broken and it doesn’t matter how deeply or how many scars they have, what matters is if they can make the pieces fit. In the end Allura squeezes his hand, shyly.

“My best has never been good enough,” she warns him, truth and a little bit of humor slipping through.

Shiro thinks about his metalbending, about Haggar’s face in front of him, about nightmares that never end. “Mine either.”

 

 

 

She doesn't rest much that night. Nightmares plague her sleep and every time she closes her eyes something creeps behind them. It might be where they are sleeping, the feeling of her people, dead for years, looking at her and judging her every move.

 _This is the last of our kind_ , they probably whisper to themselves, _what a disgrace_. She wouldn't know how to reply to that; after all it's true that she has accomplished nothing in all this time. Even now she's traveling around the world with people she doesn't even trust, hoping to form a magical being to defeat Zarkon. She doesn't know what she's doing, and she's just so tired.

Everyone awakens early the next day, ready to search for the next Lionturtle, and she wonders if she's still in time to call this off. She's not, she knows that, but she thinks about it.

"Uhm," someone says, and she looks back to see Lance, Hunk and Pidge looking at her. Lance fidgets a little before speaking "Look we know we haven't known each other long. And we get why you didn't tell us anything."

"I didn't say anything about who I was when we met," Pidge points out with an encouraging smile.

"Yes, exactly, thank you, Pidge. What we mean is that we're with you and we're not angry." Lance looks nervous but determined while he talks and Hunk is at his side, like he always is, nodding along.

She wants to smile, but they don't even know the whole story. They deserve to know the truth and she doesn't have the courage to give it to them. "Thank you," is all she can say, burdened by all her secrets. "I appreciate it."

Maybe she could tell them; what would it matter at this point? She might not trust Keith completely even now, but he already knows her most dangerous secret. She knows she won't say anything anyway, because the last secret she has isn't dangerous per se, it's just shameful.

It's just proof that Allura will never be a real leader and that she has failed every step of the way. It's not something that could destroy her, it's just something she's ashamed about.

"You're welcome." Hunk looks sincere now, while he smiles at her. She smiles as well, unable to resist.

It feels dishonest.

"We should move," Shiro calls them, while he pets Plachulatt. Keith is there with him, looking at her. It feels like he's been staying away from her since she has revealed her true nature and she appreciates that.

It would feel strange to talk with Keith like nothing was wrong, even if their longest interactions up to date consist solely of screaming at each other.

Coran is looking at her, too, and there is something kind in his eyes. It's a comforting expression and she smiles back to him immediately, a little more at ease.

"Well, after you, Princess," Lance tells her, with a little bow, and Allura looks at him, surprised.

"Coran calls you that," the waterbender explains, catching her surprise. "I thought it was like an endearment. I can stop if you don't like it, but I have to tell you, you're the princess of my heart."

She doesn't say anything for a second, too surprised for words, before laughing. She can't stop and it feels a little bit like a part of her that had been asleep all this time is waking up.

"You're fine, Lance," she tells him, moving towards Plachulatt. "It's all right "

It isn't, but it is at the same time. It's a difficult concept to express.

She hesitates a second before twirling on herself and letting the wind free. She floats into the air and lands perfectly on Plachulatt's neck, where she usually sits.

It's nerve-wracking using her Bending in front of other people, in front of a _firebender_ , but it's exhilarating at the same time. Nothing can stop her now.

No one comments on her ability; they don't even react in any way and she feels a little happy.

They depart soon and everyone keeps looking at the quintessence with dread. "If Mousey gets confused by the noise this time, we're screwed," Lance says looking back at the stone. "Does anyone have any ideas?”

“We could make him some kind of earplugs," Hunk proposes, "maybe out of rocks?"

Pidge raises an eyebrow and just gestures to what they have around them. "There are no rocks here, Hunk, we’re flying."

"We could land for a second and make them," Hunk protests, pointing to one of the big mountains they are currently flying over.

"I don't think they would stay put," Keith stops them with a huff. "And rock earplugs sound uncomfortable."

"Yeah well, I haven't heard you super plan yet!" Lance antagonizes him, with a little petulance in his voice.

Keith gets ready to reply, but Allura has already lost her patience. "I can do it. I'll create a little bubble over Plachulatt’s head. I'll let the air in but not the noises."

"You can do that?" Pidge asks, surprised and fascinated, and Allura looks back with a smile. She has missed the feeling of Bending without looking around worriedly. They are in the sky and no one can ever catch them here. She can do whatever she wants.

"Of course she can," Coran replies with pride. "She is a skilled Air Nomad, almost a master!"

"She doesn't have the tattoos. Aren't Air Nomads supposed to have tattoos?" Hunk asks, curious, and Allura blushes a little.

"Not every Air Nomad, only the ones that pass every step of the training," she explains, and she tries not to show how much that bothers her, that there is something that she has never been able to obtain.

"There are so many things we don't know." Shiro looks relaxed now and she can't help but think about his hand, warm and comforting, intertwined with hers the night before.

"You can learn," she replies, because if they manage to defeat Zarkon she wants to try and find any airbender who's in hiding and repopulate the temples. Her dream is to see her people again, free to roam the winds.

A roar echoes from Hunk’s hands and Allura grimaces, moving to create a little bubble around Plachulatt's head. The bison doesn't like it very much, but she pets him, tries to make him stay calm, and he does as he's told after a little while.

The roar grows louder, signaling that they are arriving at their destination.

She looks around and there is nothing for miles and miles. They are above most of the mountains and from what they can see it’s only rocks and nothing else. The roar gets stronger and stronger and she hopes her protection works because the noise is worse than ever before.

Allura almost collapses on Plachulatt's head and she sees the others physically shaken and in pain. She can only hope this Lionturtle will appear quickly.

"Where do I go?" she tries to scream, but she’s not sure if anyone is able to hear her over the quintessence.

"I don't know," Pidge screams back, her voice hoarse. Allura looks around again, but there is nothing to be seen in her line of sight. It makes no sense; they can’t be that far if the noise is already this bad, and yet there is no other explanation. And then she realizes what they are missing.

How is it possible that a spirit has existed here without ever being spotted? That’s the question they should have asked themselves and she just orders Plachulatt to go up. "Strap yourselves in," she tells the others but she can’t take time to make sure they have heard her. She takes some of Plachulatt’s fur and she signals him to go _up_. The sound gets worse for a second before it stops completely.

They look around, surprised for a second, before they see it.

This Lionturtle is green, with a little city on its back. Its shell looks like a shield, but Allura gets the impression that this spirit isn't docile. He's also smaller than the yellow Lionturtle, like it would be more agile, even in its giant form, as a true airbender should be.

"We've come here to receive the blessing," Allura calls to it. "I am an airbender, the last of my kind. Zarkon cannot be allowed to continue. Give me what I need to defeat him."

The Lions looks at her briefly, almost as if it’s judging her, deciding if she's worth it, and then it extends a clawed finger. "I grant thee the blessing." With her it's over just as fast as the others. She smiles, a little happy to see that there are no more complications. She can see Coran, smiling proudly at her.

“I have given you the blessing, young one,” the beast says, but its voice has a strange intonation. “But it will be useless If you don’t learn to open yourself up. Commune with the spirits, learn the ways of you people.”

Allura stops and looks at the beast with dread. She thinks about the tattoos that she could never receive, of the countless hours spent with her father, trying to reach a spiritual connection that was never there. “I can’t…” she starts, but the beast stops her immediately.

“You can, you just haven’t let yourself ever be fragile. You need to let go of everything that makes you… you.” Allura shakes her head, tries to make the beast stop talking. It doesn’t know what It’s saying, doesn’t know what it’s asking her to do.

“No! I have!” She’s frantic now, because she knows this goes way beyond her powers. She can fight, she can be ruthless. Why does this matter?

“Is it really me you’re trying to convince?” the beast asks before it starts moving. It has come, shaken her entire world, and now it’s leaving without even answering her. “You have the blessing. Now go forth, more trials await you.” She wants to stop it, but it’s fast and it flies away, into the clouds and over, where they can’t reach.

Allura is shaking, she knows, but there’s nothing she can do about it. Coran tries to touch her but she flinches.

“Princess…” he mutters, sad, but she can’t talk to him, not yet. She had tried. R _eally_ she had, so much. Had the beast implied that she hadn’t tried enough? In her years of training she had seen how much her failure to reach a deep spiritual connection had burdened her father. And now she discovers that maybe it could have been a heartbreak she could have spared him…

Had she ever made him proud when he was alive?

“I did everything I could,” she whispers and she’s not talking to anyone, not really, but she’s acutely aware they are here, listening to her every word. “I… did everything…”

She feels someone’s hand on her shoulders, pushing her towards Plachulatt’s back and she thinks about resisting, about standing her ground but she’s so tired. She doesn’t want to resist, she doesn’t want to fight anymore.

Allura lets them guide her, and she sees that it’s Lance that has his hand on her shoulder. He’s pushing her gently, his face a mix of worry and kindness. Pidge looks uncomfortable, but she’s still here, beside her. Hunk takes her from Lance’s hand and makes her sit beside him. Lance immediately sits on her other side.

“I’m stronger than this.” She knows she is, she has been strong her entire life. This is a moment of weakness she shouldn’t be allowing herself, and yet she doesn’t know how to stop.

“Crying doesn’t make you weak.” Keith’s voice comes from beside her and she strains her neck to look at him. He has his arms crossed in front of him, his entire posture is closed off, but he’s looking straight at her like he can read her “don’t say that”.

She still doesn’t like him, she still doesn’t trust him. But in this moment, in this exact second, she’s glad he’s here.

 

 

 

They go back to the Eastern Temple and they don't say anything the entire journey. Even Mousey doesn't even squeak. They spend their time looking at Allura, who in turn looks at her own hands like she's not sure what she's supposed to do.

Pidge hasn't understood everything about her talk with the Lionturtle and she thinks that, maybe, there are other secrets Allura hasn't told them, but it doesn't really matter right now.

When they reach the Eastern Temple Allura immediately pushes them away. "I need to be... alone for a while."

It doesn't seem to be the best idea and she wants to say that, but Coran stops her. They watch Allura enter the temple with a defeated aura around her and it's such a jarring comparison to how she has always acted.

Pidge doesn't know how to feel about any of this. "This journey seems to be more focused on self-discovery than trying to save the world," she says, and she sees Lance nod briefly.

"A true quest always reveals the true heart of those who undertake it," Coran recites, looking serious for a second before smiling. "It's a very good quote from a book I've read. I should lend it to you, it's about the teachings of a very sage airbending master."

"Aren't you worried about her?" Keith interrupts him, brusque as ever, and Coran seems confused by the question before his eyes turn sad.

"She's strong, even more than what you think," his reply comes immediately. "I might not enjoy seeing her suffer, but I believe this will only help her in her journey."

"You know you're the most mysterious one here," Lance says in the end, advancing towards Coran. "You're always so zen about everything. It's strange. Suspicious."

"Oh, my dear waterbender, it's because I've mastered the teachings of my idols. I can lend you one of my hundreds of books on the matter. They are quite interesting," Coran starts, but Pidge decides she doesn't want to be included in what looks to be a terribly boring discussion.

She looks at her own hands and tries to understand what the blessing has done to her. Hunk has now the ability to lavabend and it feels unfair that she hasn't gained anything by her _forehead touch_.

Nothing seems different. She still Bends in the same way, feels the earth in the same way, moves and breathes in the same way.

This feels like a scam.

"Still training?" someone asks from behind her and when she looks back she can see Shiro with Keith following close (as always). She doesn't really want to talk with Keith, their interactions still awkward, but there is no way to just make him go away now, is there? She needs him to save his brother and she can't allow herself the luxury of forgetting that.

"I just want to know what the blessing has done for me," she explains in the end, looking back at Shiro. "Don’t you?"

The other looks surprised by the question before he shrugs. "I've been thinking about other things, I guess." It's a short reply and she feels like an asshole. Here she is, whining because the ancient spirit hasn't given her any cool power, when Shiro had lost his.

"I'm..." she tries, but Shiro waves away her apology immediately.

"I was just thinking we could spend some time together, all the team, maybe talk a little. We've been traveling non-stop until now and we're in a safe place here." Shiro seems completely honest when he talks, and even Keith standing at his back isn't enough to make his offer less appealing.

Taking a break seems like a dream too good to be true right now, after nights of travel and poor rest.

Still, she might have no problems sharing her life story with Lance, Hunk _or_ Shiro, but at the same time she's not sure she can be as open knowing a firebender is listening.

The truth is she doesn't enjoy being so angry. She would like to forget about any of this and return to her machines, to her prototypes. And yet she looks at Keith and there is nothing that can abate her anger, her sorrow.

"It's alright if you don't want to," Shiro reassures her after a while and she almost lets out a sigh of relief.

"I just don't really want to talk, I guess." It's the truth after all. She doesn't want to talk to anyone. Or just to Keith.

He reacts before Shiro, nodding in her direction in a silent understanding. Keith seems to be used to people hating him for what he is, and she can only be grateful that he gets why she can't just be calm around him.

"If you want to talk later, we're just sitting there," Shiro tells her and Pidge nods, but watches them go without saying anything.

She trains for another hour and she can hear in the distance the angry shouts of Lance and Keith, who are probably just disagreeing yet again. If she had chosen to sit with them, she could have helped Lance, she thinks, just to be a little petty to Keith. It makes it a little harder to stay away, but she still does.

Allura takes another hour to emerge and at this point the sky is starting to get darker and darker as they approach nighttime. She stops at the top of the stairs that lead to the temple and she calls them all towards her.

Allura looks so much better now compared to this morning, and there is a determined gleam in her eyes. Pidge admires her, admires her straight-forwardness, and she has been trying to figure out what could have made her lose control so suddenly and totally. Nothing really came to mind

So she’s ready to listen, ready to understand. They all have personal stories, personal little tragedies. In a way it might be the only thing to connect them all. Such a strange and sad fate.

 

 

 

When Allura realizes they've just touched down at the temple she's still shaking, a tremor between her shoulder blades she just can't seem to stop. It's too much, everything is too much, but she doesn't have the luxury to just stop, she doesn't have the time.

"Are you..." Hunk starts but she shakes her head.

She thinks about what the Lion told her, she thinks about everything that her father had ever told her and she just pushes forward.

"I need to go meditate." She hopes they understand that it's something she needs to do alone and, maybe in this place so dear to her and her people, she can finally find some kind of peace. Meditation has been difficult for her lately, ever since... all of this.

Even in her youth it had never been something she had excelled at, but now she feels she’s even more useless than a child that has just discovered its powers.

They let her go, thankfully, and maybe Coran is stopping them, maybe they've understood. It doesn't matter.

She had never been in the East Temple but it feels familiar anyway. It might the air that smells similar to the one in the North, maybe because of the spiritual significance that all the temples share. It feels like home.

She ventures ahead, passing the big halls and reaching what should have been, once, the meditation room. There is an altar, in ruin after years and years of neglect. Someone more adept to this spiritual stuff than her should purify it, but all she can do is hope the energy isn't too corrupted.

[She kneels in front of it](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002987305/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith), puts her hands in front of her face and focuses. She tries to remember everything her father had taught her, how to even her breaths, how to count the passage of time with clear precision.

They would spend entire evenings like this, trying to achieve a deeper understanding of the world. That was how her father had always described it, a deeper understanding of the universe and of oneself. She had never been able to fully comprehend it, and even now she feels like she's only skimming the surface of it.

She knows she's not focusing enough. Her thoughts are errant butterflies in her mind, going from one place to another in a flurry of movement. She needs to still them, control them, bring them where she needs to.

She fails.

It isn't an unexpected result, even if it is disappointing.

Allura has the blessing now, and even if the Lionturtle of Earth told her that she wasn't Avatar material, the Lionturtle of Air granted her the gift. She needs to understand how to use it.

The Beast had told her that the root of her difficulties lies in the fact that she’s closed off, to the world and to others. She understands how this might be true now, where her everyday routine consists of building up walls and telling lies and hiding secrets. But before? She doesn't think she ever kept anything from her father, had tried to be as open as possible. Had she been lying to herself this whole time? Harboring resentment inside her and letting it fester?

Did the beast understand her better than she had ever understood herself? .

It stings, having someone dig deep into her deepest fears, deepest secrets, and find her wanting.

_I tried_ , she wants to scream to whoever might be listening. _I'm still trying now, why isn't that enough?_

Her father had never judged her for her inability to reach a deeper meditation state, but at the same time it had grated on their relationship, this invisible wall they couldn't cross.

She lowers her hands and realizes that it's useless, she can't do anything right. Even this whole adventure is a total farce. The first mission she has tried to put together and she let a firebender use her for his needs.

"I'm sorry," she says, out loud. Her father can't really hear her, she knows that, but what else does she have to lose? She already has nothing else.

"I know I wasn't always the daughter you wanted. Or maybe I wasn't the daughter I wanted to be." She looks at her hands and creates a gust of wind, lets it spin in her hand. "I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be you. But I couldn't and it made me so angry."

No one says anything, of course. She's alone, but there is something in the air that strangely tells her to continue, to just keep going.

So she does.

"I never understood that you weren't perfect either, I just wanted to be... more." She's almost crying, and she doesn't care. "You told me I was fine the way I was, but I never believed you.”

Allura looks around at the ruin that surrounds her, at everything she might never have back. “Could I have saved this,” she wonders, out loud, “if I had been better? If I had been braver? You didn’t think so.”

It’s heavy, the guilt she’s putting on his shoulder, but he’s dead. He can take it.

“I would like to ask you why you did it. Did you think I couldn’t fight? I couldn’t have helped?” She’s panting now, emotions raw in her throat. All the things she didn’t let herself think, all the truth she didn’t let herself admit.

And in the end, she’s hollow.

“I know you loved me. You only wanted to protect me, I know that. But I just wanted to help,” she admits, out loud. “I’m not like you, but that’s okay.”

Something stirs within her and she looks around, startled by it. There’s nothing there, but she still feels it. She resumes her meditation position, closes her eyes and focuses on her heartbeat, on the sound of the wind. She meditates.

It’s the first time she has actually managed to enter such a deep state, and it’s like her body is light, weightless. She’s still here, but not. Her feelings are too much, but are also outside of her.

_Oh_ , she thinks _, I understand._

When she opens her eyes again, time has passed; she knows that, but she’s not sure how much. They had left in the morning and, judging by the sun, it should be almost late afternoon. She has been meditating for hours.

It doesn’t feel like enough. There has to be something more to it, something that will grant her the ability she needs to form Voltron. This is progress, but not everything she needs.

Allura stands up, lets her muscles relax, shift, and realign. There is something else she has to do, another wall she has to destroy with ruthless tenacity.

She goes outside. She finds Coran, Lance, Hunk, Keith, and Shiro on one side, talking and laughing, and on the other side Pidge, alone.

She calls them all to her, while she stands at the top of the stairs that lead to the center hall. Coran tries to reach her to ask her how she’s feeling and she stops him. The conversation she needs to have, the admission she’s going to give, isn’t going to be easy. And she needs all the strength she can get.

“I’m better now. And I owe you all an explanation,” she starts, because it’s what makes sense. It’s the truth.

“You don’t owe us anything,” Shiro says immediately, backed up by Lance and Hunk, who nod as if their lives depended on it. She wants to smile.

In the end she doesn’t think this team is bad, with the limited resources she had. The team she has assembled far surpassed her expectations. Even Keith, in the end, almost doesn’t feel like the enemy anymore.

“I do, but I only ask that you listen to me,” she objects and just raises a hand to stop them all for saying anything. “Please. It’s something I need to do.”

No one else moves. They’re almost too still, as if they weren’t even breathing. So Allura starts, and tries to pretend that her hands aren’t shaking again.

“I’m an airbender, you know that,” and they just nod, letting her figure out the best way to start, but she wonders if there is any way to explain it without sounding crazy. So she just starts talking. “I’m Avatar Alfor’s daughter. I trained under him for years, but I was never on his level on the spiritual side of airbending. When Zarkon attacked, I wanted to contact the other nations, fight together, but my father said that we didn’t have the time, we had already lost and he…”

She stops, but she can’t look into their eyes, doesn’t want to see what they think of her, of this information. Her breath feels heavy, like there’s something keeping the air inside of her.

Allura doesn’t want to close herself off anymore, she wants to fight, she wants to win. One day, maybe, her father would have forgiven her, she thinks, in the long run, for being who she was. But today is the day she forgives herself.

“I don’t know what he did,” she continues, honestly. “I just know that one moment I was talking and the next I woke up and Coran was telling me that a hundred years have passed. My father, the Avatar, is dead. The world is in shambles. And I’m the last airbender.”

She looks up, finally, looks into each of their eyes, and she can see that they are shocked, that they aren’t sure how to believe her, but she also sees that they want to. It’s enough.

“My family,” Coran starts, “has been looking after her for three generations. She was encased in an ice that never melted. Asleep.” He looks at her with a fond smile. “When she woke up I couldn’t believe it, I was half-convinced that Avatar Alfor had just done something wrong. Maybe it just needed to be the right time.”

Allura smiles as well, because in the end she owes her life to Coran and his family and because she’s starting to believe it, too. That maybe she’s here for a reason, maybe she can really restore balance to this world.

She looks at Keith and wonders if maybe she was only waiting for a firebender that could do the right thing, regardless of motive. Keith catches her eyes and she sees the struggle the firebender is going though, sees the inner turmoil he tries to keep hidden. Could she help him? Could she in some way free him from that guilt?

She knows the answer is no. He has to do it on his own, the same way she has. He needs a little push, that’s true, but she doesn’t think she’s the one that can do the pushing.

“We’re honored you’re trusting this with us,” Shiro says, and she zeroes on him immediately. The first to actually react to her confession, and he looks confident. Strong.

“I mean, it’s an awesome story. And you need to explain to me how all that crystallization works because it could be...” Pidge begins mumbling before Lance shoves her to the side.

“I don’t care! You knew Avatar Alfor, he was awesome!” The waterbender almost screams in his excitement. And she smiles, feeling lighter than she has ever felt in her life.

“I’m sorry,” Keith says, from behind, and it brings the conversation to a halt. Everyone is almost too rigid to actually say anything. She can take the apology in many ways, maybe he’s saying sorry for what his people have done to her, maybe for the fate of her father, maybe for deceiving her in the beginning.

Wondering it’s useless. It doesn’t change her answer.

“Apologize by helping me put a stop to this.” Her voice is firm, commanding, and she sees Keith respond to her. His entire body attunes to her order. She is trained to be a leader, to lead and be followed, and even if Shiro is good, even if he’s a hero, she’s the one that formed this team. She’s the one that had the plan.

She is the one who will defeat Zarkon and avenge her father.

“Not going to lie,” Allura hears Lance whisper. “That was a little hot.”

 

 

 

They stay together that night. It's like something has changed suddenly in their relationship and Lance can't even say what it is. He just feels it in the air around them, in the way Allura smiles more, seems a little younger, a little lighter.

He doesn't know exactly what revelation she has found, meditating in the temple, but he guesses he can understand why finally revealing her secret, opening up to them, made her feel better, closer to everyone.

He wonders if it would work for him, too.

His secret isn't as big or as dangerous as Allura's. He's not the long-lost son of anyone, and he hasn't slept in a crystal for a century, but it's still there, under his skin. He knows that it influences his every move, makes him wilder. It's the entire reason he has joined this stupid mission, or at least it was in the beginning. He knows himself enough to realize that. He can admit to it freely, but he's not proud.

He watches as Pidge puts a million question to Coran, looks as Shiro and Allura talk, like people who understand suffering. If he told them his secret, what would he get?

Hunk is beside him and he must notice that Lance isn't talking as much as he usually would. He looks at him, worry furrowing his brow. "Are you all right?"

Even Hulk has gained something from this trip and he's special now, like everyone else here. A lavabender, one of the least common secondary types of Bending around.

Lance is envious of him.

But at the same time he has unlocked this skill thanks to the blessing of the Lionturtle and Lance... he can hope. Maybe the moment the beasts touches his forehead, the moment the Lionturtle touches his soul, he will finally be free. He doesn't need to tell them anything, if he just... if they just get over there fast enough.

"I'm perfectly fine," he answers with a smile. Hunk doesn't seem convinced for a second, so Lance shoves him forward and steals a piece of his meat.

Hunk is too indignant to remember why he was mad.

The journey to the North Water Tribe is long, Lance knows it, but at the same time he can't help but think that everyone is making it a lot longer than it needs to be. They don't have to stop every two seconds for food or sleep, or just rest.

When Allura had been in charge, in the beginning, they had traveled at a much faster speed than this. Only because now she has everything she needs doesn't mean Lance is going to wait forever to have his blessing.

"As I've already said," Coran says, while he tries to build a tent with not stellar results, "we need to stop for a while because Mousey is slowing down considerably. We've pushed him too hard. A day without moving won't kill us."

"It could!" Lance replies immediately, gesticulating. "What do you know? Maybe there are firebenders around that tree right there!"

"They would be doing a poor job of apprehending us," Pidge murmurs from the side and Lance looks at her, annoyed.

"They're calling for reinforcements, obviously, have you ever read anything?" It's like they aren't even trying to understand him and it feels unfair. He has done his best to help everyone else during their journey to self-discovery. Can't they do the same for him?

"I'm just saying we're losing precious time," he tries again, but he knows it's useless. He can feel Hunk's gaze on his shoulders, with judgment too strong to bear.

He hasn't talked much to Hunk since they left the Eastern Temple. He likes to pretend it's because they have had many more team meetings and there just wasn’t the need to have a one-on-one talk, but he knows it's not like that.

"Lance," Shiro steps in, and he is using his serious voice. He even sounds a little bit annoyed. "We're doing the best we can. But we need to stop now, okay? The Lionturtle will wait a day."

He wants to scream, wants to tell him he has waited his whole life and he just doesn't want to feel like this any longer. Shiro wouldn’t get it, however; he's an incredible earthbender, even without his arm, even without his metalbending.

Lance has seen him fight and he is strong. He attacked without hesitating at the village, without a doubt he was enough to take them on. Lance doesn't have that; he had thought for a time that he would never have it.

Now he has a chance and he just... he wants it now.

"Fine!" he says in the end, trying not to blow up at the wrong people. He's annoyed but it's not Shiro's fault, it's not even Coran's. "I'm just going to... search... for stuff."

It's not his best lie, but when he walks away no one stops him, and it's enough. Not even Hunk seems to be following him and it's a blessing. Lance doesn't want to yell at him. Hurting Hunk doesn't make him feel better, ever.

He's moping, sitting on a root—and yes, he can admit he's moping—when he discovers someone has followed him and when he looks up, he sees who it is. It's almost a blessing, really, because Lance feels vicious and Keith is the only person of the group who deserves it.

"What are you doing here?" His voice is venomous, angry, and full of anticipation.

Keith doesn't even give him the satisfaction of appearing annoyed. He looks neutral, almost bored, like he doesn't believe he has to do this. Lance wants to hurt him.

"You're acting like a five-year-old," Keith informs him, "even more than usual."

"Oh, here it comes, high and mighty from your high horse. _Traitor,_ " he responds immediately, but Keith doesn't get angry.

"That got old pretty fast, I'm sorry," he informs him, almost bored. "And everyone wanted to come and talk to you, but they don't have to. You need to sort whatever it is that's making you act like this and get over it."

"That's your brilliant plan? _Get over it_?" He doesn't believe what he's hearing. What does Keith know about him? How can he say this without even knowing what he's going through? _Sanctimonious prick_.

Keith raises an eyebrow, almost daring him to say anything else. Lance couldn't be stopped even if someone was actually trying.

"You don't know anything about me," he snarls, moving forward. "You think you do, you think you can be part of this team, but no one likes you. Probably Shiro feels sorry for you, who knows? You're the reason our families are _dead._ "

It's a terrible thing to say, he knows that, but it feels good to actually see, for a second, how Keith staggers at that. He feels powerful; he feels like he can do anything.

And in that moment, Lance stops. He has never wanted this, even with Keith... it's not him. Never him. Even Keith doesn't deserve this and, most importantly, this won't make him feel better, only a lot worse about what he's doing. He already knows he's wrong. He shouldn't be treating anyone like he is, because they are doing the best they can. Even Mousey has been pushing it. He gets it.

He's frustrated and angry and he just wanted to feel better for a moment. It's a pity that Lance has never been one to be satisfied and happy when hurting anyone else. Even if that person is firebender scum.

"Are you done?" Keith asks, and his tone is curt, clipped. Lance won't even say anything if Keith decides to retaliate. He would deserve it after all, he knows that.

He nods anyway, giving Keith the signal to start but the other only nods and sits down beside him.

"What's wrong?" Keith asks, and his voice is gentler than before, a little bit kinder. Lance doesn't deserve that—he had been terrible to him.

"Why do you care?" he asks instead of telling him that, instead of apologizing.

"Because you're a pain in the ass and you're annoying," Keith starts immediately, almost too happy to be able to insult him, "but you've never been cruel." Lance looks at the other, surprised, and Keith just scoffs, almost as if he's embarrassed. "You helped Shiro. You didn't have to... but you did."

Lance is surprised for a second before shaking his head. "Shiro didn't do anything to me, of course I had to."

"No. You only knew him by fame and by the fact that a firebender wanted to free him," he says, looking down. "A lot of other people would have just left him. You cured him. I noticed."

It's a little surprising, to say the least, because as much as he doesn't like Keith, he had always believed Keith hated him, too.

Discovering he was wrong, that the other had noticed and gave his action that much importance... it's strange. He's not sure how he should feel.

"He tried to help my village," he says, and he hasn't even said it to Hunk. He thinks his best friend knows it, but at the same time... it's strange saying it out loud. "He didn't succeed, but no one else even tried. The Southern Tribe was less important than the Northern." He knows he sounds bitter, but he is, he can admit that.

"He tried to save me," Keith says, and it sounds surprisingly honest from the other's mouth.

"That must have been a lot of work," Lance says, trying to go for funny, a little bit friendly, some banter. He's not sure if Keith even knows what friendly banter looks like. "You're a piece of work."

Keith smiles briefly and just shrugs. "No one else tried. It was..." he stops, but Lance knows anyway what the other wants to say.

He doesn't know what it is about this moment they are having and he would have chosen literally anyone else for this conversation, but heck, he can't really stop now.

"I'm a terrible waterbender," he says, and it's a confession that takes all of his strength to make. It's a curse he has lived with his entire life, the knowledge that his Bending has always been subpar.

A lot of people live without a problem with that, but he lives in times of war and he can't protect anyone with his defective Bending.

Keith is looking at him strangely, evidently unsure about what to say. It must be surprising, a revelation like this from someone that has done nothing but ridicule him for days.

"I can't control large amounts of water, and even if I do, I lose control easily." It has been like this since he was little. He remembers his sisters laughing at him, making fun of him.

Right now he would gladly go back to that time if only it meant...

"My family thinks I'm a hindrance. They sent me away when they discovered the Fire Empire was attacking. They didn't tell me anything, just... sent me away." It hurts, remembering it now, knowing how little his family had valued him when they had needed help the most. "They sent me to Ba Sing Se. I was little. Ten years old. It feels like longer."

Keith still isn't talking and Lance appreciates it. He knows it would be difficult to keep talking if the other stopped him even for a second. It feels like the words are flowing now, naturally and with a force he's not used to. It's a hurricane of feelings, emotions, words, and he can't stop them, isn't sure he would want to.

"I could have fought if only I was as strong as them. If only I had some control over my bending,” he explains, hopes Keith doesn't say anything to that either. "And yet they decided to send me away in a city where I didn’t know anyone."

He had been lucky that Hunk had been one of the first people he had run into. If it had been anyone else, someone less pure, someone less kind... he doesn't want to think about what it could have happened to him.

"And now... I mean Hunk received lavabending from the Lionturtle, Allura received this strange spiritual shit. I just want something for me. Is it that much to ask?" He wonders what Keith thinks now about him, about these terrible thoughts that swim in his head. It's good that it's only Keith, someone whose opinion Lance doesn't really care about.

They stay in silence for a while and then Keith speaks, his voice measured, his tone light.

"I've seen you fight," he tries, and it's obvious he's trying very hard not to offend. It's strange, but comfortable. "You can't put force into your attacks, but they are precise. You might not be a very strong attacker, but in life not everything is about brute force. Strategy is a big part of it. My Bending is strong, but I don't have that kind of control."

Lance looks at Keith, surprised, a little taken aback. He had never thought about it like that, always more focused on all the things he couldn’t do and never on the things he could.

“You just have to find your own style for fighting," Keith tells him, confides like he wasn't just rocking Lance’s whole word. "And you don’t have to do it on your own. I mean there’s Hunk, he’s your best friend, right? Shiro doesn’t know how to let things go so he’ll probably help you even if you don’t want him to help… you have people to go to"

Lance looks at Keith, then at his own feet, and marvels at this. At this conversation he's having with Keith without fighting, screaming... and it's working.

It's... it's actually helping him.

“Who are you?” he asks, because this has to be a prank. Or maybe it’s a mythical creature that has Keith’s face and none of his terrible, _terrible_ attitude.

“Only one person can throw a tantrum at the same time,” this strange Keith look-alike says. “You’re currently taking the spot.”

“You joke, too?” There are entirely too many things happening right now and he doesn’t think he can take them. Keith being helpful is one thing, but actually being funny? There are things he’s not ready to face.

Silence falls in front of them and Lance looks at his feet, wonders if they have ever spent such a long amount of time without fighting. He can’t recall, but the answer is probably no.

“I am precise,” he starts, slowly, a little tentative. It’s still strange to think that Keith had noticed that when he thinks not even Hunk did. “In my village… I could hit the target from very far away. It was one of the games we played the most. There… there wasn’t much to do when we couldn’t go out.”

The other doesn’t say anything, just nods to make him understand he’s listening. He hasn’t thought about his family without bitterness in so long. He loves them and misses them every day. Not knowing if they are alive or dead destroys him, but at the same time his own insecurities have been such a tall wall to overcome.

“And I’m very good at changing water into ice. I could make good projectiles.” He hadn’t thought about that before, but it’s a good idea. Such a good idea he almost thinks of uncapping his flask and trying right there.

Keith isn’t even looking at him, just glancing forward, but Lance doesn’t really care, too focused on this. He hasn’t felt so free in a long time.

“You can do what you want,” is what the firebender says, with a shrug. “Find your own thing and don’t compare yourself to others. It isn’t worth it.”

It’s not bad advice and it looks like Keith is just a fountain of wisdom today. He’s grateful, he is, but he doesn’t know how to say thank you, doesn’t think he could. His and Keith’s relationship isn’t made of this and it won’t be, but maybe they can find a compromise.

So instead of saying thank you he tries to help Keith back, at least a little.

“You know… you’re not as bad as some people say you are,” he starts and Keith looks taken aback for a second before he opens his mouth. Lance beats him to the punch. “Yes, I know, _some people_ were mostly me, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make.”

“You don’t need to thank me...” Keith interrupts him and Lance shakes his head.

“No, I’m not… as if I would ever thank you! Who do you think you are, Fire Mullet? No! I’m trying…” Well this isn’t going well, and he’s losing control of the situation fast. Screw this. “You and Shiro should just sort yourself out! I mean, it’s obvious the dude is in love with you!”

It’s worth it to see the way Keith’s almost chokes on nothing. It’s a topic he’s sure no one has even tried to approach with him. It feels like a minefield, metaphorically and literally (since Keith seems ready to burn him to a crisp) but whatever.

“You don’t know what…” Keith tries, but Lance waves his pitiful attempt at derailing the conversation easily.

“Everyone can tell. I think even Mousey can tell! Shiro is like bigger than Hunk and he pines after you like he’s twelve! And you just… stand menacingly. But never more than three feet from him. It’s adorable, even if a little creepy.” He wants to continue, if only to see if Keith can get redder than this. It feels like it would be a challenge, but he’s ready to try.

The other, however, doesn’t seem to share his desire to try and stands up fast.

“Stay out of things you don’t understand,” Keith mutters, walking away and Lance just follows him.

“But you want to do some sweet, sweet loving with him, I can tell,” he sing-songs, a little giddy. He knows resolving years and years of insecurity issues isn’t this easy, but this feels like he has just taken a step in the right direction after a life of standing still, waiting

“Shut up, Lance,” Keith almost screams and Lance stops, a little surprised. He didn’t expect the venom in Keith’s voice, the blind rage and hurt.

“Dude, calm down, I wasn’t…” he starts, but Keith looks back at him and he stops. He doesn’t think he can really talk when confronted with Keith’s expression. He looks lost, he looks destroyed.

“Do you even understand?” Keith says, advancing back towards Lance. “You call me Fire Empire scum and you’re right. If I hadn’t met Shiro, I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t even care about any of you.”

“Hey, come on, I don’t think that, I…” he tries, but Keith is relentless in his rage.

“Yes you do. And you should,” he says, and his hands light up, some flames flying out of Keith’s control. Like his anger and his hurt need a release before something explodes. It might be too late. “Do you understand what has happened to Shiro? What they did to him? What _I_ did to him?”

Lance wants to speak, wants to tell him it’s not his fault, but he doesn’t know. Their past isn’t something they have ever talked about, all that he knows is that Shiro doesn’t consider Keith responsible, had spoken in Keith’s defense from the minute he woke up. It feels like enough, but what does he know?

“Shiro is stupid and too good and he…” Keith stops, looks back. “He’s trying to keep it together, but he’s not fine. I can tell. So don’t talk about things you don’t understand. Just stay the fuck away”.

Keith leaves, marching away as fast as he can, and Lance doesn’t stop him. Wouldn’t even know what to tell him. He doesn’t know what he would feel in Keith’s place. He likes to think he would have made different decisions that Keith’s, maybe stood up before, but at the same time he can’t even fathom what the other is going though.

He returns to camp and he sees Hunk waiting patiently for him. He looks a bit worried and Lance looks around a little before going to him. Keith is nowhere in sight, but neither is Shiro—he doesn’t know if that’s a good sign or not. Allura, Coran and Pidge are talking on one side.

He joins Hunk.

“Keith came back upset. Shiro is seeing if he can do something about it,” the other tells him, looking at him with a little worried frown. “Did you fight? I mean…”

“I think we were actually getting along,” Lance replies, honestly, and he sees Hunk is as surprised as he was at the realization. “Then I… I think I made him mad by addressing the obvious sexual tension between him and Shiro.”

Hunk groans and shakes his head. “You had to go there?”

“I just thought they were being stupid! I didn’t expect…” he stops then, because he’s not sure how to make light of what he had found. There is hurt there he’s not sure how to soothe, and it’s not his place, he knows it isn’t, but as a Healer it makes him ache.

Hunk picks up on it and doesn’t ask anything more, just looks at him. “Do you feel better?”

Lance thinks about it, pokes at the still tender nerves of his mind, and the answers come with a little smile. “Yeah. I think I do.”

 

 

 

Hunk doesn't really know exactly what Lance and Keith had talked about, but the change in Lance was palpable. But so was the one in Keith.

Lance was more relaxed, less intent on making them go mad by trying to do the week-long journey in two days.

Keith however... he was insufferable. He was even more intent on sulking than before and he didn't even talk to Shiro. Before it had always felt like Keith had isolated himself to make them more comfortable, but Hunk has noticed that everyone had started mellowing out towards Keith. Now it was the firebender that looked at them from the sidelines and refused to join them.

Shiro had tried, he still tries, but it seems Keith shuts him out, too, which is such a strange occurrence that everyone takes notice.

"What did you even tell him?" Pidge asks, blowing on her soup while they watch Shiro try, and fail, to make Keith join them for dinner.

"You know it might not be my fault," Lance mumbles, but the way he hunches forward means he does feel guilty. "I thought we were making fun of each other."

In reality, Hunk doesn't think that Lance is in the wrong here. Whatever he might have said, and knowing his friend it might have been something stupid but not too hurtful, this reaction seems a bit blown out of proportion.

When Shiro returns, he's scowling, evidently angry and frustrated. He sits down beside them and takes a plate with a little too much force. It's strange seeing him this angry, really.

"Uhm, is he..." Hunk tries, but Shiro's look shuts him up quickly.

"These younglings just need a little bit of time. I do remember being young and in the throes of passion," Coran muses, but Shiro doesn't seem to be really in the mood and he just keeps eating.

Hunk looks at Lance and tries to convey that he really doesn't know what to do. Thankfully years of being someone's best friend makes them capable of some sort of telepathic connection. Lance looks back at him and just shrugs. They are both lost.

"You know, I am sorry." Lance makes an effort in the end, after a minute of awkward staring. "If I said something..."

"You don't have to take the blame for this." Shiro stops him quickly. He looks defeated and tired "I might have let the situation go too long. And he's an adult. He should be able to deal with his own emotions." It's obvious Shiro is trying to be angry, but it's also obvious that the situation weighs on him.

It's not the first time Hunk thinks that Keith probably doesn't even realize how much Shiro is seated firmly in his corner, ready to stare down anyone that tries to disagree. It's a pity, really, because Shiro's devotion is a sight to behold.

"You just have to be patient..." Allura's voice is trying to be reassuring, but Shiro response is a smile that doesn't really reach his eyes.

This is the last stop before they reach Northern Tribe waters, and they will have a long day of searching and flying. The air is a little chilly and they are huddling along the fire.

Everyone beside the firebender, obviously.

"What do you think my Lionturtle will be like?" Lance asks with a smile and soon the conversation gets derailed towards lighter tones. If sometimes Shiro looks back with a sad expression, everyone tries to ignore it.

 

They know the procedure well enough, after two times, that this time they are keeping the stone very far away from their ears. The first Lionturtle’s directions had been vague and the water surrounding the Northern Tribe is vast, but most of all it's dangerous and cold.

Unlike the desert and the temple, there is a possibility that someone is watching them from the city, and the North had been conquered long ago.

"Mousey will fly close to the surface of the water," Allura tells them as they reach the borders. "Let's hope we don't have to fly around too much."

Lance smiles, a confident expression that doesn't looks as forced as it would have even two days before. "If something happens, leave it to me. The water doesn't have secrets from me."

Keith very pointedly _doesn't_ look at him. He's trying to make it so obvious that he's _not looking at them_ , that Hunk feels his glance even more. Shiro is seated beside him, Mousey too small to leave Keith to his sulking, but they are also _obviously not talking_.

It would be funny if only it didn’t make the whole situation so awkward. Hunk feel like they’ve gone back to the early days of their journey, when mistrust guided every interaction.

He tries to think about what he can do about it, but his mind comes out empty. Both Shiro and Lance had tried to talk with Keith, to no avail, and his interference couldn’t bring anything new or good.

It’s almost a relief when the damn quintessence starts reacting, because they can finally focus on something else.

“Ohhh! Where is it? Where is it?” Lance asks, looking down at the sea. It is a bit of a surprise when the water starts to ripple, but soon the Lionturtle emerges. Like the others, it seems to be connected to its element by coloring, and it has a little island on his shell.

The beast rises above the water and floats in front of them, just as massive as the others.

“You’ve come here for the blessing?” it asks, and Lance nods, raising his hand.

“Yes, hello. That’s me. I’m here for the blessing.” He’s excited, it’s plain to see, and even when the beast doesn’t really react, it doesn’t seem to dampen his enthusiasm.

The beast regards them for a second, just as solemn as the others, but it seems kinder than the others.

“You’ve come a long way, but there is still a long way to go,” it says, raising one of its claws.

“What do you mean?” Pidge wonders, curious. “We only need to find another one of you!”

“That might be, but you won’t be able to complete your journey as you are now.” There is a tone of finality in its voice that shakes Hunk to the core. He had thought they were finally close, and yes, they might not have any actual idea of how to build Voltron, but it had felt so close… “Come now, Child of the Water.”

“No!” everyone looks back, surprised to see Keith stand up. “I’m sick of this cryptic bullshit. Answer the question!”

“Keith…” Shiro tries to calm him down, even almost reaches towards the other, but Keith backs away from him almost as if burned (or, Hunk thinks, as if he’s afraid of burning Shiro).

“It’s time someone actually answers one of our questions,” he presses, standing tall.

The blue spirit seems to be contemplating him, and Hunk remembers how unsettled he had been when the Earth Lionturtle had done the same to him.

“I can’t give you the answers you seek,” the Lionturtle says in the end. “I can just tell you that your soul isn’t ready, Child of Fire. The blessing, as you are now, cannot be given to you.” And before anyone else can say anything, the beast extends one claw towards Lance.

It’s over, as always, incredibly fast, so fast that Hunk still wonders if this really serves any purpose. Maybe it’s some kind of _the treasure is the memories you made on the way_ kind of deal. It’s not like they have gained anything they couldn’t have gained on their own. Even his capability of lavabending: it’s possible he could have had the spark since the beginning, he just had never tried.

When the spirit tries to retreat again, Keith follows him to the end of Mousey’s back. “What? No! Come back! What do you…” But the Lionturtle is retreating, without any care about what Keith is screaming.

Hunk notices what Keith wants to do a moment too late and he sees the firebender jump towards the water and the retreating monster, too shocked to move. He also sees the gust of wind that punches Keith in the stomach, pushing him back on the bison and pinning him to the animal’s back.

Allura looks defiant, standing up on Mousey’s head and she looks murderous.

“Let me go!” Keith struggles, but she doesn’t even bat an eyelash. They had never seen her actually fight with her airbending. It’s the first time that Hunk realizes that, probably, being the daughter of the precedent Avatar, she might actually be the strongest of them all.

“There is nothing you can do, following the sacred beast into the water,” Coran tells him. “The Princess is just trying to save you…”

“Enough!” It’s Shiro’s voice, and it takes them all by surprise. It’s not that it’s angry, they have heard him being angry and annoyed at Keith for two days now. It’s the commanding tone, the gravity that comes with it.

Keith stops moving almost immediately, like he can’t do anything else. Even Allura waits a second but lets the air dissipate quickly. Shiro hasn’t even moved and no one is speaking, a little afraid.

“Let’s find a place to camp,” he says. “Keith sit back down.” Everyone just nods. Even Keith does as he’s told immediately, and the air is heavy with tension.

It feels strange, but everyone stays silent, not wanting to risk Shiro's wrath. Hunk looks at Pidge, who is watching them with an unsure expression, and then he turns towards Lance.

"I know I should feel scared," Lance tells him, whispering, "but all I really want to ask is if Shiro is going to spank Keith later."

Hunk almost chokes in his effort not to laugh.

 

 

 

They fly for hours before setting down on an island near the Fire Empire borders. No one had really talked in what felt like years and the air had been filled with discomfort.

He knows it's mostly his fault. He does realize that he's been acting like a child, and yet he can't stop. Every time he tries Lance's words, careless even if not meant to harm, come back with a vengeance.

Shiro had tried to ask him what had happened, but how could Keith tell him? He knows Shiro is trying, but he doesn’t know how to explain to him the need to have Shiro close and yet as far away as possible.

He's a mess, he already knows it.

When everyone settles down to make camp, Shiro just moves forward with a purpose and Keith knows he has to follow even if the other hadn't even glanced in his direction. It feels like he's a little dog, yapping at his master's heels.

And yet he follows.

Shiro guides them a little further back, far away from the others, so that they can have a little bit of privacy, but also enough in the open that they would notice if anyone tried to listen in.

"Can we talk?" Shiro asks, and it seems such a strange question since nothing in Shiro's demeanor makes him think that he actually has a choice.

It's not that Keith had been ignorant of this side of Shiro, he had seen him command the other prisoners sometimes, and he had been aware of the voices in him. Of an earthbender in the resistance who had led with strength and courage. This is just the first time he's on that side of Shiro's leadership.

"Can I really say no?" He knows he sounds petulant, but he would prefer going to fight Zarkon on his own rather than have this conversation with Shiro.

"You can, but I will be very disappointed," Shiro informs him and Keith can't really help himself; he just looks up. What are they even doing?

"Look. I know, I acted foolishly with the Lionturtle, but I don't think this is..." he starts, because maybe he can derail this discussion enough that they can make it out of it alive. Shiro doesn't even pretend he's listening to him.

"I've let you have your space, because I needed it, too. We've been through a lot, and I thought that maybe you needed time." Shiro is frowning, thinking hard about something, probably the mess they are in. "But this is ridiculous."

"I told you, it doesn't matter what Lance..." he tries, because if this is about that, he just has to shut down Shiro's concerns fast enough that this doesn't become a full-blown problem. Again, the other just barrels through him, like this isn't a conversation, but a stern talking-to. It might be.

"Do you remember the kiss?" is what Shiro asks him and Keith shuts up so fast he makes an inhuman sound instead of whatever he was going to say. _Fuck, shit, abort_.

Of course Keith remembers the kiss. What the fuck? That isn't a question Shiro can just make without preparing him somehow.

He doesn't know what he looks like. He feels pale, his heart beating so fast it's almost flying out of his ribcage. Mostly he wants to puke, so he probably looks terrible.

Shiro must take his silence as permission to continue (or, probably, he doesn't think he needs any permission). "I mean, we were running for our lives, and then I pushed you down a hole, so I understand if maybe your memory is a little fuzzy. But we were both pretty... _invested_ at the time."

Shiro wants to kill him. There aren't any other explanations.

They had been running, the other firebenders hot on their tails. There hadn't been any quintessence cargo to distract them, and Keith hadn't planned the escape as well as he should have. They had realized pretty soon that they couldn't make it, that it would have all been for nothing. So Shiro had stopped him and kissed him and Keith had melted into it. It had been their first kiss and, Keith had been certain, their last. Even as he heard the footsteps of the other guards, Keith had tugged at Shiro's hair, had pushed him towards him in a desperate attempt to map Shiro's mouth, muscles, everything.

Then Shiro had created a hole in the ground and pushed him in it, making him fall and fall and fall. When Keith had regained consciousness, it was all over.

Shiro had been recaptured and Keith had been alone with his guilt.

"What do you want from me, Shiro?" he asks, and he wants to sound angry and annoyed, but his voices breaks towards the end, and he knows he's shaking slightly.

The truth is that he can't look at Shiro without looking at his white hair, at the scar on his nose, at the muscles that should be there but aren't.

It's all his fault, and every time he looks at the man he loves (because he can admit that freely into his own head) it's just a punch in his stomach, a tight grip on his head, a heavy hammer on his mind that tells him over and over again _it's all your fault._

"I want you to forgive yourself," is what the other tells him, because of course Shiro knows. Isn't that just what always happens with them? Shiro decides something and Keith just has to go along with it.

He hates Shiro, in this moment, for asking Keith for something he can't give him.

He wants to, because he always wants to give Shiro everything he can, but this? This is impossible.

Keith doesn't say that out loud, doesn't say that he doesn't deserve to, that he has to keep hating himself because Shiro isn't going to, and at least someone has to held Keith accountable.

He just stays silent.

"I don't care if you don't want to. You once told me you would do anything for me, so _do this_." And he had said that, had promised him that, not in so many words, not by actually _saying_ it, but Shiro had understood anyway. Having his promise used in such a way hurts.

It's something he cannot do and Shiro should understand that.

"That's bullshit," he says, instead, because what else can he do?

"Well, maybe if you took you head out of your ass!" Shiro explodes and Keith is taken aback for a second, surprised. Shiro has never been one to curse this violently. He had only heard him like this when he was hurt, and it shocks him "I'm worried about you, Keith."

It's ironic that this, this is what makes Keith let go. "Well, I'm worried about you!" he screams, at the top of his lungs, because how much time has Shiro had to just... breathe? Not even a day. And they have already put him into another quest to save the universe. Has Shiro even had time to realize that he's not a metalbender anymore? Has he had any time to just think about what Keith's people have done to him?

He doesn't think so and it's the reason why Keith just _can't_. He needs to be the voice of reason here, where Shiro is too compromised to be.

"You're pushing yourself, going with us on this... this madness! And you should be resting! No one notices, because they don't know you, but it has only been a little over a week and sometimes you move funny, like you’re in pain."

Shiro face doesn't betray anything, but Keith knows he's right, knows that Shiro won't ever say it. It's the reason why he had gone to Lance to talk to him, because he wanted them all to slow down and give Shiro some more time to rest.

"Do you think I wouldn't notice? You just..." he stops, shakes his head. "You always try to do things on your own and that's bullshit, okay? And you don't want my help, that's fine, but you could have asked Lance! He's an idiot but at least he can heal you!"

"I don't have time to rest," Shiro informs him. "What I can get between one Lionturtle and another..."

"Yeah, while flying on a giant bison, I see how restful that is!" he scoffs, annoyed. Even Keith's muscles are sore after a day on Mousey and he can't even imagine what Shiro's feel like.

"I'm fine..." the other tries to say, but Keith stops him before he can finish. He can't hear that.

"You're not fine! You're the farthest thing from fine I've ever seen!" He screams, and he doesn't know when it had become this way. He hadn't wanted to argue with Shiro. After the rescue he had decided to join them because he couldn't let Shiro just... go on his own.

And now... now it's like this. He feels like his words are doing more harm than good, but how can he stop? They are flowing out of him like poison and he's just letting them.

He's so tired.

"You're thin, you are full of scars, you don't have your Bending anymore, you are a lot slower in your reactions, you get tired quicker, you... you're not fine and it's _my fault._ " He's panting, scared, and he feels like he could cry, if only he let himself.

He doesn't. He doesn't deserve it.

Shiro lets him talk, takes it without even reacting, and Keith knows that he shouldn't do this, shouldn't just dump it all on him. Keith might be suffering, but Shiro... he has been tortured for a year and Keith is just laying it all on him. He's terrible.

"I didn't know you were Haggar." Shiro's voice is supposed to be light, almost like a joke, but it falls flat.

"Fuck you, Shiro." He doesn't even know why he's angry now. But maybe if he can make Shiro angry again the other will finally leave him alone.

"No, Keith, fuck you. I am hurt, and tired. Don't you think I want to sleep without waking up and thinking I'm back there? But I can't. And fuck you for thinking you have any right to make my decisions for me." Keith closes his eyes, tries to breathe through the pain, but Shiro continues without stopping and every word is a dagger in Keith's chest. "You don't know what it was like, you don't know anything. But what you're doing? Who does it help? I need you, Keith. When this is over and we... we just have to live with everything that has happened, I will need you."

Keith shakes his head, tries as hard as he can to not look at the other. "No. You will need someone _better_. So just..." he stops, doesn't know what to say. Just go away? Keith will never be able to say that.

There is a part of him that wants to run to Shiro and never let him go, but it's the part of him that's selfish, that should know better and he can't let it win. He takes a step back.

"Keith..." Shiro tries, but he doesn't let him say anything.

"I don't want to be with you, Shiro," he says, and it's true. He doesn't want to be with Shiro and hurt him more. It's also the biggest lie he will ever tell.

Keith doesn't stay long enough to know how Shiro takes his words. He retreats, goes away, and does his best not to look back.

When he reaches camp he sees everyone looking at him but he has no explanations for them. He will fight Zarkon with them, make sure he's defeated, and then go away. He's sure everyone will be happy to have him gone.

The evil firebender finally defeated, put in his place.

He looks at them, looks at their expectant faces, and he just passes them. He doesn't need to eat, not really, and he can't stand being in someone else's company right now.

 

 

 

They don't talk anymore after the fight. Shiro goes back to the others and they don't ask anything, probably taking Keith leaving to eat by himself as a good enough sign that nothing went well.

Shiro doesn't know what to say, how to explain anything about what just happened, so he's glad. He looks at his hand and forces it to stop trembling.

Is this his fault because he hasn't covered up his problem well enough? He knows he has been making Keith worry, but he tried. So hard.

He also knows that Keith is lost, that he feels guilty, but he doesn't know how to help him. Shiro's entire being is a painful reminder and maybe he should stop being so selfish. Keith obviously wants to move on, and Shiro should let him.

But the real thing is the doesn't have the time to wonder about this. Their quest doesn't stop just because he is having relationship problems with Keith, so the next day they get on to Mousey and they leave.

The volcano where the last Lionturtle should be is east of the Fire Empire capital and it's dangerous to even fly above this territory, but they don't have any other choice.

They try to stay as high as possible, but even with Allura's airbending to cover their tracks they aren't sure they have been able to move completely undetected.

Morale is as low as it can go. Not even Lance is making any jokes and they all keep looking at him and Keith like they aren't sure if they should say anything. He tries to make it obvious they shouldn't, that it's a terrible idea, and he has managed for now.

Keith isn't looking at any of them, too focused on sulking, and Shiro doesn't try to get his attention. Any other day he would have stretched his legs casually enough to brush them with Keith's, make him feel that he wasn't alone, that he supported him. Today he fears that his action would be considered an inconvenience more than anything else.

There had been days, back in the experiment room, where Keith had been the only thought that kept him going. That at least he had managed to save him, and that all his sufferings were worth it just because of that.

He understands what Keith is going through, in a way. He doesn't know what he would have done had their placed be reversed, but...

He has tried to think about what to say, tried to think about what could make it better, but Keith is the one with all the cards right now.

Shiro forgave him long ago, had never actually thought there was something to forgive, but if Keith doesn't forgive himself it's worthless. Shiro's words don't carry the weight they should.

At one point, surprisingly, it's Pidge that talks to him. She still is, besides Keith, the one that keeps herself a little more distant than the others. He tries to talk to her as much as he can, using Matt as a way to connect, but sometimes thinking about Matt is too painful. Sometimes it only serves to bring forth memories he wants to forget.

"I don't know much about Keith," Pidge tells him, looking ahead, "but I... I know what survivor's guilt feels like." She's playing with the fabric of her pants and she looks unsure.

Shiro doesn't know how to help her. Would she be angry, too, as Keith is, if he tries to make her understand that her brother had only been happy that she wasn't there?

"It takes a long time to get over it. I'm not..." she shrugs, helplessly. "I don't know how to help him. But at one point... it should get easier. You just have to give him time."

He looks at her and then in the direction where he knows Keith is, even if he can't really see him. "I don't think time is helping him. I think it's getting worse."

"Yeah. It does that." But she almost smiles at him. He hesitates only a second before putting his hand on her shoulder and squeezing.

"We're going to save your brother, you know? And then find your father," he promises her. They might be dead, he knows that, but he doesn't regret promising.

She smiles at him too, and she's smart, she knows what he isn't saying. How slim the chances of finding _both_ of them are. They just need a moment to believe.

In the end they travel two days before they reach a place close enough to the volcano. They can't fly Mousey over it, the heat too strong for him, and they'll have to advance by foot.

Coran decides to stay with him with a smile and a wave, saying he needs to read some old tome, and they venture forward.

The hike should be two hours long at best, but the silence makes it seem like days. Everyone looks back at him, to have some kind of clue how to act, but he really doesn't know. He's lost, just as they are, and this time he doesn't have the certainty that everything with Keith will work out.

He feels completely alone.

And yet he still worries more about Keith than himself. What does that say about him? He sees him closed off, glaring at everyone that tries to talk to him and he's scared for him.

Is he trying to postpone thinking about his problems by focusing on Keith's? Probably. It might not be healthy, but it's what is keeping him going.

The trek is stressful, and the heat starts to become scorching very soon, but no one even tries to protest. How can he make this better?

When the quintessence starts to react they are almost at the top and Shiro wonders if they really will have to get this close to the burning lava.

"Can't you just lavabend this lava to be less hot?" Lance screams at Hunk, who's walking behind him, trying to overcome the loud roaring of the quintessence.

"I don't think it works like that. I could turn it all into stone, maybe, I'm not sure..." Before anyone can even try and convince themselves it's something doable, Allura shakes her head.

"We're guests here, boys, let's honor this trial," she tells them, but she's sweating profusely and walking slow.

Keith is panting slightly, but he's not slowing down.

"You don't have to come. I can just go alone," Keith informs them, stubborn to the very end. Shiro can see the others actually considering it, so he pushes forward with a sigh.

"You can stop here. I'll follow Keith and make sure nothing happens," he tells them, because it's useless for all of them to arrive at the Lionturtle, and Pidge is looking too red for his liking.

"Are you sure?" Allura is hesitant in her question, but Shiro can hear what she doesn't want to ask. Is he sure after everything that has happened that he wants to be alone with Keith? Honestly, Shiro isn't really sure, but he's not going to let him do this alone, even if Keith is hurt and it's hurting him at the same time. Or maybe even more so because they are both a little bit broken and not sure how to heal the wounds.

"Yeah. Keep an eye on them." He tries to reassure her and then he starts walking faster, even if it makes his legs ache, to catch up to Keith.

He can pinpoint the moment when Keith notices him, because he slows down, allows him to catch up. Shiro would normally smile, but he's tired and he doesn't know what to think.

"You should go back," Keith hisses angrily. "This isn't good for you."

He's probably right, but Shiro just sets his shoulders and keeps going "Yeah, well, I’ve never been good at doing things that are good for me." Keith mumbles something but it takes a second for the scorching heat to subside. He looks back and he sees the firebender moving his hands and the air around them changes, cools. The little shit.

"You can heatbend," he tells him, surprised, but it makes perfect sense, really. Keith has the decency to look a little ashamed but he doesn't say anything, doesn't try and justify himself, and he just keeps going, sending all the hot air to the other side.

Shiro wonders for a second if they really do need him for Voltron and if he really loves him, but unfortunately the answer is yes to both of those questions.

"Why are you heatbending now?" he asks instead, because he will take his little revenges where he can. Keith just scowls, and doesn't answer him. That's the only reason that he needs.

The trek gets faster after that, without the heat slowing their movements, and even when they reach the top it almost doesn't feel like they are on top of a volcano.

"It should be here," he says, looking around, and it doesn't take long for the earth to shake and the burning lava to rising. Shiro takes a step back, almost out of instinct, and Keith positions himself behind him, almost as if to prevent him from falling down.

The last Lionturtle is red, almost as small as the Air Lionturtle and on his back he has a little mountain, still dripping hot lava. Keith looks at him, surprised for a second, and then he stops moving his hands, but the air doesn't return hot.

It's not really that surprising that the Lionturtle knows how to heatbend, but Shiro can't help but be grateful.

"You are here for the blessing," the Lionturtle says, no doubt in his voice, and Keith nods and step forward.

Shiro hangs back, watching this whole exchange with a little apprehension. The words of the Water Lionturtle still ring in his ears, a warning that looms between them. Maybe the spirit had exaggerated? Or maybe it had been wrong, too focused on Lance to properly judge Keith?

When the Red Lionturtle looks at Keith and says, "You are not worthy of my blessing," it's like a little piece of Shiro's heart breaks.

He knows what this will do to Keith, he knows how hard, how terrible this will be for him, and he can see it in his shoulders, in the part of his face Shiro can see.

"What do you mean? I'm... I traveled all this way, I'm here! Give me the blessing!" Keith angrily screams, but his yells fall on deaf ears and the Lionturtle just looks on, tranquil.

"I will not give my blessing to someone that doesn't deserve it, that hides behinds walls and is scared even of himself," the beast informs them and for a second his eyes land on Shiro, watching him as well. He doesn't know what to think, isn't sure what to say, but the moment passes quickly and the beast's attention focuses again on Keith.

"You're weak. A little child. A true firebender must be bold, ready to take action," the Lionturtle continues, "They must be bold, intrepid, and ready to face any adversity."

"I've fought my entire people to get here!" Keith reminds him, throws it at the spirit like an accusation. "I've been shunned, I've fled and run for months! I've fought!"

"The enemies that lay outside are the weakest of the foes a man must battle. You might be ready to face what's out there, Child of the Fire," and then it raises a claw, as if to give him his blessing, but it stops short and points at Keith's chest, "it's what's inside that leaves you trembling. Weak."

They are harsh words and Keith looks at it, surprised and a little hurt. Shiro can't just stand there, let all this happen, so he steps forward, tries in any way to shield Keith from what's happening.

"He's not a coward," he informs the Lionturtle, but again his protest is met with indifference. It's only because he's so close that he sees what Keith wants to do, the fact that he's preparing himself to move, jump forward and he takes the other's waist, keeps him close. "What do you want to do? Jump into boiling lava?"

"[I'm not weak!](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165003437940/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith)" Keith screams, and it looks like it might have hurt, like he put his entire soul into it. It's a scream that talks of pain and suffering and Shiro can't help but hold him tighter.

He doesn't know what to say, isn't sure that anything he could say would be helpful, so he just doesn't let go.

"Let me go!" Keith is struggling, hard, but Shiro just shakes his head.

"What do you think you can do? Jump into lava and demonstrate you're not a coward? It doesn't work like this, Keith," he tells him, and it's only when the Lionturtle vanishes that Keith stops completely.

He's limp in his arms, like he's too tired to do anything, and Shiro's heart aches for him.

"I'm..." he tries, but Keith pushes him away with a strength and a viciousness that leave Shiro surprised and stunned.

"This is all your fault!" Keith tells him, and it's angry, resentful. It cuts deeper than anything Keith had said the day before "If I hadn't met you. None of this would have happened." Shiro looks at him, and nods, because really, what else can he say, he's probably right, but...

"You were having doubts long before I came," he reminds him, because Keith had shared that one night, while they were whispering to avoid getting caught. "You were feeling trapped in a life you didn't think was right. I'm sorry... for everything else, but I'm not sorry for making you accept that what Zarkon is doing is wrong."

Keith's hands clench into fists and Shiro wonders if maybe Keith is going to hit him and what his options are. Should he let him? Should he stop him?

The air grows impossibly hot again, enough that Shiro is starting to feel dizzy, but it's obvious some of the Lionturtle's effect still remains and it's survivable, at least.

"I wish I had left you to rot," Keith says, and he looks Shiro right in the eye while he does. Shiro doesn't look away and the lie is so easy to spot, the truth so easily decrypted on Keith's face, it almost makes Shiro weep.

He doesn't know why Keith is reacting this way, not really, can't even imagine how it had felt for him in the year they have been apart. Has this ordeal broken them so much and in such different places that they can't fit together anymore? "I'm so glad I met you," is the only thing he can say, the truth he can read in Keith's eyes but that the other doesn't have the courage to admit.

The Lionturtle might be right, in this.

It seems to shock Keith, almost at if he hadn't really thought Shiro capable of revealing the truth so easily. It's sad, really.

"I don't mean only because you helped me escape in the end. Your existence made it all bearable," he continues, because he doesn't remember if he had ever told him this, if he had ever bared his soul so completely. Keith deserves this. "Even in that damn prison, you made me feel like I had something that could be worth fighting for. If I'm alive, today, is because of-"

"Shut up!" it's the second scream he has heard Keith do like this, almost a wounded cry for help. But Shiro doesn't stop, doesn't let him hide this.

"You," he finishes, and he stands tall, with sweat drenching his clothes and labored breathing.

He doesn't want to tell Keith he loves him, even if he does, because that's not the point. The love they feel, their feelings for each other, have never been the problem.

Keith stays silent for a moment and then he looks up, almost ready to say something. He doesn't in the end. He just runs back and Shiro is left there, wondering what else he can do.

Maybe nothing.

It's the worst realization of his life.

 

 

 

Keith runs. He knows that everything he has done, every single word out of his mouth, had just proven the Lionturtle's point.

He feels weak; every moment in Shiro's presence leaves him feeling frail, raw, broken. It has been like this since the beginning, but now it's a gaping wound he doesn't know how to close.

Keith runs and he passes by the others, hears their cry of surprise and worry, but he can't stop. He said horrible things to Shiro, things that no one should forgive him for, and Shiro took them in, hadn't even tried to refuse them, and then answered with words that Keith wants to say but can't.

He almost reaches the end of the mountain road when he trips on something and falls flat on his face. It hurt far less than anything else.

"Finally! I've been calling you for ten minutes! I'm not good at running, Keith!" someone says and he looks back to Pidge, stepping down from a block of rock she had most probably used to follow him.

"Go away," he tells her, because he's not fit for any company, but he already knows it's useless. Maybe if it had been Lance, Hunk, or even Allura, he could have made them leave easily, but Pidge is driven, focused. The first night, in the woods, she had looked in his eyes and Keith had recognized a soul ready to do anything for those they love.

This is the Pidge that stands in front of him now and it's a force he can’t help but fear.

"Lance and Hunk have gone back to make sure Shiro is okay. And I hope he is because I really don't want to have to kill you," she informs him, "but I think you couldn't hurt Shiro even if you wanted to"

He almost laughs. "You're wrong. I can. I have." Maybe not physically, but he knows his words had hurt him. He had said them exactly for that reason. He's so ashamed of himself.

"Only because he lets you," It's the plain way she says it, like everyone knows, that makes him stop. He has never been particularly subtle, he's aware of that, but he thought that Shiro had been better than him.

Pidge doesn't seem to think so.

"I don't know what you think..." he starts, but she laughs in his face immediately.

"If you're trying to tell me that you and Shiro aren't in love, that Aircraft has already sailed," she informs him with a smirk. "What the others don't understand is why you're acting like this."

"The others? So you do understand?" It's surprising to hear, but he'll take what he can get.

"Of course I do," She shrugs and looks over him, almost like she's glancing at something far beyond the horizon. "You feel guilty. You got off scot-free and Shiro had to suffer instead of you. So you want to stay away, make it easier on him."

He nods, because that's exactly what it is, that's what he has to do. No one else gets it.

Keith had tried to save Shiro and all he had done was make it worse for him. He knew Haggar had been interested in Shiro either way, but maybe had Keith not convinced the other to flee she would have treated him like any other experiment. He can see the torture in Shiro’s body and it’s an anomaly, no one else had it this bad.

"But the thing is," Pidge continues, as coldly as she began, "it's that it's bullshit."

Keith looks at her but he should have known she couldn't understand. Her family might be in danger, but it's not her fault. They aren't the same.

"You don't understand," he tells her then, tries to make her see. "It's more complicated than that."

"It's really not." She stops him immediately, with an annoyed huff. "You think that just because you're a firebender, just because you couldn't defeat an entire army on your own, everything that happened to Shiro is your fault. I don't know what happened then, it might be, but that's not the point!" She's screaming now, fierce and angry. She's small, but Keith almost takes a step back, surprised and intimidated. "The point is that you're scared because Shiro is here, he's fine, and maybe he's not the same person. Maybe he doesn't like you any more, maybe he blames you, and you don't want to find it out. So you leave him alone!"

"I haven't..." he tries, but she shuts him up with a single glance.

"Have you talked to him about what happened? Have you tried?" They both know the answer to that, of course, but how could he have started the conversation? _Do you maybe want to talk about the torture my people put you through_? "Or have you just let your fears get in the way of that?"

"I..." he doesn't know what to say, how to make her understand, how to make his action sound better than what she's saying. "He can talk to you..."

"Yeah, because we know him so well," she scoffs, harsh. "I don't know what I'll do when I find my family, I just know I don't want them to think for even a second that they are alone".

Does Shiro think he's alone? It's a question he hasn't asked himself yet and it's chilling. Because Shiro shoulders everything by himself, pushes people away without even realizing he is doing it. This time, he realizes, Shiro tried, but Keith had shut him down.

"He deserves better," he says instead, because it's the only thing he can say. It's the only excuse he has left and she can't say anything to that, she's probably the one who agrees the most with him.

"We all deserve better than this fucking war, Keith," she tells him and he almost laughs. "I don't hate you because you're a firebender. Maybe I did in the beginning, a little, but what you did to save Shiro... I knew you were different."

He looks at his feet and shakes his head. "I don't think I am. I... I know a lot of firebenders have done a lot of terrible things but that's the soldiers. The people under Zarkon's command. There are good people in the cities... I..."

"Don't ask me to forgive them all," Pidge tells him, looking strangely antagonistic. "Fight this battle for them, too, if you care about restoring their honor."

He looks at her, surprised, and she smiles, but it's a sad thing. "Do you think that we'll defeat Zarkon and everything will be over? There will be a world left in shambles. And someone will have to put it back together."

Pidge's words are heavy on his shoulders, the truth of something he had never thought about, too focused on the present, on Shiro, on himself. At the same time he laughs. "I can't even sort my feelings. Let alone an entire nation."

And Pidge laughs and nods. "That's why you need to make sure you don't let Shiro go. We can relax while we leave everything to him and Allura."

At the mention of Shiro's name he grimaces, thinking about everything he had said at the top of the volcano, all the terrible things he had used to hurt the other as deeply as he could.

"I don't know if he'll forgive me," he reveals to her, a confession that maybe tells her how much he has fucked up, how much he regrets it.

She huffs, and shakes her head. "If you really think that, you've not been paying attention."

Keith almost smiles at that, a little surprised. "He's not that patient, you know? He has a really short temper." It's one of the things he had liked more about the other, in the beginning. This little imperfection that had made him more human than what the legends had said.

"Something tells me you'll find a way to make him forgive you," she says and she smirks, a face that looks strange on her, that makes her finally look as young as she should be.

This war has made them all age so fast.

"That was a joke I would have expected from Lance..." he tells her instead, but he's smiling. Slightly. He's still not sure what he should tell Shiro, he still believes it would be better for the other in the long run to be away from Keith and, most of all, he's still so scared that he will open himself up to Shiro only to be hurt again.

Still he has never wanted his hurt to become the reason Shiro hurts more.

Keith gets up, looks at the little unnatural rock he had tripped into and then looks at Pidge.

"Thank you," he tells her, and he hopes she knows it isn't only for this, but for everything she has done since the beginning to help him, help everyone else.

"I'm just using you all to get to my family," she replies quickly, but the lie is so evident he doesn't even comment on it.

He goes back at a slower pace, Pidge following him like a hawk, and he tries to think about what he can say, how to make this right. He doesn't think he can.

Words have never been his allies, they have been weapons most of all, a way to inflict pain quickly. Keith had started using them for something good with Shiro, but he feels rusty now.

He has one chance, he knows. Even if he manages to actually convince Shiro of listening to him now, if he doesn’t do it right, if he doesn’t find the words… not even Shiro is going to let him try over and over again.

When they return to the resting place they find Allura looking back at them with a stern look in her eyes and, behind her, Lance and Hunk fussing over Shiro.

Shiro looks a little short of breath and Keith almost wants to punch himself. It had been hot, too hot, and after all the things he had told Shiro before—how he should take better care of himself—he had left him there, alone.

When Hunk notices him he looks back at Shiro, a little uncertain, and Keith wants to sigh. Time to face the music.

Allura comes down quickly, almost to stop him, but Pidge just shakes her head like a signal that everything is going to be okay. He feels a little like a kid that needs to be supervised, but he agrees that he had been acting a little bit like that.

So he keeps going, and when both Lance and Shiro notice him he has to force himself to keep going under Shiro's attentive stare and Lance's angry one.

Surprisingly it's Lance that stops him before he can reach Shiro. "I'm doing this as the only person here with an ability to heal people: are you done being a dickhead?"

He wants to ask him if Shiro is okay, how much stress his stupid stunt has put on Shiro’s body, but instead he just nods. Whatever Shiro decides to do, at the end of this, Keith is going to be honest, and that has to be enough.

Lance studies him for a moment more before nodding. "Okay, but have this conversation somewhere a little cooler. You left him in a volcano. Why he even likes you is a mystery."

It's not like Keith can't relate, but he's not going to say it. It's a surprise when Shiro puts his hand on Lance’s shoulder and interrupts them.

"Have you calmed down, Keith?" he asks, like nothing is wrong. Like Keith hasn’t screamed terrible things at him, like the past days he hasn’t been shoving him away.

Keith doesn't want this.

"I need to talk to you," he says then, and he just takes Shiro’s hand and leads him away, not even a little surprised when Shiro follows without protesting.

It reminds him of the night of their failed escape, where Keith had just told Shiro to follow him and the other had done it without questioning. It's chilling, now, realizing what power Shiro had given him, how much trust Shiro had put in him. Has Keith ever trusted someone this much?

They walk for ten minutes and all Keith can think about is that Shiro's skin is hot, too hot. He begins heatbending almost immediately, making sure to make him comfortable.

"Thank you," Shiro says immediately, but Keith doesn't really want to be thanked.

Now that they are alone, that the moment has come, he's left speechless. What should he say? He had said he should be honest, but what does that even mean? Shiro doesn't try to make him talk. He doesn't say anything and he just looks quietly.

It's that silence that finally gets Keith going: "I'm sorry. For everything. For not saving you that day, for not making you escape before, for not trying harder. For ignoring you now, for making this so much harder than it needed to be, but Shiro... you have to realize that this is all my fault. Everything you've been through..." he stops, tries to think, and he realizes that he's breathing funny. Is he going to cry?

Shiro opens his mouth to say something but Keith stops him immediately. "No, wait, let me finish. You might not agree but it's the truth and it's something we both need to accept. But I'm so tired, Shiro. I tried to let you be... I thought it was the best idea. You... I don't deserve you."

"No," Shiro cuts in and Keith tries to make him understand that he needs to talk, but just as he had said to Pidge, Shiro isn't that patient. "I can't let you say those things. Deserve me? I'm not a gift someone has given you, Keith. I've chosen you and that's it. That's all there is." He says it like it's easy, like it's how it's supposed to be, but it's such an alien concept to Keith, who had never had anyone choose him.

"Then tell me what to do!" he almost screams, because he feels lost, without any way of finding an exit from this.

"It doesn't work like that. I can't tell you how to find your way. Do you really think you did all this to me?" He points at his face, at the scar, at the hair. And yes, Keith does, even if he knows it's not true. “Do you think you have control over every single thing that happens to me?”

“You let me go!” Keith tells him. “You sacrificed yourself because I couldn’t plan the escape better! Of course it’s my fault!”

Shiro advances, and they are still holding hands. Keith tries to take a step back, pull his hand away, but Shiro doesn’t let him. “I did,” he tells him, “and it was my decision. Maybe we could have run together. Maybe I was too quick in deciding that we couldn’t both make it. This is on me, Keith.”

Keith shakes his head immediately because the sole thought of Shiro blaming himself for what he had to endure destroys him. “Don’t say that, you….”

“It’s true,” Shiro continues, a hard expression on his face. “I made the decision for you, too. Be _angry_ at me, Keith. I know you are.”

“No!” he replies immediately, but something stirs inside of him. Why hadn’t Shiro talked with Keith? Why hadn’t he tried to escape in the hole with him? He opens his mouth and he realizes with a clarity that scares him that he _is_ angry at Shiro. “Didn’t you think I could protect you?”

Shiro looks behind them and then he smiles. “I think you protected me all along. I wanted… I wanted to return the favor.”

“I didn’t do anything,” he immediately counters, but Shiro holds his hand a little tighter and he stops.

“You did. That’s what I’m trying to make you understand. You did so much for me. And I know you feel guilty, that’s on me, too, but you were the only thing keeping me sane there and I wanted… I needed you to be okay. I was selfish.” Shiro stops and smiles at his feet. "And maybe by doing that I ruined this. Maybe we were ruined since the beginning. We didn’t have a fairy tale romance, I’m… I’m not okay, and this thing we have, it's not perfect, but it's what we have. I don’t know if it can be enough, if I can be enough, but I want this. I do."

“Shiro, do you really think you’re the problem?" He wants that to be clear, he wants Shiro to know that, be certain of it. Because Keith had never had any other choice than to be in love with Shiro and to pretend that's not true is futile. "Do you hear what everyone says? Firebenders bring war and terror and unhappiness. Look at you!"

Shiro takes another step forward and it feels like they are closer than they have ever been.

“I could get offended,” Shiro tells him, but his tone is light. Keith looks up at him, forces himself to _look_ at Shiro’s face, like he hadn’t had the courage to do until now. He raises his free hand, a little hesitantly, and he touches Shiro’s scar, trying to be as gentle as possible. Shiro closes his eyes at the touch.

He has hurt this man so much, and the other still trusts him. “Maybe I could be angry at you, but I’m angrier at myself. I should have…”

“There was nothing you could have d-” Shiro tries, but Keith stops him.

“We’re being honest here. Don’t lie to me,” he forces out. He doesn’t really want to hear the truth, he thinks, but he deserves it. “I don’t believe you never hated me, at least a little.”

The other stays silent for a second, before opening his eyes. Keith is still touching his scar, and almost out of his own volition his hand moves to Shiro’s cheek.

"I forgave you a long time ago. I was waiting for you to be ready to forgive yourself," Shiro says, slow and light, like a caress.

"That's a terrible plan, Shiro. I don't think I ever will." Because he can't think of any way of letting go of this guilt, of this rock on his stomach.

"I only have good plans, Keith. You just have to make them happen," Shiro's response is almost playful and for a moment they smile. It's an instant, a fleeting moment gone too soon.

"I'm glad I met you. Even with everything I did to you, even with... I'm glad. I was being an ass, I..." The words are gone from his mouth too fast to stop them, there are so many things he wants Shiro to know. So many lies he regrets from his outburst earlier.

But Shiro just shakes his head and kisses him.

It's different from the first, and only, kiss they had shared. It's slower, more intimate. It feels like a promise, like something he can depend on. It's such a marvelous concept that Keith wants more.

He pushes back, gets on the tips of his toes, so that he can have better access, plaster his torso onto Shiro's chest. It's like coming home after a long day, and like free-falling from a thousand feet.

Why had he waited? Why had he ever thought that all this pining and guilt and terrible decision-making was worth waiting for this?

He's an idiot.

Shiro steps back slightly, and there is a little smirk on his face, like he knows exactly what he's doing to Keith's sanity and he enjoys it.

"Are we done being stupid?" Shiro asks, but it's kind, gentle.

Keith hopes they are, hopes that, with time, he will be able to look at the other and not see all his errors, all his failures. It feels like a long way from here, but he also feels like he has taken a step in the right direction.

"You're the responsible one, Shiro, you should have done something before now," he reminds him, but he smiles as well.

For the first time in a long, long time it feels like maybe he can find peace, somewhere along the line, as well as freedom.

When they come back the others are waiting for them, trying to look like they haven't been trying to listen in. Normally he would be annoyed, but he has Shiro's hand in his and maybe, for once, he can let it slide.


	3. Book Three: Freedom

 

They are walking back now, after having left Keith to his trial. He had told them to go back, that he would catch up a little later. Shiro tried to tell him he would go with him, but the other had smiled and told him that he needed to do it alone.

Allura looks in front of her and tries to think about everything that has happened today and tries to see it from Keith's point of view. It isn't something she has tried to do since this whole thing has started, even knowing when she's been starting to feel like she might even like Keith a little...

She understands the guilt that drives him. She feels it every day when she thinks about her dad, but at the same time she has never worked for a tyrannical government.

"What will we do after this?" Pidge asks, fixing her glasses. "We'll have all the blessings, but we don't really know how to form Voltron."

"Maybe we just need to have all the pieces, and then it will come to us." Lance doesn't sound convinced, but at the same time it's the only thing they can hope for.

"Maybe the quintessence will help us?" Hunk suggests, but the possibilities of that are low. It's just a mineral, it might be magical, but it probably has its limits.

"I think we will just have to concentrate. Try to be a single unit." Shiro sounds convinced, but the stupid happy grin on his face is completely unrelated to the matter at hand, so she doesn't know how much to trust his hunches.

"I'm terrible at meditating," Pidge informs them with a grimace. "All that staying put and understanding oneself... it isn't for me."

"I don't think we'll have many other choices," she informs Pidge, because as much as she doesn't trust Shiro to be objective right now, the truth is that it's something worth trying.

They are getting close to the place where they had left Coran when Pidge stops and furrows her brow. "Wait" she whispers, and crouches a little down, touching the earth and closing her eyes "There's something wrong."

"There is?" Hunk wonders out loud, looking around him frantically. Shiro, on the other hand is crouching too, trying to sense something.

The two earthbenders stay still for a moment before they open their eyes. "Soldiers." It's Shiro that says it, and his voice is grave, focused. He doesn't seem scared, but they aren't at their best.

"How many?" Lance asks immediately, taking a step back as if someone is just in front of him.

"I don't know, exactly." Pidge is hesitating, which means that something is wrong, something she doesn't want to say.

It's Shiro that cuts in. "Too many for us to take one on one." It's surprising and a little scary. Allura notices the calm set of his shoulders, and the flat tone of his voice. If he's nervous in any way she can't really tell. It's an impressive skill.

"Then what do we do?" Hunk, on the other hand, sounds and looks like a disaster.

Allura hasn't led anyone in years and years, but to her it feels like yesterday. So she squares her shoulders as well and tries to remember that Shiro is not the only one with experience here.

"We have the upper hand; they don't know where we are," she says and Shiro looks at her before nodding, approving. They've thought of the same plan then, good. "We split up and we attack them from all sides."

"That doesn't seem like a good idea, we could just run! Keith is coming back soon!" Hunk tries, looking at Lance. "Right? We don't need to fight we can just..."

"They have Coran," Pidge stops him, and immediately Hunk shuts up.

It's true, had it not been for Coran they could have left them to whatever they were doing, ignoring their presence and making sure to disappear as soon as possible. It's not a possibility in this case.

They have Coran and Allura would never let them hurt him.

"Okay. So. Splitting up," Lance says, with a confidence it's obvious he doesn't really have. She has to remember that he and Hunk are young, a little naive, and that they don't deserve to be in this situation.

"Lance, you have your flask?" Allura asks immediately, while Lance nods, holding it up.

"I just hope it hasn't evaporated along the way," he mumbles, and they all hope the same.

"You should probably stay behind," Pidge tells her, then, and Allura looks at her, betrayed. "They don't know there is a last airbender! You're our only real surprise. They probably aren't ready to counter you!" she continues, and it's not completely wrong, but Allura can't even think about staying on the sidelines.

Her face must be clear because Shiro looks at her and then nods, putting his hand on Pidge's shoulder "You're right, but... I think it's a risk we have to take. If we don't let anyone escape they can't report back to Zarkon."

No one moves for a second and Pidge looks back at her, studies her for a second, and Allura doesn't know what she's trying to find, what she can do to convince her she has to do this, but whatever she does must be enough. In the end Pidge nods, looks at Lance and Hunk, and then back at Shiro.

"Okay, then we're waiting for Keith?" she asks and, before Allura can nod, they hear a squeak, as loud as she has ever hear it.

They are hurting Plachulatt. She looks panicked for a second before she realizes that Lance, Hunk and Pidge seems to be affected by this as much as she is.

"They are gonna pay for that!" Lance says, starting to move forward. Shiro stops him immediately and just shakes his head.

"No, they’re just trying to bait us. We have to remain calm, wait for Keith and..." he tries, but Allura doesn't care. In this last year, after waking up, Plachulatt has been her only real companion. A bond between an airbender and their bison is hard to build, but absolute.

If she lets him be hurt without doing anything, she could never forgive herself.

So she runs, jumps over Shiro and just _goes_. She can hear him calling, trying to stop her, and rationally she knows he's right, it's a terrible decision, but she doesn't care.

She doesn't really look back, even if they didn't follow her she would do it anyway, but she knows they're hot behind her. The knowledge comforts her. She is not alone, not anymore.

Once she's near the clearance Allura creates a whirlwind under her feet, pushing herself up and finally looking down at the Benders they'll have to fight.

There are more than twenty and they have the upper hand, but she doesn't care. She sees the one whose flaming hand is still on Plachulatt's fur and she creates a wind blade with her leg, while falling down. It pushes the firebender away from her bison and cuts his arm.

She feels the other attacks on her, the air hot with fire, but she also sees some firebender being thrown in the air by rocks, or receiving ice shards to the chests. While she sends a blast of air to one of the firebenders she also feels Shiro pass her by, his rock arm in front of him almost as shield.

"I knew it was you," she hears someone say and she looks to the side to see a firebender with a flaming hand clash with Shiro.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Lance screams, behind her, while freezing the legs of a firebender while Hunk uses the distraction to hit him with a slab of earth. "They have one of those, too?"

"Sendak," Shiro says, surprised, while he jumps back to avoid being hit. "Be careful, he's strong!"

The problem is they don't have the time to be careful. They have knocked down five, but there are still fifteen of them attacking them, and Pidge is shielding them, creating slabs to hide behind, but there are too many enemies for them.

Lance aims a shot straight to a guy's eye and Allura joins in by gut-punching him with a gust of wind strong enough to send him flying back.

She can see Hunk creating pools of lava at the enemies’ feets and then hit their heads with rocks.

They are doing good, but there are too many.

She can see Shiro fighting with Sendak, using their arms as weapons. They are evenly matched, but it's obvious that Shiro is tired, his reflexes less sharp.

"Allura, watch out!" someone screams and she has enough time to hunker down before a fireball runs past where her head had been. She gets back up and creates a bubble around the guy's head, removing the air from his lungs slowly. "Cover me!" she screams.

Pidge runs in front of her and intercepts the hits coming her way, while Lance creates more ice shards as projectiles.

They finally manage to hit the one that was guarding Coran and he jumps up, even while restrained, and kicks someone in the groin. It's a valiant effort and Lance laughs while he hits the same guy on the head, making him go down.

Allura doesn't know what to do; even with the help there are too many of them, and not enough of their team.

"What can we do?" Pidge asks, hiding behind one of her walls. "There are too many of them!"

Allura looks around, where Shiro is still fighting, where Coran is running to the forest, to Lance and Hunk trying to hold their own as long as they can and she realizes her brash decision has brought them in this mess. It comes down to her to make everything right.

"Just, keep them busy," she tells them, and while they nod, she can see they are skeptical. She doesn't care, she doesn't have the time.

She crouches down and tries to concentrate. She starts to move her hand in a circular motion, creating a little tornado on her hands, but she needs it to be bigger, much bigger.

She's alone, there are limits to the kind of power she can wield, but at the same time she has to help them. She has to do something, she has to push herself.

She feels a rush coming through her, a sense of clarity she didn't have before and isn't sure where it comes from, but she lets it happen. She lets it flow inside of her, travel through her veins, and reach her hand. In a flash the little tornado she has created grows, stronger than she had hoped for.

"Whoooa" she hears Lance say, but she can’t really focus on him. She moves behind the tornado, without stopping her hands. It feels like she isn't even in control of her body, like something else is guiding her.

"Move," she tells them and then she pushes the wind forward, she lets the force _free_ and looks on as the wind targets her enemies, while the others duck down. Even Shiro avoids a punch by Sendak and then just gets on the ground, creating a little slab from the ground that pushes Sendak up, towards the wind.

Allura sees them all get caught in the tornado, sees the firebenders fly fast. It feels like she’s not even in control of her own body.

In the end, she lets it go and lets them fall, hard, on the ground.. The earthbenders look dazed for a second before they move, trapping them all with rocks.

It's over and Allura blinks and everything comes back. Sounds, the feeling in her hands. It's like she hadn't really been there all this time and had just watched someone else move her body.

"That..." Hunk starts before Pidge and Lance almost scream, "was awesome!"

"I have to say, you saved us, Allura," Shiro confirms, getting on his feet and looking a little confused. Allura knows perfectly well how that feels.

"Was that the blessing?" Lance asks, looking around with almost wonder in his eyes. They just escaped death, but Allura knows what he means. She feels more alive now than ever.

She looks at her hands, tries to understand how could she create that much power and falls short. She thinks it was almost as powerful as her father's Avatar's form.

"What the hell is going on?" someone screams behind them and they look back to see Keith, panting. He had probably run all the way here when he had seen the tornado, that _she_ created.

"Allura was just a badass, Fire Mullet," Lance says, with a grin. "She just _kapowed!_ these asshole firebenders!"

"No, no, it was more like, _bawush,_ " Hunk tells him seriously, imitating a gust of wind.

Keith looks more confused than anything else, but Allura can't really focus on him.

"Princess, that was..." Coran starts, joining them again, but before he finishes, Plachulatt bounces to her and licks her face.

She hugs his neck immediately and feels such a sense of immediate relief. He's okay, that's what's important.

"I didn’t even leave you guys for half an hour!" Keith shouts.

"And we saved the day," Lance says obnoxiously, and she laughs in Plachulatt's fur.

"You think it's over?" they hear and when they look they see Sendak looking at them, a sneer on his face. "She knows where you are. She sent us. And she will send more."

They all stop, stunned for a second, before Shiro moves forward. "She? You mean Haggar?"

Sendak laughs, an ugly sound that scratches her ears. "She has plans for you, Shirogane," he tells him, and there is no compassion in his eyes, almost no sense of humanity left. "You survived when she removed your bending, so few do. She would make you a prototype. Before killing you, of course."

"A prototype?" Shiro asks, and at this point she notices that Keith has moved, positioning himself between Sendak and Shiro, like a protective dog.

"Isn't she trying to erase bending from the world?" Lance asks him, staying behind. "We know her devious plan! I'm sorry, you're too late!"

"Remove bending? No," Sendak says, with a smile. "All of this is only to create something stronger. Something better."

"What are you talking about?" Pidge looks shaken, and she looks angry. "And what have you done with my family?"

Sendak laughs again, and it sends chill down her spine. "Why don't you find out? There is a facility near here. Go to her, make your ridiculous grand entrance. Our Emperor will crush you like the insects you are!" He opens his mouth, about to say something else, but Allura has had enough, and she creates a wind bubble around his head, taking enough air to make him sleep.

They all look shaken, trembling a little. She can't even imagine what he meant when he talked about their plans, when he said that it was something even bigger than just removing people’s Bending. It scares her; if she has to be honest, she's terrified. She won't let herself show it.

The silence stretches for a few minutes before Pidge says, determined, "I have to go there, if any of my family is here then I... I have to save them." She's trembling a little and it's obvious the ordeal has taken a lot out of her.

It's Shiro that advances and puts his hand on her shoulder like before. A silent comfort.

"We will, but first we need to move and plan," he tells her and Pidge wants to say they have to go now. He squeezes her shoulder again and looks back at every single one of them. "Before that, we need to form Voltron."

 

 

 

They get on Mousey and they fly away, leaving the firebenders behind. Mousey is tired, a little slower, and Pidge puts a hand on his fur, trying to make him feel better, but her mind is spiralling out of control.

If Matt or her father are at the facility Sendak pointed out... they need to go there. They need to save them, but she knows they don't have any chance of doing it right now. It's not like when they saved Shiro: they don't know the layout of the place, they don't know how to make sure they don't run into a lot of guards.

Attacking now, without a plan, would only mean suicide.

But Allura. What Allura did, the power she generated, is impossible; she knows that. Even a strong airbender couldn't have made that kind of tornado happen in just a few seconds, and she had looked... Pidge hadn't got a good look at her, okay, but at the same time she had been almost glowing, wind blowing in her hair and a strange light in her eyes.

Pidge looks at her hands and tries to imagine what that would feel like. Does she have that potential too, now? Is this what being a _paladin of Voltron_ means?

"What is that?" Hunk asks from behind her and they all turn to look. There is a building, far out in the open, and from where they are it looks like it's falling apart.

Keith looks around, probably trying to understand where they are, and then he nods "It's an old factory. Once this zone was full of minerals, but it dried out."

"So it's abandoned?" Shiro wonders, looking around, and when Keith nods, Shiro signals everyone. "We'll stop here. We need a place to focus and figure out this... Voltron."

"It would be better to fly towards the Southern Air Temple," Coran tells them. "The spiritual significance of the place would..." but Pidge shakes her head.

"No!" Her voice is loud, but she doesn't care. "We don't have all that time to waste. My family could be there!"

She feels, more than sees, Lance touching her arm to calm her down. She doesn't want to be calmed down; she struggles out of the touch and looks at all of them. "I'm here to save them. I came along on this crazy mission for that and you won't... you can't..." She doesn't know how to finish that thought, how to make them understand that it's important to her, it's the most important thing.

Even when she tries to remember, it's starting to be more and more difficult to picture their faces. Her father is blurry in her mind and the only reason she remembers her brother more clearly is because they have always been eerily similar. Without her long hair, they are almost the same.

She looks at Keith who, in all of this, is probably the only one that can really understand her. Pidge remembers the first night in the forest, when she had asked him how far he was willing to go, and she can see he's thinking about that, too. Keith hadn't stopped for anything to get Shiro back, and Pidge is exactly the same.

"We'll stop here. It's safe enough," Keith responds and Pidge nods, grateful.

Allura looks back at them, but then she tells Mousey to descend without adding anything. It makes Pidge relax a little and when Lance reaches out again to touch her shoulder hesitantly, she doesn't reject him. Hunk smiles and joins in, too, hugging both her and Lance.

"Did you see what Allura did?" he asks, and he's smiling, obviously trying to make her feel better. "We'll save your family easily."

"Yeah!" Lance agrees with his own smile. "We have Voltron. Or we will have Voltron! The Fire Empire scum will regret ever crossing our path."

Pidge almost smiles, a little bit relieved not to be alone, and she looks around at Allura and Coran, talking, and at Keith and Shiro, who are just sitting close, shoulders touching. Shiro is looking around, probably checking to be sure they really are alone, but Keith is looking straight at her.

It's here that she realizes, for the first time, that she really doesn't have to do this alone. It's a strange thought after years of planning and hiding her identity and making sure she never got attached to anyone.

She closes her eyes and tries to breathe. They will do this, they will get her family back and then... then she doesn't know, but the future doesn't seem that scary anymore.

It's almost enough to make her smile.

Coran is setting up camp alone, while they are seated in a circle, facing each other.

"How did you use the blessing?" Shiro is asking Allura, and they are all wondering, exactly, how they should start with this _forming Voltron_ business.

No one has been helpful in that, telling them that they would know when the time was right, but they don't really know anything and it doesn't even feel like they are getting closer.

"I don't really know? One moment I was thinking about what a stupid thing I had done, and that I... I needed to make it right, and the next..." She makes a little whirlwind in her palm as a demonstration. It doesn't really help that much and Pidge frowns.

"If what brought it on is making stupid decisions, then I'm surprised Lance wasn't the first one to activate it," Keith says, with a little smirk, but it isn't mean. It's not one of the insults the two have launched at each other during the trip. It almost feels like a peace offering after the last week.

Lance arches his eyebrow and then points at Keith with a grin. "Who exactly tried to jump into freezing waters here?"

"Well, I..." But before this can escalate, Shiro stops them.

"I don't think that was it," he explains. "Maybe it was the responsibility. The knowledge that you had to do something to put a stop to it."

"Or maybe it was the weather!" Lance exclaims, a little hurt over the interrupted bickering. "It's useless, we can't really go with guessing."

"We don't really have anything else," Hunk objects, looking at Allura. "She's the only one of us that has done anything with it. What else do we have?"

No one says anything for a second before Allura nods and extends her hands. "So we meditate."

"What?" Pidge asks, and she can see the way Keith is moving, a little uncomfortably. "Why? I don't like meditating; it's not..."

"I agree with Allura," Shiro says, and, yeah, Pidge remembers it was his idea. "The Air element is deeply connected to one’s spiritual side, maybe it could be a way for us to better understand..."

"This sounds sooo boring," she says, because meditating is something she had scarcely tried in her life, and always with little to no results.

"It's not!" Allura counters immediately. "It helps you achieve a deep peace with yourself and a connection with what it's around you. It's incredible, really."

Keith is glaring so hard; it’s almost funny to see she's not the only one having a terrible time. Lance looks serene at the idea, but water has always been the other element connected to spirits and meditating. Earth and Fire are more physical and practical and she doesn't think that _meditating_ is going to help them kick ass.

"Pidge." Hunk's the one that calls her, tries to smile encouragingly. "What have we got to lose?"

She looks at him and his outstretched hand, and she thinks about her family. What _does_ she have to lose?

Pidge sits down and she takes Hunk's hand, taking Lance's a moment later. Soon they are all joined, Shiro in between Lance and Keith and Allura holding Keith and Hunk's hands.

"Close you eyes," Allura instructs them. "Try to even your breaths, focus on your heart and slow down your breathing to match its beating. Your entire being has to be in synch before we can be in synch with each other."

Pidge tries, she really does, but every time she feels like she's close, something catches her attention. She thinks about the tech the firebenders are using, about how old this factory really is, how far away they are from the facility...

"Pidge," she hears at one point and when she opens her eyes, Allura is looking at her. Everyone else has their eyes closed. "You're out of synch. You're the only one out of synch."

"I told you meditating wasn't for me," she tries, a little sheepish. "I can't just... shut off my brain."

She doesn't know how to else describe the buzz in her head, the way her thoughts move as fast as lighting. She looks at her feet and just glowers. "Maybe you can do it without me."

"Don't be stupid," Lance says, putting their joined hands on Pidge's knee. "We do this together. We're paladins, remember?" He's smiling and beside her she feels Hunk hold her hand a little tighter.

She looks around and nods. "Okay. I... I can try again."

Everyone nods and closes their eyes, and Pidge does the same. She tries like Allura said, but she can feel her mind slip, she can't empty her thoughts, but...

Pidge decides to change tactics. She focuses on Lance's hand, clean and smooth. He probably uses healbending to make them stay like this. She focuses on Hunk's hand, a lot bigger than hers, but used more to make people happy than to hurt them.

She tries to focus on everyone else, what she thinks of them, how they have helped her, how she has felt more like herself since meeting up with this band of crazy people.

Pidge doesn't empty her mind she fills it with them, with these people that mean so much to her now, even if they haven't been together all that much.

They all feel the moment they all synch. It's like a jolt passing through them, and they all feel it. It's not like they become one, but she feels like she can understand them a lot better now.

Keith's fiery determination and crushing loneliness, Lance's deep insecurities and boundless optimism, Hunk's paralyzing terror and unyielding loyalty, Shiro's crushing responsibilities and fierce independence, Allura's fears of failing expectation and her inner strength.

It feels like she has known them all along, but like she is discovering them anew.

"Is this what it's supposed to be like?" Lance asks, a little out of breath and she understands why. It's incredible and scary at the same time.

"Does someone have any idea how to use this to form Voltron?" Hunk asks then and it's like, for a second, the connection falters.

"Don't think about that," Shiro instructs them. "Before forming Voltron we need to be one. We need to make our differences fit together."

It's like a balm passes through them, calming and encouraging, and she realizes it’s Shiro's presence, trying to make them feel better. She almost laughs.

They don't talk anymore, just focus more on each other, on what they are feelings, on what connects them together. She smiles the moment she feels it.

It's like when she ends, everyone else begins. They are one and the same, and different at the same time.

"Now. Now we form Voltron," Allura says, and this time the connection doesn't even flicker, too strongly rooted inside of them. It feels like it's a part of her now, this bond she has with these people.

And the moment Allura says it there are flashes in their minds, flashes of the paladins of old, flashes of how they created Voltron, how he had looked. Flashes of how they had fought the enemy spirit, with determination.

They all open their eyes and what they need to do becomes evident immediately. It's like a flash of understanding.

Pidge looks around and she sees the same look on everyone's faces.

"Can I just suggest a change in design?" Lance asks, with a little smirk. "Because I get they were desperate. But we can have a little more style."

And Pidge just laughs. She doesn't know if it's relief, if the fact that she can finally see a way out of this war is what made that so funny, but she can't stop.

 

 

 

When Hunk was little and his family was still with him, he had never thought he would do something important with his life. The knowledge had never really bothered him that much; not all people are supposed to be heroes, and he had heard what happened to heroes.

He had wanted to be a normal person, like his family, make bread for everyone in the city.

Then his family had been taken by the firebenders and he hadn't changed his mind exactly. He had just realized that keeping your head down isn't really always the best thing you can do.

What little Hunk had probably never imagined was being a part of something so incredible.

He looks at his hands and then at the people around him and he thinks about what they have just seen. The flash of Voltron, the fight, the power.

He doesn't feel like he has that much power inside of him, but he remembers Allura and, most of all, he remembers the way that he had felt while watching the first “paladins" fight.

"What I was thinking is to keep the idea," Lance is saying, nodding, "so the Lion's heads as arms and legs, that's okay, but a little less rustic."

Pidge smirks at the idea and she makes the metal of the old factory rattle. "We do have something they didn't have."

Lance nods and smiles. "Exactly!"

"I don't think we should focus on that..." Keith tries, but it's half-assed at best and even Shiro is smiling, entertained.

Hunk knows first-hand how much Lance's enthusiasm can be contagious and this time... this time it feels right. Doing something big, doing something that sets them apart. They have to give it their little spin, modify it to fit them, because Voltron is just an extension of them.

"We should also make it bigger," Hunk says with a confident smile, "and not only because it would be easier to hide behind it, but also because..." He doesn't know how to explain it, it would seem right. The first Voltron only had to fight a spirit. This one needs to save the whole planet.

"I like how you think, Hunk!" Lance tells him, immediately accepting his idea. "Bigger and flashier."

"Can we just form it before we think about changing it?" Allura interrupts them, looking around. "We aren't even sure if we can actually make it."

Lance and Pidge pout a little, unhappy to have been stopped into their fantasies, but it's not an unreasonable request.

"Do we have to link again?" Hunk wonders, looking around. He can still feel them inside him, even if they aren't meditating anymore, and it feels like it would be easy to just take the connection and push it forward.

"I think we don't really need to meditate to connect again," Shiro says, and it's just what Hunk had been thinking.

So they take a second and then it's like they are meditating again; he feels them inside him. Feels their powers at the edge of his.

He moves on his own and he realizes that Pidge and Shiro have done the same. They start Bending, rocks and ground surging up and forming, little by little. They don't talk about what they are building, but Shiro builds the base with the earthbending, Pidge molds the metal, putting it on top of the rocks and Hunk uses his lava to weld them all together. They create the skeleton and immediately when they finish Allura and Lance start to Bend.

The wind flutters around the construct, forms circles around it; the water that Lance is Bending turns yellow almost starts to glow and they feel the tug of spiritual energy they bring. It fuses with Voltron, becomes almost a part of it, and it's almost done.

Keith moves last and ignites the flame of life in the construct, a fire core to make him move, fight. They move him. He responds to every one of their commands. He's made up of rocks and metal and around him there's a yellow glow, a light that makes him almost ethereal.

His arms and legs take the form of the heads of the four Lionturtles, but they leave Voltron’s actual head as the one they saw in the memory, almost as a tribute to those who had come before them.

When they are done, he moves almost effortlessly, getting on one knee to let them get onto his hand, and then his shoulders.

Pidge creates stairs on the metal, that smooth down once they pass, and they reach the top of the shoulder. Shiro opens a passage at the neck and they enter the construct's head. They can see everything from Voltron's eyes, and it feels almost like they are a part of it.

"I think we are ready," Shiro says, and Voltron starts to move. It’s strange, they had been tired before, after a hike and a fight, but he doesn’t feel anything now. All his exhaustion is washed away.

"Should we tell Coran we're moving?" Allura asks, but they all know that they can't stop now. They can feel the earth beneath their feet with every step they take and they sense where the facility is, how many people are there.

"We're going to do this first" Pidge growls, and her voice is deep with revenge, deep with hatred.

Hunk looks at her, and then around him, and nods. This is what he was supposed to be doing all along.

 

They reach the facility soon, and he can see that there are some firebenders ready to stop them. They send fire their way, trying to stop Voltron, but they look more like ants in front of them. Keith blocks their hits easily, he was already stronger than them before, and now it almost feels like they aren't in the same league.

It's strange, they control Voltron with a part of their mind, but they are still able to use their Bending to manipulate everything around them. Allura makes the wind flow stronger in front of them, and it's enough to send the firebenders flying around.

"We are awesome!" Lance tells them, with a little bit of a manic smile. They do feel awesome, they feel like nothing can really stop them now.

Even the hits that their enemies manage to land on them do nothing. "We can win this," Hunk thinks, a little giddy.

He sees Shiro push his fist forward and Voltron punches the earth, Bending it enough to cause a ripple that hits every firebender around them.

"Yeah, we can," Keith says as well, while he pushes both of his arm forward and rotates them in a circular motion to stop the attack three firebenders had sent their way from the wall of the facility.

Everything seems to be going well when they feel something shift and, out of the blue, they are hit by a gust of wind strong enough to make them take a step back. It's the first real hit they've taken and Hunk struggles to breathe.

It hurts, it hurts them all. It's like every hit Voltron takes is hitting them instead. "Oh shit," Pidge says, but Hunk looks up and he sees another hit coming their way. He raises his arm and Voltron follows suit, blocking the worst of the attack.

"So you did it," they hear and it's surprising that anything reaches them, given how high they are, but a second later they see a person, riding a whirlwind to put herself in front of Voltron's face.

"Haggar," Shiro says, and he's a little breathless, but no one knows if it's from the fight or from seeing the person who had tortured him for so long.

"You're too late," she says, and it's like her eyes are devoid of emotions, like she can't feel anything at all. It's a terrible look; it makes her look dead. "The plan is already complete. And you little toy can't stop us."

"She's... she's an airbender," Allura says, looking at her with something akin to wonder in her voice. Hunk doesn't want to point out the obvious, because he understands it's a heavy discovery, that you're not really the last airbender in the planet, but at the same time this chick seems to be fucking crazy.

Keith doesn’t seem to have his restraint, believing that one should be always honest, damn the consequences. "Yeah, and she's fucking crazy."

"Well, that was tactful," Lance mumbles under his breath, but Keith is right in pointing out that they don't have the time to just ask Haggar her life story. Even Allura nods, focusing once again.

Pidge moves and soon some cords are flying towards Haggar, created by the metal of the arms. "If we can stop her, we can hit her," she tells them and they all nod. Haggar avoids the cords and sends another gust of wind their way.

Allura intercepts them, while Keith sends a flaming wave her way. She raises up, avoiding that hit too, and she's good. It's obvious she's miles ahead of every other Bender they have faced until now.

She smiles and hits them back, sending a blade made of wind that cuts through some of the rock of Voltron’s shoulder and the pain rips through them. Haggar ascends even more into the air and tries to make them topple with one of the strongest winds Hunk has ever seen.

Hunk wonders, for a second, if everything they have done until now will be useless, if they will be defeated by Haggar, not even Zarkon, when Shiro shakes his head.

"I didn't surrender when she was torturing me," he says, and he looks deadly and strong. "I will not surrender now."

With that, they are all more focused, more aware, and Lance opens his flask, using the last bit of water he has. "I can keep us healed. You guys fight"

Hunk feels the power rise inside of him and they are all moving at the same time. Pidge uses the cords again to try and catch Haggar; Allura manipulates the air to make the other airbender's escape impossible; Shiro lengthens Voltron's arms; Keith sends another blast of fire towards her to force Haggar to shift left; and then Hunk moves the other arm of Voltron to hit her in midair.

They make it, Hunk swats her much like he would a fly. Shiro catches her with the other hand and Pidge makes sure she's secure and unable to move.

It's surreal to look back at the base and realize that they have won. There are firebenders escaping, and they almost try to stop them, but there is no need. They'll move to the capital soon enough.

Voltron kneels, and they go out of the head and onto the ground, where Voltron has left Haggar, still bound by Pidge's metal ropes.

"I need to go and find my brother," Pidge says, looking back. Hunk looks at Haggar and nods.

"You shouldn't go alone, there might be other guards..." Shiro says, but it's obvious he doesn't want to go back. He can't really blame him; it might have a different structure, but it's still a firebending prison.

"I'll go with her," Lance says, and Hunk nods as well, even if he doesn't know what he could do to help since the prison is probably made of platinum like the last one.

They look back at Allura, Keith and Shiro, but no one even tries to move. They look at each other and nod, leaving them to it.

 

 

 

Pidge is running a little faster than she probably should, she knows that, but the only thing she can think about is that maybe this is the time. Maybe she has finally found the place where her family had been taken.

She doesn't care if other firebenders are in the way, she is a _paladin of Voltron._ She has just raided this entire facility like it was nothing, she can take them.

"Pidge, slow down," she hears Lance say but she can't.

They take a wrong turn at times and she's forced to go back and start again, but soon they find themselves into a room similar to the one that led to the prison Shiro was is. She's tired, panting, but she doesn't care.

"Do you think this is it?" Hunk wonders, but she doesn't even answer, pushing forward. The corridor is shorter than the one they had gone through before, but still made of platinum. It feels strange, after all the power she had outside, feeling disconnected from everything, but it doesn't matter.

When they reach the other side, they find themselves in the prison and it looks exactly the same as the one where they had found Shiro. "They don't really know how to decorate, do they?" she hears Lance ask, but she's too focused on looking around, trying to see anything.

"Matt?" she asks, and her voice trembles. She feels weak, and it's not the running. "Dad?"

No one answers at first. She sees the prisoners looking out from their cells, intrigued, but there aren't any familiar faces around. She doesn't recognize anyone.

She feels her shoulders sag, disappointed. She had been stupid, hadn't she? There is no real confirmation that they are even alive. Maybe they are already dead.

Sendak had said that a lot had died during their experiments and maybe her family had been a causality. It hurts to think that, but it's a possibility.

"Katie?" someone whispers, unbelieving, and she looks up so fast she almost falls. She can see Matt, behind one of the cell doors in the far back. He looks thin, he looks pale, he looks happy and alive.

She starts crying before she can stop herself and she doesn't care. She doesn't care if she appears weak in front of the others. They can probably feel her happiness thanks to the bond that still shimmers inside of her. Pidge doesn't care.

She moves forward, runs towards the end of the room and takes Matt's hands, where they are sticking through the bars. Up close he looks even worse that he did from the other end of the room, but it also hits her that this is real, that he is alive.

"How are you here?" Matt's voice is hoarse, different from what she remembers, but it's a perfect sound right now.

"I'm here to bust your sorry ass out," she tells him, smiling between the tears. "We... we conquered the base. You're free."

"You... what?" someone says from behind her, but she doesn't even turn and she can hear Lance replying anyway ( _Yeah, we're kind of awesome, my name is Lance and who are_ you _?_ ).

"Is dad here?" she asks Matt and he looks sad for a moment before shaking his head.

"I don't know where he is, he isn't here, but..."

She nods. The probability of finding them both in the same place had been abysmal. This is enough.

"It's all right, you're safe and we can go find him after," she says, with a smile. "We just need to get you out of here and..." She stops, looks back at Lance. "How are we getting them out of here?"

Everyone stops, and she sees Hunk and Lance realizing the mistake they have just made.

"Uhm. Are you sure the blessing doesn't give you the ability to bend platinum?" Lance tries, but he knows it's not how it works.

"There is a key in the laboratory area. Uhm they always..." Matt starts but Hunk nods and mumbles _Okay, going and picking that up_ before he can finish.

"How did you defeat Haggar? She's..." Matt seems still incredulous and she smiles, triumphant. She wonders what they'll say when they go outside and see Voltron. She hopes they'll freak out at least a little.

"You can say we have a sweet ride," Lance says, with a cocky smile and Matt looks at him, lost.

"You stole a Mobile from the firebenders?" And it's the first thing someone would think, isn't it?

She and Lance look at each other and leave it at that.

"Okay!" Hunk says, coming back. "I might have puked a little. And I'm so glad Keith went alone to save Shiro. But I have the keys!"

"Shiro?" Matt picks up the name and looks back at her, surprised, and she laughs, shaking her head.

"I have a lot to tell you, believe me." And then they're opening all the cells and making sure everyone is fit to walk on their own. There is a lot of hallways before they get outside, and this time they do it slowly, walking alongside the prisoners. Pidge is plastered to her brother's side, helping him stay upright.

When they emerge, she can see him almost fall down before he asks, a little out of breath, "What the fuck is that?"

It's the first time she has seen Voltron in all its glory. When they had formed it, instincts had played a big part in the process and she doesn't even remember some of what she did.

She can see the Air Lionturtle and the Fire Lionturtle (who she had never seen except in Keith's brain) as the arms and the Ground and Water Lionturtles as the legs. The head is a Lionturtle bigger than the others, sadder too, in a way.

The spiritual glow she remembers is gone, as well as the fire core, probably because they aren't using it right now. It still looks incredible and she still can't believe she was inside that not much time ago.

"That's the sweet ride," Lance tells him proudly and Pidge shares a smile with him. They did it, they have created Voltron, saved her brother and it finally feels like this might be over soon, like maybe they can really put an end to this.

Just when she feels almost relieved, like she might just crash for a few hours, exhaustion getting the better of her, she hears Hunk go, "Uh oh," and she grimaces.

She looks up, following his gaze, and she almost wants to say _Uh oh_ too.

Allura and Keith are almost screaming at Haggar while Shiro watches from a little behind them, clearly uncomfortable.

"Why did we think that leaving Keith in protective mode and Allura together to interrogate her was a good idea?" Lance asks and, put like that, it's a valid question.

"I had hoped Shiro would keep them in check," Hunk says, but looking at Shiro, it looks like he's already trying to keep himself in check and anyone else might be too much right now.

They have to remember sometimes that for how put together Shiro acts, he's a mess inside. She lets go of Matt and looks at all the other prisoners. They are looking around, enjoying being free, and she smiles at her brother. "We need to manage the situation. Is it okay if..."

"Katie," Matt tells her, looking around. "I'm going to have a field trip touching grass after years. Go."

She smiles at her brother and nods at Lance and Hunk. When they reach the group they can finally hear what Allura and Keith are screaming about.

"You had a duty to your people! Our culture! Our traditions! And you side with Zarkon??" This is Allura obviously.

"You will tell us what your plan is, and you will tell us now or I will..." And Keith, who's pushing a flaming fist near Haggar's face.

None of their tactics seems to have any kind of effect.

"Okay, why don't we calm down?" Lance suggests, getting closer to Keith and trying to make him take a step back. Keith just glowers at him and refuses to move.

Allura seems offended by that as well and little gusts of wind seems to move around her. "She betrayed her own people! She might not have killed us but when she knew she was an airbender she should have..."

But then Haggar laughs, and laughs. "You're so naive. Your father's little girl, for sure."

It stops everyone, because no one should know about Allura's real identity and yet Haggar had said it so confidently.

"You... how...?" Allura babbles, surprised, and Haggar is smiling, menacingly.

"Zarkon is not the only one who's using the quintessence to remain alive," she informs them and they hadn't put the pieces together, hadn't realized that the quintessence was what made possible for Zarkon to still be alive, but it made sense, in a way. Spiritual energy to keep the body and mind young; after all spirits don't age.

"You... you are from my time? You helped him destroy us all?" Allura’s voice is shocked and pained. Pidge can see her shaking like a leaf. Shiro puts his hand on Allura's arm and she tries to regain some composure. "Why?"

"Because we deserved better than an Avatar like your father" Haggar says, looking angry. "We don't need balance, we need to use the spirits to our advantage. Your father didn't deserve to be Avatar. So we searched for a way, we tried to get a Lionturtle to teach us the energybending, but not one of those animals did."

 _Energybending_? She has never heard of it, but she remembers that Slav had told them that Zarkon had gone and hunted down all the Lionturtles he could find. Now they know why.

"And when they didn't, we discovered another way. The quintessence, it gives power over one’s connection to the elements. It took us a hundred years, but finally we have a way to make a new Avatar. Someone more deserving." No one talks for a second, too shocked and needing to process.

Shiro breaks the silence. "This is what you were experimenting on? A way to create another Avatar?"

Haggas smiles but there is nothing human left in her expression. "And we _did it_. Our Emperor Zarkon has now control over all the elements. He has everything that made your father the Avatar, but he's stronger than he ever was. He's the true Avatar we deserve!"

"You're out of your mind" Keith spits, pushing back and shaking his head. "You filled our heads with all these promises of peace under one single banner. But you're all just crazy."

"You, my little soldier," Haggar replies, with almost a sweet smile, "went along with it."

She can see the way those words hurt Keith, how he almost looks like she has punched him in the face. Shiro must see it, too, because he leaves Allura's side to reach Keith's.

Haggar focuses on Shiro immediately and she looks almost wistful. "I had so many plans for you, the rebel champion. I had hoped I could make you a weapon, a prototype. You were stolen from me too soon."

It's eerie how she talks and the way she almost sounds regretful. There is nothing they can do for her.

Before Keith can do anything (probably burn her to a crisp) Pidge bends the metal around her to encase her in it, blocking her completely from view.

The silence that follows is filled with terror and tension.

"Another Avatar..." Allura's voice is low, almost afraid to utter those words. They all look at her and it's like the heaviness of what has been revealed hits them.

"Allura..." Lance starts, but she stops him, shakes her head.

"No I... I can't do this," she says. Her voice is still shaky, almost afraid, but it's obvious she's trying to pull herself together and they leave her the time and the space. They watch while she builds some sort of wall to protect herself. "We have a fight to win. We have to defeat Zarkon, I can't..."

She doesn't continue, but they all know what she means and Pidge nods, understanding. She looks back at her brother, at all the other people they have just saved, and it might not be enough, but it's a win.

They did this, they saved these prisoners, and it something they should be proud of.

"We'll rest today. Make sure everyone is looked after and tomorrow..." Shiro looks up, and then he looks east, over the mountain. "We do this."

No one says anything; they all just nod. It feels like they might not be ready, but they have to be. They don't have another chance.

 

 

 

Coran catches up with them not long after, riding Mousey. He tells them he saw Voltron moving and followed them from behind. He spends at least ten consecutive minutes gushing about the fight, what they had done, and everything else.

Shiro doesn't really listen to him.

He talks with Matt, happy to be reunited, and then he makes sure everyone else is okay. He's tired; they have had too many fights, too much has happened, and he could sleep for an entire week. He can't—tomorrow will be too important—but he's tired.

He can see Lance and Hunk asleep on the sidelines, Pidge spooned against her brother, Allura against Mousey. They are all exhausted and trying to recover their strength for the next day.

Shiro looks around and he can't see Keith anywhere. Keith had been strange after the talk with Haggar and Shiro understands. It had been disturbing for him too, but at the same time he had hoped that maybe they could have hugged in front of the fire, enjoy a moment of peace.

He gets up and goes in search of him, hoping to find him near the camp. Thankfully he doesn't even have to walk that much, since Keith is just seated against a tree close to where the others are. From here he has a clear view of the mountain behind which the capital lies. He looks troubled and Shiro readies himself before sitting beside him.

"Everyone else is having a great time," he tries with a smile, "and I wanted to maybe cuddle a little in front of the fire but..."

"Cuddle. Really, Shiro?" Keith asks, but he almost smiles and Shiro takes the wins where he can.

"One can dream," he replies easily, before looking at the mountain as well. He can't say the events of the day haven't left him a little shocked. At the same time, he just wants to put everything behind them and pretend for a night that everything is normal.

"What Haggar said," Keith starts and Shiro braces himself, because he knows this won't be a good conversation. "She was right. I did follow orders. I never rebelled until you."

"You were just trying to survive." Shiro knows how heavily this sits on Keith's shoulders. It's what had been hanging between them all this time, but he had hoped they had started to overcome this.

"No, I... I knew it was wrong, but I was an orphan, I didn't have anyone and I... I just didn't want to be alone." It's almost a whisper, like he's ashamed of himself. Shiro sighs and decides that this is enough. He extends his arm and puts it around Keith's shoulders, pulling the other to his chest.

Maybe a hug won't be enough to make it all better, but he doesn't think it can hurt. "You're not alone," he assures him, because whatever else might happen he knows at this point that the strange group they have formed will not disband easily. They will die together or live together for the rest of their life.

"I know," Keith say, surprising him. "It's thanks to you."

"I think you're giving me too much credit. I only got myself imprisoned and tortured." Shiro tries, but his joke falls flat. It probably wasn't that funny.

"I'm sorry, you know, that the best thing that ever happened to me was the worst thing that ever happened to you," Keith says into his chest. Shiro holds him tighter and closes his eyes.

"It's not something I would repeat, but I think it turned out okay." And it did, because the agony and the torture is still terribly clear in his mind, but Keith... Keith had make it bearable.

"You're a sap, Shiro," Keith says, but he is smiling a little now and Shiro would do crazy things to keep that smile.

"After this is over," he says, looking at the sky, "I know that we'll have to... rebuild. There are so many things we have to do but I... sometimes I wish we could just go somewhere, the two of us, and just do nothing for the rest of our lives."

Keith doesn't say anything for a moment, like he’s thinking about it, and then he says with a scoff, "You would be bored the second day."

Shiro laughs, because it's probably true. "Those would be two incredible days."

They stay in silence for a moment more before Keith confesses, "I don't care what we do. I just.. I want to be with you."

It's the truth, Shiro knows it is, but there's also something more. "But you have something in mind," he says, trying to make Keith say what he's thinking.

"Maybe," the other confirms, but he sounds hesitant. "It's only an idea. You don't have to do it if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Keith..." he says, a little impatient, and the other nods.

"I think we should stay in the Fire Empire... help rebuild. If we succeed tomorrow the entire nation will have lost its leader and..." Keith stops, but Shiro can fill in the blanks.

"It would be chaos." He realizes how much of an imbalance it would leave in the wake of such a totalitarian government.

"There are some rebels, there were rumors going around. I think we could reach them, see if any of them would be interested in taking the lead..." Keith looks uncertain. "But I don't know if I'm the right person to..."

"Keith," Shiro stops him immediately. "You're the perfect person. You're capable of so much. I believe in you." He tries to put all of his feelings into it, make sure that Keith knows he means it, that he really feels like, if only he wanted, Keith could do anything.

He doesn't know if he succeeds, but Keith pushes back a little, enough to look him in the eyes and then he moves forward, kissing him deeply. It's only their third kiss, but it feels like something they have done a thousand times. Keith's mouth is familiar, safe, and it makes him remember why they are doing all this, what he has to lose.

He started fighting for everyone else, but it's the first time he feels like he has something of his own to protect. It makes him feel weak, fragile, but also the strongest he's ever been.

They kiss for a long time, enough that the presence of the people at camp almost starts to become an inconvenience more than anything else, but then Keith interrupts it and smirks.

"We have to leave something for tomorrow, after we win," he says, with a glint in his eyes that's enough to make Shiro incredibly aroused.

It feels almost unfair, but he knows that it wouldn't be right, not with threat still looming over them and the knowledge that maybe they won't be alive the day after tomorrow.

"After we win," Shiro confirms, raising his hand and passing it through Keith's hair. They are a mess, both of them, and he doesn't even want to think about what Lance would say to them if they returned now.

"I'm comfortable here. If it becomes too cold I can make you warmer," Keith tells him, lowering himself again on Shiro's chest. Shiro smiles and looks back at the camp.

"Yeah, I'm comfortable too," he says and he closes his eyes, enjoying the moment.

 

The next day comes too soon. The prisoners are arguing, saying they can help fight in the city, but they are tired and Lance couldn't heal them. Coran and Allura are trying to make them reconsider, but they aren't changing their minds.

"We can arrive in the city in one day, thanks to Voltron," Pidge says, looking at them, "but I don't think we can also bring them with us."

Shiro looks at them and grimaces, nodding. "There’s too many of them. We have to go as fast as possible."

"Does it really matter at this point?" Matt asks, from where he's looking at them. "Zarkon knows you're coming. A day or two isn't going to change much."

He's not entirely wrong, but he can sense the others. He knows they're impatient, yes, but also tired and exhausted. The need to finish this, to be finally free, is their stronger motivator right now. They're operating on a mix of adrenaline and frustration and they can't stop now.

"No," Pidge says, shaking her head. "Sorry, Matt. We do this today."

"We don't need them anyway. I know they want to fight but... you saw what the firebenders did to us. Or maybe you didn’t, but we kicked their ass. We couldn't even feel their attacks," Lance says, looking around. "We do this alone. No one else needs to get hurt."

Hunk nods as well. "As... as much as I'm afraid of Zarkon, I agree. There is no need for people to put themselves in danger, too. We... we'll have to do this on our own."

Everyone nods as well, and they are all in agreement. It's obvious Matt isn't happy, wants his sister safe, but this is bigger than him. Bigger than anything else.

He thinks for a moment and then tries to make sure everyone can hear him. "I want to say thank you to everyone. When Haggar was experimenting on me I thought, for sure, that would be the end. I would have never seen the outside world again. But these people saved me," and he looks at Keith for a moment, tries to make him understand how much he loves him and how grateful he is. "And here I am. I understand why you want to fight, I understand that you want to take your revenge, but today is not the day. Tomorrow there will be a world to rebuild. Cities to reconquer, prisoners to free. Let us do the heavy work today, and trust you with the fate of the rest of the world."

No one talks for a second, as if they are shocked, and he hopes he hasn't fucked this up. It takes a moment for people to start nodding along, agreeing with him, and he smiles a little.

He feels Keith's hand on his shoulder, a little proud; Allura’s stare heavy with something he doesn’t understand but also happy, relieved and the smiles from his comrades, too. Not being alone is a comforting thought after being imprisoned for so long.

"And we, Paladins of Voltron, we have faced so much in so little time, grown so much. We are exhausted, I know we are, but we just need to push a little bit farther, make one last effort. Tomorrow we'll rest, today we face our enemy and we'll do it together."

"Aw man, that was..." Hunk says and then he hugs him, tight. Shiro is surprised for a second, but then he sees everyone else comes forward, too, and soon they are all hugging. A way to feel closer, but also to remember what they are doing, why they are doing it, and that they are in this together.

It feels so different and he can't believe that not that long ago he had almost given up, on that operating table in the prison. If he looks back he's glad he's here now, he's glad he resisted enough to get out.

"We're the Paladins of Voltron," he says, smiling, "and we can do this. Form Voltron!"

 

 

 

“You know, it was a great speech,” Lance says as they walk towards the city. They are in Voltron, but it doesn’t feel as draining as before, not like when they were in fight mode.

“Thank you, Lance,” Shiro replies, but he doesn’t sound thankful at all. Which, rude.

“No, really, A+, congrats,” he repeats, because it had been a good speech, inspiring really, and a little sappy. Perfect. “But what exactly is the plan here?”

No one answers for a second before Keith shrugs. “We arrive there and we kill him.”

“Yeaaah,” Lance nods, twice. “Yep I got that, but… how?”

Hunk looks at him and then at the others. “I’m with Lance on this. It doesn’t seem a great idea to just… improvise.”

"What other choice have we?" Allura asks, looking at them. "we don't know the place and we can't scout it. Every day we wait, Zarkon gets a little stronger... we can't keep waiting."

"I know but..." Lance doesn't know how to explain it, isn't sure how to make them understand. He notices that Voltron has stopped moving, almost responding to his doubts. “I’m just saying I’m scared.”

No one talks and Lance fears he has ridiculed himself, he’s almost ready to say to just forget it, it’s clearly the best plan ever, when Hunk puts an arm on his shoulder. “You know me, I’m always scared. I think the only reason why I’m not puking is because of this strange connection.”

“And because if you puke here, I’m going to kill you,” Pidge tells Hunk with a serious frown, before looking back at Lance and smiling. “I think we’re all a little scared,” she confides and Shiro and Allura nod, confirming it. Keith looks at them and then just shrugs.

“I don’t fear anything,” he says, almost offended and it actually makes Lance laugh. Knowing that the others are as scared as he is doesn’t make it better, doesn’t make him _less scared_ , but it’s a comfort anyway.

Voltron starts moving again, and no one really understands how they are all giving him directions at the same time, but it doesn’t really matter.

“So, team Scared Together, ah?” he asks and it’s mostly to break the tension, but everyone nods, seriously.

“Scared shitless together,” Shiro confirms and it’s so strange hearing it from his mouth that everybody laughs.

They reach the city in under an hour, and it beats traveling on top of Mousey. They’re coming in from the west, so that they don’t have to pass through the city gates, and the streets to reach the castle. firebenders might be the enemy, but even Lance knows not everyone living in the capital is guilty.

“We don’t know how much resistance we’re going to get,” Shiro warns them, looking forward. “Be ready for anything.”

They nod and push forward. There are firebenders on the walls, ready to shoot fire streams at them, and Keith gets ready. When the attacks come, he blocks most of it, dispersing the flames. The attacks that manage to reach them don’t even hurt that much. Lance feels the pull of water near them, a little lake, and raises it. He doesn’t need to have good control to use it to push the soldier over the wall and he smiles.

“Good job, team,” Allura says, making sure Voltron vaults over the wall with little effort, “but let’s not lower our guard. We need to find Zarkon.”

“You don’t need to find me. I’ve come to welcome you myself,” someone says and they all look towards the roof of the castle, where a figure stands tall in red robes.

He doesn’t look like Lance had imagined an Emperor would look. He isn’t dressed with jewels and he isn’t fat; he looks like any other soldier they have faced until now. It scares him a little, that someone so evil can look so ordinary.

“Zarkon!” Keith growls and the Emperor almost smiles.

“I’ve been following your exploits. Once I dispose of you I’ll hunt down all those Lionturtles you were kind enough to find for me,” he tells them, and his voice sounds sure, but _wrong_. There is something in the way he looks, in the way he speaks that’s just a little off. He looks at them but his stare passes through them, like he’s not even really there.

“Why didn’t you stop us?” Pidge asks, curious more than anything. “If you knew what we were doing… why?”

“Because I couldn’t care less,” Zarkon answers her, almost bored. “You think you’re a threat to me? I’ve defeated an Avatar. You’re nothing to me. Insects that haven’t learned their places yet.”

There is no fear in his eyes, no doubt in himself. It almost pisses Lance off.

His entire life he has been looked down upon. All his life no one had really taken him seriously, and he had accepted it. Now, however. Now it’s another story.

“We’ll make you eat your own words!” he screams, and he feels everyone else get ready to fight. Zarkon only smiles, while his eyes flash purple.

“Okay, get ready, guys,” Shiro instructs them and in a moment the fight starts. Keith lashes out with a fire whip that Zarkon avoids, jumping to the side. He vaults over a rock thrown by Pidge and repels a gust of wind by Allura.

He’s smiling like nothing they’re doing is even fazing him. Lance splits the water from before into little projectiles and launches at him, hoping to catch him off guard with one. Zarkon just smiles and uses his fire breath to make them all evaporate.

“Nothing seems to work,” Hunk says, looking around frantically.

“No, we just need to work together,” Shiro reminds them and so they do. They use a similar strategy to the one they used against Haggar: Keith and Allura strike at the same time, to trap Zarkon between their attacks and force him to stay still. At the same time Hunk and Shiro are maneuvering the arms to try and crush him. Pidge will try and handcuff him with some metal, while Lance will try and distract him with his water pin missiles again.

For a moment it seems like it’s going to work. Zarkon is forced to stay put when Allura and Keith attack and, while he stops Lance’s attack, it leaves him open to the arms and the handcuffs. But then he just looks up, at the hand coming towards him and smiles.

Zarkon raises his hand and the moment he touches Voltron’s arm everyone starts to scream.

It’s the most painful thing Lance has ever experienced and he feels himself crumple to the ground, while Voltron falls to one knee. He looks up, tears in his eyes, and he sees Voltron’s arm crumble, little chunk of rocks falling down.

“No,” Lance whispers, but he can hear Zarkon’s laugh, and this pain feels real, so real it’s like it consumes his entire mind, preventing him from thinking clearly.

Zarkon doesn’t say anything and starts attacking back. He uses the winds to push them back, make them fall. They manage to balance themselves by putting their only hand on the ground. Everything hurts.

Zarkon hits them with a fire blast, a rock to the chest, and he uses the water to start freezing their legs in place. Lance can’t breathe.

He can feel chunks of their torso falling to the ground, he can feel the pain in his legs and Zarkon is just laughing. “See? This is what your rebellion has brought you. Kneeling in front of me like you should.”

Lance looks around and he can see Pidge on the floor, panting. Allura is trying to stay upright, but she’s sweating and she looks ready to fall over. Shiro has his hand over his stump, almost as if the arm he doesn’t have is hurting him. Keith is trying to get up, cursing under his breath.

Hunk is on his knees, almost an exact replica of how Voltron is positioned now.

Zarkon laughs and Lance closes his eyes, fear grappling his mind, his entire being. They are going to lose, all their sacrifices, all the things they have done have been for nothing. It feels like a punishment for having thought they could have been something more than what they were.

“No.” It’s Shiro’s voice that wakes them. The connection that had been dying, little by little, flares again with a strength that surprised them all. “We’re not surrendering. We’re going to win,” he says, and he looks up at the blast of fire Zarkon has just launched their way and it’s like he pushes them back, shielding them.

They don’t feel anything when the hit impacts on Voltron, but they can _see_ the effect it has on Shiro, the way he pants. He looks back at them, and he doesn’t look hurt, even if they know the hit had been strong.

“We don’t kneel for anyone. We’re the paladins of Voltron. Do we want to give up like this?” He isn’t screaming, but his voice is commanding and it doesn’t leave them any possibility of denying.

They get up, little by little and Shiro smiles, proud.

“I need to avenge my people,” Allura says and the wind picks up strength, almost at her command.

“I’m not just a soldier anymore,” Keith says, and the fire animating Voltron roars, stronger than ever.

“I have to protect my family. And that means you guys, too,” Pidge says with a smirk, and their lost arm starts to recreate itself.

“I’m not defined by my fears,” Hunk looks up and smiles at Lance while their left arm morphs, becoming boiling rock and lava.

Lance looks at them and nods. He hears the ice in their legs melt and answer his call. It rises, orbiting around Voltron. “I’m not useless. I deserve to be here.”

Zarkon looks at them for a second before blasting another fire attack, but Keith blocks it easily.

Shiro is a comforting presence behind them, a shield that’s covering them and _pushing_ them to be great. “This is our time.”

Pidge and Allura make Voltron move faster than ever, sending him forward with the wind and Keith screams while from Voltron’s mouth a stream of fire erupts towards Zarkon. The Emperor avoids it, but Hunk moves the arm covered in lava forward and Zarkon looks at it for a second, tries to push it away with wind, but there’s nothing to do and it closes on him, crushing him and burning him at the same time.

Zarkon screams and Lance focuses all the water around them to create a giant ice spear and aim it at Zarkon’s chest. It pierces him easily and Lance should feel bad that he has just killed someone, but all he can feels is happiness. And pain, so much pain.

They look back and they see Shiro falling. He feels the connection shut down quickly and Voltron crumbling on himself, almost as if he’s out of steam. They start to fall and, looking around, he sees that everyone is losing consciousness.

He tries to fight, but the exhaustion wins in the end.

Lance closes his eyes and lets go.

 

 

 

Keith wakes up and, for a second, he doesn’t understand what’s going on. There is something strange, heavy around his chest. He opens his eyes slowly, the light too harsh for him to actually open them in one go.

“Keith,” he hears beside him. He furrows his brow and looks to the side where Coran is watching him. He looks tired, ragged and worried.

“Coran?” he tries, but his voice is rusty and it comes out hoarse. He coughs to clear it, but the movement hurts. Still, he tries to push through and leave the bed. He doesn’t know why he does it and his muscles aren’t happy about it, but he feels like he has to.

“Oh no, stay down.” Coran tries to make him stay put, but it’s at that time that Keith realizes what is _wrong_. It’s strange because, all in all, they’ve had the connection for two days at best, but its absence is clear. He can’t feel the others.

He sits down quickly, so quickly he almost falls out of bed and his head is spinning.

The room he is in is big, spacious, and he can see now that he’s in a bed. Not the only one. It’s an infirmary, probably inside the castle, if the furniture is to be trusted.

He can see Matt, seated beside one of the beds. Coran is standing in front of his, looking worried. His friends are in the other beds, still except for their breathing. Why is Keith awake when they aren’t?

“You’ve been asleep for three days. After you defeated Zarkon, the rebels reclaimed the city. I believe they are called the Blade of Marmora? I don’t know, I haven’t… I’ve been at the Princess’ bedside. And yours, of course.” Keith registers only half of what Coran is saying. The room is too quiet, his head is too quiet, it’s strange.

“You should rest, my boy,” Coran tells him, trying to push him back down on the bed “your body needs rest.”

Keith pushes him away again. He doesn’t need rest, he needs to understand why the others aren’t awake yet. Coran seems to understand that there’s nothing he can do and lets him go, while looking back at Allura. “I’m… awfully worried too, but I’m sure they just need their rest. You… you really showed that Fire buffoon who was the boss.”

Normally Keith would try, maybe a laugh, but he can’t focus on Coran right now. He closes his eyes and focuses on his heartbeat, just like Allura showed them.

When he had first done it, he had focused on himself and, then, unable to resist, he had focused on Shiro’s heartbeat. He doesn’t have Shiro to center him now, so he just _tries_. He’s more motivated, he needs to see why he can’t feel them.

The moment he finally achieves some sort of meditative state he notices immediately; it’s like he’s floating in water. He remembers it from when they had connected for the first time, when the visions of the past had been shown to them.

He tries to reach _outside_ himself, tries to find the bond he knows exists. He thinks he’s not going to find anything for a moment, before he notices something brush his mind. The others’ presence is weak, because they are still weak, but it’s there. It’s an unimaginable relief.

Then he notices that one is missing.

Keith opens his eyes. Any sense of peace lost as quickly as it was gained, and he jumps out of the bed.

“What are you doing?” Coran almost yells, but he pushes past him.

He can’t find Shiro.

Keith remembers the last seconds of the battle, how Shiro had shielded them all in some way he couldn’t really understand. He had taken all the damage, but… but they had won in the end. Everything should be okay.

Shiro’s bed is the one next to his so it’s easy to reach it and Keith leans heavily on it, taking Shiro’s face between his hands. “Shiro?” he calls, almost scared. “Shiro, wake up.”

Shiro almost looks like he did when he had found him. He’s covered in bruises, cuts. He looks too still.

“Calm down, son,” Coran tries, putting a hand on his shoulder, but Keith flinches and pushes him away again.

“Everyone else is _fine,_ ” he tells him, tries to make him understand, “but Shiro isn’t here. Why isn’t he here?”

“What are you saying?” Matt asks, from the other side of the room, clearly confused. “You’re touching his face…”

He knows he’s being unfair. He doesn’t even know if they had time to explain how it worked. Do they even know about the bond that had made them able to pilot Voltron together? “Not here in this damn room,” he corrects them anyway, pointing then at his chest. “Here. He’s not… everyone else _is_. I can’t find him.” And then he doesn’t have any more time to waste on them.

Shiro hasn’t moved an inch, he looks as still as before, and Keith tries to stop himself from shaking him. Hard.

Keith can feel himself trembling and he’s not sure he can stop. Did something happen? When he had taken that blow for them, had it done something to him? They don’t know the dangers of fighting with Voltron, on having their spiritual connection so open and raw.

He hears someone calling his name, but he doesn’t care. He reaches down to take Shiro’s wrist and tightens his hold, focuses on Shiro’s pulse. It’s slow and steady, so different from the hectic pulse he had listened to the other night. Shiro had been alive then, his lips swollen with kisses. Keith doesn’t care what has happened, he will find Shiro. Just like he did last time.

He closes his eyes, evens his breathing, but this time it doesn’t come easily. It’s like there’s something stopping him, a wall he can’t pass. “Fuck you, Takashi,” he murmurs under his breath. “Let me in.”

In a second he feels himself fall. It’s much like before, but also different. There is no water around him, it’s not a morbid fall, it’s like he’s free-falling towards the ground with too much speed. It feels terrible.

When he opens his eyes it’s pitch black in front of him and he almost feels like he can’t breathe. There’s something wrong with him, something wrong about where he is… he doesn’t know… Why is he here?

“Focus, Child of the Fire,” he hears from behind him and he looks back, almost too afraid. There is a beast there, ten times bigger than him. It has the head of a lion and the body of a turtle. It’s black and purple and, on its back, where the shell is, Keith can see a mountain that resembles the one where the East Air Temple had been.

There’s something familiar about the creature, but he doesn’t know what it is.

“You’re getting lost, just like all the other souls,” the beast tells him, “but unlike the others you’re here to do something, are you not?”

Keith blinks twice and tries to remember. Is he? Is he here to do something? “Am I?”

The beast doesn’t say anything to that, and Keith looks around him, confused. Everything is still black, but it’s lighter now. He can see the shape of the beast perfectly.

It seems like his interlocutor decides to ignore his question and it just continues, almost as if he had never heard him. “This is the Astral Plane, a place where the souls of people who are lost can be found. Or will roam for all eternity.”

People who are lost? Keith doesn’t understand. Is he lost? He feels lost.

“I can’t give you any more help, Child of the Fire. My role on this earth ended a long time ago. I’ve tried, I’ve hoped someone would have come to form Voltron once again,” the beast says and that name… That name stirs something in Keith “I would have liked to guide the new generation, but at least Zarkon never managed to become an energybender as well.”

Zarkon. He remembers that too but it’s blurry. “I’m…” he tries, but it’s like he’s swimming in cotton. “I’m here for someone.”

The beast looks at him and nods. “This is the spirit world, Child of the Fire. Search and you will find.”

Keith looks up at the other’s face and there’s something, he has seen it before.

The realization hits him one second later and he recognizes the face of the last Lionturtle, the one they had left as a head, to honor the Voltron of before. Memories return to him all at once.

 _Shiro_.

“Where is Shiro?” he asks, almost screams.

The Lionturtle looks at him, serene “He’s lost. Like all the others.”

Keith shakes his head, looks around frantically, but the place is as dark as before and he can’t see anything else. Pitch black for miles, and Shiro is _lost_?

“You can bring me to him!” He’s angry, scared, and he remembers now why he doesn’t like talking with Lionturtles.

“I told you, my role is over,” the Lionturtle answers him, but Keith can’t accept that.

“Shiro doesn’t deserve this! Hasn’t he suffered enough? Tell me where I can find him!” He realizes he’s almost begging, but he doesn’t care. If this can save Shiro, he can beg. He can humiliate himself.

The Lionturtle doesn’t answer and Keith screams in frustration. “Fine! I’ll find him myself. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone!” it might be an exaggeration; he doesn’t know how to move in this strange place.

“You will lose yourself, too,” the Lionturtle warns him. Keith doesn’t know how to make it understand that he doesn’t care, that he would lose himself twenty times over, if only it meant saving Shiro.

He tries to move forward, but without success. He tries to move his arms as if he was swimming, but he doesn’t move an inch.

“This is a place where the souls of the lost come.” The beast speaks, its grave voice strangely gentle. “Not all souls want to be found. Not all of them _can_ be found.”

“I won’t give up on Shiro!” he screams, “and you better understand this, Takashi, I won’t stop. I will find you, you hear me? I will…”

He stops. There is something strange, pulling at his heart, at his entire being. It’s beckoning, asking him to follow him. “This is the Spirit World, Child,” the Lionturtle says from behind him, “and you never know what you’ll find in the Spirit World. Maybe not what you’re looking for, but what you need.”

He doesn’t understand what that means, but he follows whatever is calling him. He can’t stop. He falls again, but this time he’s ready.

 

When he feels his feet touch ground he opens his eyes, and he takes a step back. He recognizes the cells, the prison where he and Shiro had met. He looks around and he notices he’s inside the cell, alone.

“Shiro?” he calls, because maybe he’s here, but he seems to be alone. And then he feels someone walking toward the cell. He turns and freezes.

It’s him, in his Galra Corp uniform, and he almost doesn’t recognize himself. His eyes are hard, cold. He looks like an angry shell.

“You’re looking for a prisoner?” the other him asks and he looks almost bored, dead inside. Is this what he had looked like before Shiro?

“Where is Shiro?” he asks, gripping the bars of the cell. He doesn’t know what is going on, if this is some kind of test from this _Astral Plane,_ but he doesn’t have time for this.

“All the prisoners are dead,” the other him says, sounding like it didn’t even touch him. Like it didn’t matter.

Keith shakes his head and he knows it isn’t true, he had saved Shiro, he had. This is just… these are the damn spirits, messing with his mind.

“No, I saved him!” he says, trying to rattle the bars. “I saved him from this and I will save him _again._ ”

The other Keith raises one eyebrow in disbelief and then looks at him. “How can you save him when you’re stuck here?” he asks and Keith rages. He tries to burn the bars, but he can’t use his Bending.

He looks around, frantically, but there is no way to escape.

“You will never leave,” the other Keith says, “but you never left to begin with, did you? You never left this place in your heart. All the terrible things you’ve done. They are all dead because of you.”

“No!” he screams, panic clawing at his heart. “No one is dead. I… I just have...” He closes his eyes and tries to breathe. But isn’t he right? This version of him _is_ him, a part of him Shiro wants him to forgive, a part of him that haunts him every day.

He looks back at the cell, at this alter ego. He notices for the first time how much he has changed. He can’t help what he has done, he can’t help what he was, but he can be better.

“I’m sorry,” he says, instead. “I’m sorry you’re hurting so much.” Because he had been hurting then, every day, a dull ache that never went away. “But I need to let you go. I need to find Shiro.”

His alter ego twitches for the first time, and something like fear colors his expression. “You can’t leave. You can’t! There is no way.”

Keith shakes his head, and closes his eyes, focusing. The Spirit World helps you find what you need, and not only what you’re searching for, but now… now he needs Shiro. “I have to. I’m sorry.”

“No!” and then the other Keith sticks his hands into the cell, tries to grab him. “You can’t leave me alone!”

Keith opens his eyes, looks at this version of himself that is so scared to be abandoned, to never have a place in the world. He had been like this, it’s true, but it’s over now. And it’s thanks to Shiro.

“We’re not alone anymore,” he reassures him. “Shiro saved us. We need to repay the favor.”

And in a moment he’s gone. He doesn’t really get how this works but one moment he is in a cell and the next he’s standing in front of a battle.

It takes a minute to register but he sees Shiro, in the center of it all, being attacked repeatedly and he jumps. His Bending still isn’t back but he doesn’t care, he punches someone and then avoids another hit. He just needs to reach Shiro, make sure he’s all right. He pushes another body, but he looks up just in time to see someone’s fist connect to his face.

It doesn’t hurt, in fact he doesn’t even feel it. The hit goes through him and he looks surprised as he stops struggling. He gets hit more and more but nothing hurts.

He looks up and he sees Shiro, fighting for his life, scared.

“Shiro! Stop! They aren’t going to hurt you,” he says, and he starts running again, trying to reach the other, but every step he takes it’s like Shiro gets a little farther away. “Shiro! Stop fighting!”

“No!” Shiro’s voice is clear, even if the other is obviously exhausted. “I can’t stop. I can never stop. Don’t you get it? I have to keep fighting.”

Keith stops then, since he’s not getting closer to Shiro, and he realizes that all of these people are wearing firebender clothes and they don’t even have faces. Keith almost breaks.

“Takashi. Stop,” he says, he doesn’t scream, knows the other will hear him anyway. He hopes that using his name will be enough, that maybe it will shock Shiro out of this nightmare. It makes it worse.

More people enter the fight, more firebenders attack, try to overpower Shiro. It looks insurmountable.

“Don’t you get it, Keith? I can’t ever stop!” Shiro sounds desperate, and Keith can’t stop himself. He runs towards the other again, but it’s still as useless as before. “I don’t know how to stop. This is all I’ve ever done. And if I stop fighting, if the fight is over, what else do I have?”

Keith doesn’t know how he hears it perfectly, the distance between them keeps growing and Shiro’s voice keeps getting weaker. He’s losing him and he doesn’t know how to stop it.

“You have me!” he says, reaching with one hand. “And the team and… and it’s okay if you’re a little broken, if you’re not always perfect. I just want you to let me in! Stop fighting me.”

The scene changes abruptly and Keith feels Shiro’s hand on his neck. He looks up into his eyes and he can only see sadness there. “I don’t know how to do that, either.”

It breaks Keith’s heart a little. He knows that for all that Shiro has done for him, he still keeps Keith at a certain distance. He has never taken it too personally, it’s how Shiro is. He needs to be in control, he doesn’t want anyone worrying about him and he keeps saying he’s fine when he’s not.

Keith puts his hand over Shiro’s and he holds on. “If you want, we’ll go to that house, we’ll stay away from everyone for as long as you need. I don’t care about politics, or restoring the nations, or anything else. Let me take care of you.”

He sees Shiro shaking his head, so he raises his other hand and he places it on Shiro’s face, stopping him. “Just come back, Takashi.”

It takes a second, and Keith thinks he has failed, that maybe they will both be trapped here forever, but Shiro smiles in the end. There are tears in his eyes, but Keith doesn’t care.

“I want to,” Shiro whispers, his voice low and timid. He removes his hand from Keith’s neck and takes his hand instead. They are both cold “I am scared, Keith.”

And Keith laughs and gets a little closer. “I know. Remember? Team Scared Together.” He kisses him. They fall.

Keith opens his eyes and he’s back in the infirmary. Inside of him he can feel the bond radiating with life. He looks down and Shiro has his eyes open. The tears are still there but he’s smiling. It’s enough.

 

 

 

“Are you sure?” Keith says, for what feels like the thirtieth time. Shiro looks back at him, a little annoyed.

Since the fall of Zarkon, when the team had recovered enough to actually move around, they have been traveling the world, liberating every city that was still under Fire Empire command. Voltron has become a symbol of freedom.

In the Fire Capital, the members of the Blade of Marmora are creating a new government, but the work is slow and it doesn’t help that the other nations don’t want to recognize any government with a firebender in power. He and Keith have tried to become mediators in these talks, but the fights have kept them occupied enough.

“You really think we can say no to this?” he asks, with a little huff. “It’s all right. We can… we can take a break after.”

Keith doesn’t seem to be happy about it, but they both know that liberating the South Water Tribe is something that needs to be done, for the world but, most of all, for Lance.

They would have come before, but along the way they had found so many villages and cities that had needed their help.

“I know,” Keith says, but he still doesn’t seem happy. “I just…” he stops himself, but Shiro can sense the worry emanating from him.

His memories of what had transpired in the spirit world are shaky as best, but Keith remembers everything and it seems that whatever they talked about has put him in a state of constant worry. He can’t say it’s not nice to be looked after like this, but he doesn’t know how to let Keith help.

He’s scared that when Voltron won’t be needed anymore, the nightmares that he keeps at bay every night will become worse. He thinks Keith is waiting for that, fretting and pushing.

Shiro is getting better, he thinks, at being honest with himself and with others. It’s a gradual process, but seeing Keith getting better at accepting his past, the errors he has made, is helping him immensely.

Keith gets closer and puts a hand on his back. Shiro closes his eyes and tries to lose himself in the moment, tries to enjoy himself and think of nothing else. Keith must pick up on something because he raises his other hand to Shiro’s cheek and kisses him.

Shiro melts into it, brings Keith closer to him. They kiss for a moment before Keith, the little tease, tugs on Shiro’s hair. He groans into Keith’s mouth, unable to stop, and grinds into Keith’s thighs helplessly. They haven’t had much time to be together, but they have upgraded their travels to rooms in the inns in liberated villages and they have made it work.

Right now he feels Keith push himself more against Shiro. He’s painting but he’s also smiling, knowing perfectly well the effect he’s having on Shiro, the bastard.

“Are you _really_ sure?” Keith repeats with a devilish smirk and Shiro is too intoxicated by his mere presence to do anything else but kiss him again.

It’s at that point that someone knocks on the door, loudly.

“You know we can actually feel that, right?” Lance’s voice come from the other side of the door and Keith looks back at the door with a frown.

“No you can’t, Lance, just go away,” he snaps, but Shiro already knows that whatever was building up there is lost. He minds a little, he’s not a saint, but he knew it was coming.

“Not going away! And I don’t need to feel it in our strange bond, I know you guys! But this is important, so let’s go!” He keeps banging his hand on the door and Shiro almost laughs. Keith looks so irritated.

“Don’t laugh, Shiro,” he mumbles, but he takes a step back, fixes his clothes, and walks towards the door, opening it quickly. Lance loses his balance and trips, crashing to the ground.

“What the hell, Keith!” he cries. “You did that on purpose.” Keith doesn’t even reply and just raises an eyebrow. Shiro laughs behind his hand, trying to be inconspicuous.

“Are you guys ready?” Hunk asks, appearing at the door with Pidge behind him. She immediately laughs and makes fun of Lance.

Behind them, Allura huffs a _Children_ , but he can see she’s almost laughing, too.

Sometimes it’s still strange to think that they have won. After so many years, after not having known anything else their own lives, freedom seems like a strange concept.

Shiro looks at his friends and he thinks it’s something he can get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I want to thank the people that have helped me make this not suck TOO much:  
> \- My beta Avidreader @ tumblr. Thank you so much for everything, really!  
> \- My artists, moon_fossil and alicyana on tumblr  
> Moon Fossil [drew](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002812620/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) [me](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002862530/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) [so](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002885345/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) [many](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002916750/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) [beautiful](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002937640/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) [scenes](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002967525/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) [I'm](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165002987305/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) [so](https://moon-fossil.tumblr.com/post/165003437940/elements-sheith-fanfic-done-for-the-2017-sheith) lucky <3 (also linked in the relevant parts of the fics)  
> Alicyana drew the cover! You can find her post [here](http://alicyana.tumblr.com/post/165012109343/this-is-my-entry-for-the-sheithbigbang-i-was)  
> \- The people on discord that have supported me and heard me talking about this for MONTHS
> 
> This has been a wild ride and I'm so grateful for everyone that will like this fic and maybe keep it in their memories <3 As always any kind of comment is welcomed. Kudos are lovely. You know the drill.


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